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Overall Rating

Awesome: 7.41%
Worth A Look: 16.67%
Average: 12.96%
Pretty Bad: 18.52%
Total Crap44.44%

4 reviews, 30 user ratings

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by Erik Childress

"Just Because It's About Dogshit, Doesn't Mean It Has To Be Dogshit"
1 stars

Words just escape me in describing to you how bad Envy is. Mainly because none of them want to be associated in any way with the film since they feel unworthy to accurately describe what an absolute bottomless pit of comedy this truly is. What due respect paid to the adjectives which frequently help me along the way to a good thrashing, Iíll just try to put Envy in context with other garbage. Itís the worst project Barry Levinson has ever handled, which is saying a lot in a second half of a career that includes Sphere and Toys. Itís the worst thing that Ben Stiller (If Lucy Fell) and Jack Black (I Still Know What You Did Last Summer) have ever appeared in. Itís not quite as bad as this yearís 13 Going On 30, only because that film was bad and insulted motor neurons the world over. Envy is just throw-your-money-in-a-crapper bad, bad, BAD!

Stiller and Black play Tim Dingman and Nick Vanderpark, best friends since forever who both work at the same 9-to-5 factory. Tim has the office while Nick, the dreamer, has low scores on his focus report. Nick is your typical poor manís Cosmo Kramer, the kind those get-your-patent-NOW commercials on TV were born for. His latest idea is for a spraycan that can eliminate pet excrement for no messy cleanup. Heís even got a catchy name for it: VaPOOrize.

When Nickís invention literally cleans-up as a cashcow, he builds his fortune right on the same block where heís lived next to Tim for years. Heís not rubbing his nose in it, he just wants to stay close to his friend. Thatís one of the biggest problems with the filmís script. Everyone in the film is nice! Kinda takes the bite out of the black comedy when the guy being hated actually buys you gifts on a regular basis.

But Nick hates Tim now. He hates being constantly reminded by his wife (Rachel Weisz) that the little investment opportunity originally offered by their neighbor could have put them on the same gravy train with biscuit wheels. He hates having to buy his family the small swimming pool and not offering flan for dessert. He hates watching Tim gallop around on his steed and how heís being played by an actor who is making a year out of killing white horses in the movies. He hates, hates, hates!!! Just not as much as you will this film.

Itís rare that any comedy can be released and be so utterly devoid of laughs. In fact, I think all Hollywood comedies are now being budgeted with a red phone on-set for the filmmakers to immediately call in Christopher Walken to liven things up. Walken doing his shtick got a chuckle out of me; but even a chuckle canít compare to the huge laughs I got out of his five minutes in Gigli. Thatís right, Gigli.

Iím done talking about Envy. It has a subzero laugh quotient and none of the gags or performances are remotely interesting. Stiller has an unfunny, unending monologue towards the end that even seems to have been edited down. What else can I tell you to make sure you donít spend your hard-earned dollar on this junk at the theater, on DVD, on cable, or duped into buying something from a commercial in-between its run in three years on a network? Iíll just quote the recurring observation from the film Ė ďShit just doesnít disappear, it has to go somewhere.Ē

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originally posted: 04/30/04 14:01:39
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User Comments

11/14/10 JP Ward This flick oughtta be vaporized 1 stars
2/17/08 Phil M. Aficionado So bad it probably has to be a 2-star rather than 1. Ironic that it's about dog poo? Nah. 2 stars
4/28/06 Ace i loved it! 5 stars
1/06/06 JM Synth Of the 100-odd movies Stiller made in 04, this was the most maligned, but I liked it. 4 stars
11/21/05 matt od walken is awesome, this movie rules, period. 5 stars
10/16/05 tony why did they put stiller and black in this shit movie 1 stars
9/24/05 Nadine Thompson Most horrible movie ever. Unfunny, boring, overrated, and sickening to a waste of talent. 1 stars
5/22/05 Saab Rocks How can a movie with Ben Stiller in it be this boring and uninteresting? 2 stars
5/01/05 ed.williams Just a bad movie painful to watch. Stiller has no charcter depth. 1 stars
2/21/05 Captain Craig Jacks a blast. The movie isnt oscar material but still funny 4 stars
1/28/05 Jack Scallops This underrated comedy is worth seeing 5 stars
1/06/05 Razzie-Magnet Easily, the Worst Movie of 2004 1 stars
12/23/04 HL Valderee, Valderah, Valderee, Valderah..ha ha... 4 stars
11/21/04 The Talking Elbow A great cast can't save this disaster 2 stars
11/07/04 Hilary Adamson So fucking funny I almost needed Vapoorize sprayed in my panties! 5 stars
10/11/04 Dan Funny 4 stars
7/16/04 Movie would've been better that way. Thought Debbie was gettin up to shit on table to make Tim retrieve Vapoorize from trash can 3 stars
7/14/04 Confessions Of A Teenage Trauma Queen Kinda cute. (Any Movie in which Rachel Weisz is watchable can't be half bad.) 4 stars
6/04/04 Wanda Ruhr Needs a sequel starring Ashley Judd, in which she gets sprayed w/ Vapoorizer and disappears 4 stars
6/01/04 mike I liked it. Walken is hilarious and the Flan bits as well. 4 stars
5/14/04 Agent Sands Hilarious. Good cast, good script, good horse death scene. 4 stars
5/13/04 Whatevr Worst movie I never saw 1 stars
5/08/04 Heidi A complete waste 1 stars
5/07/04 Gobsmack GOD!!!!!!! 1 stars
5/04/04 earl hofert yuck 1 stars
5/04/04 Mike Mike The audience was bored out of their minds. I think they laughed maybe 3 times. 1 stars
5/01/04 susan lee first draft of script pretty good, hard to drag out premise though 2 stars
5/01/04 Lillian Faye This is one of the worst movies I have ever endured. So bad I am actually rating it here. 1 stars
4/29/04 Rodg Not Last Temptation has its moments 4 stars
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  30-Apr-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 28-Sep-2004



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