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Overall Rating
2.12

Awesome: 19.51%
Worth A Look: 4.88%
Average: 7.32%
Pretty Bad: 4.88%
Total Crap63.41%

1 review, 35 user ratings


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Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
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by Scott Weinberg

"The awfulness is one thing; the plagiarism is something else."
1 stars

Imagine a shark the size of a shopping mall. Now Imagine that shark eating people. Now imagine a movie that ruins such a brilliant concept.

Pardon my vulgarity, but there's a line of dialogue in Shark Attack 3: Megalodon that goes:

"How about I take you home and eat your pussy?"

No humor, no trace of irony, just a male character saying it to a female one as if asking for a lunch date.

I sat there stunned. Sure I'd hallucinated such a howlingly inept line of dialogue, I scanned back on my remote.

He said it again! I laughed out of sheer incredulity.

That was the only positive reaction I got out of b]Shark Attack 3: Megalodon.

Now, I love movies about giant sharks. Granted, there haven't been all that many - but I DID once read a very cool novel entitled MEG written by fellow Philadelphian Steve Alten. MEG is about a giant prehistoric megalodon that gets woken up and begins devouring people by the massive mouthful. A solid little page-turner; a very fun read.

You can bet that the low-rent shlocksters at Nu Image Studios read Alten's book too. They even stole the damn title! But while the 'source material' has memorable characters, logical scientific mumbo-jumbo, intense moments of gory action, and an overall vibe of escapist fun - Shark Attack 3 is simply inept in every way.

Case in point: that dialogue I mentioned above. If that's not enough of a red flag, realize that most of this movie is BLAH BLAH YAKKITY YAK garbage. The shark attacks are few and far between, and most of them consist of the exact same stock footage of a shark leaping skyward. Through the magic of MS Paint and a well-trained monkey, that leaping shark now looks a little bigger while the food it's eating (people, boats, other people's novels) looks just a tiny bit smaller.

Be sure you're not drinking anything during the big buffet finale. When this giant shark leaps up and swallows a raft full of keening humanoid appetizers, I challenge you not to laugh in outright amazement. (The sort of amazement that comes when you see something really stupid very suddenly.) Needless to say this movie is packed to the rafters with that awful and mundane sort of bad acting and special effects that would have seemed special MAYBE in 1948.

Hopefully this low-grade import won't ruin Alten's chances of seeing his entertaining novel translated to the silver screen. Lord knows we could use a great "Giant Prehistoric Shark" flick. We already have the worst one.

Sure, this one may be "so bad it's good" but there's something about the flick's outright plagiarism that prevents me from offering it even a backhanded compliment.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=9135&reviewer=128
originally posted: 05/03/04 20:04:56
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User Comments

6/07/10 Sean Worst. Freaking. Movie. Ever. 1 stars
4/24/10 Oziris The best dog scene ever!!!! 5 stars
3/03/10 Klim it is such a bad fillm,the worst I've seen in my life. 1 stars
1/23/10 kid I rented this one JUST to hear J. Barrowman talk about eating pussy. sweet, sweet irony. 5 stars
12/28/09 Reggie O'Neil So bad it is good!!! I love it! 5 stars
12/24/09 ultimaIX Funny you mention Meg - i've read it, and i thought the exact same thing. What a ripoff! 1 stars
12/22/09 Jinny Bazza lol movie was terrible but barrowmans fit so not complaining^^ 2 stars
8/19/09 Night1836 Movie was lame but John Barrowman was fabulous as always! 3 stars
6/11/09 M Terrible, CGI is horrible. And the acting is much worse. 1 stars
4/12/09 Wow, lots of people put fake high ratings If you want a movie so bad thati's it funny, choose this. If you want any quality, no. 1 stars
4/06/09 Sugarfoot A five star comedy, too bad the movie wasn't meant to be one. 1 stars
4/16/08 Quigley Laughably bad in every way. See it for the cheese factor alone, or avoid completely. 1 stars
1/23/08 MM Oh dear! I can't believe I watched this through... and laughed! Utter trash. 1 stars
12/01/07 Jim Jordan Acting could have been better, but a pretty good Great Big Shark Movie!!! 4 stars
7/26/07 John Barrowman This is was a great movie! Great acting, better effects! 5 stars
6/15/07 Vincent Ebriega Bad acting, bad effects and bad script. It's "Jaws" directed by Ed Wood. F. 1 stars
4/23/07 David Risser The worst Jaws rip-off of all time. Terrible CGI. 1 stars
2/01/07 Chris Blackwell This has to be the worst movie of all time. 1 stars
12/29/06 David Pollastrini HORRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE 1 stars
5/18/06 Andrew Temperley Absolute Ridicule, Complete And Utter Crap 1 stars
12/03/05 cody a ok shark flick with couple good scares, bad effects,and medicore acting bad fun 2 stars
7/19/05 Brandy Harrington It bites! 1 stars
6/19/05 JJ People should do a little research when doing a movie. Fiber optics doesn't radiate EMI 1 stars
5/28/05 tony Why dont they just make the shark a cartoon character. THIS IS HORRIBLE! 1 stars
8/07/04 ELI I dont see how ANYBODY could like this movie. :( 1 stars
8/04/04 Jessica Scott Jaws? Good Shark . Shark Attack 3? Bad Shark! 1 stars
8/03/04 james arthur this movie is goddamn genius! it is too funny for words 5 stars
7/08/04 S It was a scary movie @ first! My sis. kept sayin throughout the movie"The hero never dies!" 4 stars
7/02/04 jen knee mcshane it;s an awe inspiring film. 5 stars
6/23/04 Tom Poccia Absolutely, without a doubt, the funniest movie I have ever been lucky enough to see. 5 stars
6/02/04 katie scary 1 stars
5/31/04 Shawn A. Evans, Robert A. Esposito The dudes looked great in the wet suit 5 stars
4/21/04 Hristo Gurov good film I know him from internet 3 stars
4/18/04 bill it was so funny not comically though truly terribler. it is worth a look just for laughs 1 stars
4/02/04 I Ate the Sheriff Hard to sit through, it's so stupid, but the shark is comically huge (it swallows a boat!) 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  26-Nov-2002 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  02-Mar-2003




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