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Overall Rating

Awesome: 1.82%
Worth A Look: 1.82%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 20%
Total Crap76.36%

4 reviews, 31 user ratings

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by Scott Weinberg

"A turkey this huge deserves a November release...and a shotgun to the head."
1 stars

It doesn't surprise me to see Ashley Judd in yet ANOTHER worthless 'crime thriller'. It doesn't shock me to sit through yet ANOTHER painfully formulaic dungpile that feels as if it were produced for the Lifetime Channel. It doesn't shatter my world to see solid character actors like Sam Jackson, David Strathairn and Andy Garcia slumming for a paycheck. But "Directed by Philip Kaufman"? Ugh, too depressing to even contemplate.

Who's Philip Kaufman? Only a screenwriter/director who has had his hand in movies like The Outlaw Josey Wales, The Wanderers, The Right Stuff, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Henry & June, Quills, and the brilliant 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers! Heck, even his less-than-excellent projects (like, say, Rising Sun) have a flair and a crispness that indicate the presence of a truly talented filmmaker.

But Twisted? Holy macaroni. It boggles the mind to imagine how such a fantastic moviemaker could be behind such a truly abhorrent end product. It's as if the most obvious and boring sequences of Ashley Judd's filmography were snipped and inserted into one yawning crapfest.

And they called it Twisted.

For those who had no trouble buying Ashley Judd as 'empowered' in the endless deluge of chaff that was Double Jeopardy, Eye of the Beholder, High Crimes and Kiss the Girls, well here's a fifth go round, an interminable whodunit about a slutty police detective and her soon-to-be-dead sex partners. Hey, I bet Ashley gets accused of killing all these guys, ONLY because she's shtupped each and every one! And I bet she didn't do it, despite every effort by Sarah Thorp's atrocious screenplay to trick us into thinking there's something 'shocking' around every corner.

The only thing shocking about Twisted is how such a piteous movie could come with the name Philip Kaufman attached to it. You've seen better mysteries on Murder, She Wrote, you'll hear more convincing dialogue in an Ed Wood flick, and you'll experience better sex scenes on a hot day at your local zoo.

I think it's officially time to give up on this whole "Ashley Judd" thing. At least where the 'tough gal' schpiel is concerned. I've seen ferns that are more threatening than Ms. Judd.

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originally posted: 03/19/04 08:47:50
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User Comments

1/10/16 Fartley J. Hogdick Shitty movie, shittier review (ack, such lifeless prose) 1 stars
10/01/12 scott maxwell Twisted says it all 5 stars
7/10/11 Jennifer Barr boring 2 stars
3/18/08 Vinny Ashley Judd thrillers are all the same, this shit hit it's peak with basic instinct ffs! 1 stars
2/14/08 Jack Sommersby It was Phillip Noyce, not Phillip Kaufman, who directed this film. 1 stars
9/19/07 Sugarfoot So mediocre in its execution, I can't believe this was done by the guy who did Dead Calm 2 stars
2/22/07 Sheila Koffel Good one Norema! Trashly Dudd most egregiously robbed of a golden raspberry! Zero stars! 1 stars
11/18/05 Norema Cameron Trashley Dudd must be trying to make EYE OF THE BEHOLDER look relatively good. 1 stars
8/20/05 ES if you've seen a Judd movie . . . 1 stars
3/17/05 Colleen Goldrick I enjoyed this one 4 stars
11/23/04 tatum Stunning lack of suspense 2 stars
10/31/04 Naka Judd is _____ *insert hate here* 1 stars
10/23/04 ODH Wow, a terrible suspense movie that borders on retarded 1 stars
10/21/04 Regina George didn't really survive the school bus accident AJ exercises unbelievable talent for making EYE OF THE BEHOLDER no longer her worst movie! 1 stars
9/14/04 Marvin Is Ashley Judd trying to tie with Osama bin Laden for Public Enemy #1? 1 stars
8/09/04 Iris Verna Ashley Judd needs to exorcise her demons, NOT exercise them! 1 stars
6/08/04 Lactose-free bean "A waste of Judd and Jackson" is like a waste of ricin and anthrax. 1 stars
6/06/04 Norema Cameron Trashley Dudd must be trying to make EYE OF THE BEHOLDER look relatively good. 1 stars
5/24/04 Butterbean A waste of Judd and Jackson. Should have been a Lifetime channel original movie 1 stars
5/18/04 Iris Verna Ashley Judd's final dispelling of any rumors that she has a soul. 1 stars
4/27/04 Tiffany Faye Hawthorne What's the difference between Ashley Judd and Hannibal Lecter? HL is entertaining. 1 stars
4/26/04 Jenna Furr If Ashley Judd gets any more obnoxious, she belongs in a cage. 1 stars
4/25/04 Ajax Ugh. Just as bad as that Angelina Jolie one. 1 stars
3/29/04 LCAJ This movie was a joke. It was stupid, a waste of time, and a jumbled up piece of junk. 1 stars
3/22/04 Roy Smith Generic product, don't even download it for free. 1 stars
3/22/04 Marco i've seen so mu much better. boring and gay 1 stars
3/07/04 C. Hernandez Wait for cable. Don't pay to see this. 2 stars
3/03/04 dickass die all of you please 1 stars
3/02/04 nniedzielski well THAT was a ridiculous waste of 97 minutes 2 stars
3/02/04 Str8Dog Hrm.. Looks like the writer finished their copy of Mysteries for Dummies 1 stars
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  27-Feb-2004 (R)
  DVD: 31-Aug-2004


  20-May-2004 (MA)

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