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Overall Rating

Awesome: 11.11%
Worth A Look: 11.11%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad77.78%
Total Crap: 0%

1 review, 3 user ratings

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by The Ultimate Dancing Machine

"It splices. It dices. And mostly, it sucks."
2 stars

Usually, the best thing you can say for straight-to-video horror films like this is that they're watchable. They're not likely to be any good at all, but you can sit through them without feeling compelled to reach for the STOP button. That's what we have here with SPLICED, a tolerable if thoroughly mediocre effort.

Troubled teen Mary (Liane Balaban) is apparently being stalked by the ghostly killer featured in the popular horror film THE WISHER. The Wisher, you see, likes to cause havoc by literally fulfilling people's wishes. Example: Mary wishes that her loudmouthed friend would shut the hell up, and soon The Wisher is cutting out the poor girl's tongue. You can see where this might cause problems. Mary must figure out how to get the genie, as it were, back in the bottle.

You could do a lot with this kind of premise. Alas, there's little imagination at work in SPLICED, which echoes other films without improving on them. The Wisher himself, for example, seems to be a composite of The Crow (long hair, deathly pallor) and Freddy Krueger (sharp blades on ends of fingers). The plot unrolls in strictly standard manner, with dopey stock-horror moments. When will characters in horror films figure out that if you find yourself wandering around in a darkened room, hearing strange noises, and feeling compelled to yell this isn't funny, you guys in the belief that someone's playing a practical joke on you--then you're dead. That's all there is to it. Ron Silver appears for a I'm-just-here-for-the-paycheck turn as a high school teacher.

SPLICED screws up badly at the end, with a silly surprise ending that fails to explain quite a lot of what happens earlier. But production values are decent, at least, and as I say it makes for endurable viewing.

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originally posted: 01/18/04 20:45:21
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User Comments

2/03/04 Michelle I found the movie silly and very poorly done... 2 stars
1/27/04 Taja Williams it was good,its worth the look 4 stars
1/25/04 Bob Sagat I liked this movie as much as everyone likes me. 5 stars
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Directed by
  Gavin Wilding

Written by
  Ellen Cook

  Liane Balaban
  Robert Bamford
  Siri Baruc
  David Geiss
  Drew Lachey
  Ron Silver

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