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Total Crap100%

1 review, 2 user ratings


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Skinned Deep
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by Dr Nick

"Stay away from this family....and this film"
1 stars

This was one of the worst experiences I've ever had in the cinema. This amateurish mess of a movie tries to be clever and tongue-in-cheek, but fails miserably in all departments. With hardly no redeeming features at all, this is a complete waste of time.

The Rockwells, an all-American family, are on holiday driving across the country. Unfortunately, they agree to join the world's weirdest woman and her family for dinner. Unfortunately for the Rockwells her family consists of a psychotic, violent plate-throwing dwarf, a psycho with a robotic bird-like metal contraption for a face and Brain, a dorky looking boy with an external brain about ten times larger than the rest of his head. These weirdoes kill all of the Rockwells, except for the teenage daughter Tina, who Brain wants to keep. Will Tina manage to escape? Does anyone care?

As I am usually a big fan of "bad" movies, I was really excited about Skinned Deep. The plot sounded really stupid and funny, and the festival programme spoke of good gory special effects. It also compared it to Troma films and Peter Jackson's Braindead, and being a big fan of these I just had to see this. I should have known better than to take advice from a film festival programme. For a film of this nature to work, one vital ingredient is needed and if this is present it doesn't matter how inept the dialogue is or how bad the special effects are. This special ingredient is charm, something which Troma and Peter Jackson's early films have in abundance. This is also where Skinned Deep falls so hopelessly short. It tries so hard to be tongue-in-cheek and "so bad it's good", but succeeds only in being boring and "so bad it's just bad".

The actors try really hard to read their lines as badly as they can. The only problem is that they are already really bad actors. If they had tried to read their lines well, then they would have failed and the result would probably have been better. And most of the dialogue, probably all of it, looks like it was recorded afterwards, and the dubbing is absolutely appalling.

There is however some redeeming features, which manage to pull this mess of a movie up to the magnificent rating of one star. It is quite nicely shot at times, although much of the set looks like it's been stolen from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. You get to see Tina, a very pretty girl, vomit straight into the camera, and finally, you get to see a pensioner pull the head of a psychotic dwarf. Apart from this, there really isn't that much to keep your mind from wandering to admire the wallpaper in the theatre.

In the end this just feels like a badly made student movie, with none of the charm of a badly made student movie and a way too generous budget. Maybe it would help to be really, really drunk when you see this, but in order to find that out I would have to sit through this again. And that is something I am just not prepared to do.

Skinned Deep, what can I say? Just stay away from this appalling piece of crap, which is an insult to "bad" movies everywhere. There's not even any nudity!

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=9030&reviewer=345
originally posted: 08/23/04 20:15:25
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OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 San Francisco Horror Film Festival. For more in the 2004 San Francisco Horror Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 Edinburgh Film Festival. For more in the 2004 Edinburgh Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

9/30/05 Beefy Awefully scripted,acted,produced cack. Looks like it was made in the 70's. 1 stars
8/31/05 Indrid Cold Atrocious. Does Warwick Davis need cash that bad? 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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Directed by
  Gabriel Bartolos

Written by
  Gabriel Bartolos

Cast
  Warwick Davis
  Peter Iasillo Jr.



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