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Total Crap75%

1 review, 2 user ratings

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Adventures of Pinocchio, The (1984)
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by Scott Weinberg

"How many GOOD Pinocchio adaptations have there been?"
1 stars

I’m not exactly sure what would possess Warner Bros. Home Video to purchase and distribute such an obscure and disposable Japanese cartoon like this one...

...but there’s absolutely NO reason under the Earth’s yellow sun that you should consider picking this one up for the kids. I’m not about to propose that Disney deserves ALL your video-buying cash, but in a universe where their 1940 classic is still available there’s no freaking WAY that you need drop the 12 bucks for this shoddy little product.

Made in the mid-80s and presumably left moldering in some vault somewhere (the IMDb has less than five total votes for this movie), this “Adventures of Pinocchio” is not the live-action one you may remember as one of Martin Landau’s sillier efforts. No, this one is a made-on-the-cheap Saturday Morning-style affair, one that offers horrific animation, unappealing voice-over performances and songs so keeningly awful that they’ll make you believe there is indeed a Satan…and he writes music.

The plot here is your standard Pinocchio stuff: he’s wooden, he’s mischievious, he’s a little liar with a growing nose who hates school and has a strange affinity for falling in with the worst new pals imaginable. It’s all here, presented in horribly ugly fashion, but what’s weirdest is all the NEW oddness added in. Those familiar with the original Collodi tale will be perpetually scratching their heads as newer and uglier characters bound onto the screen. Only this time you’re watching a project so inept you may actually consider it as a punishment for unruly kids as opposed to a big treat come movie night.

Putting aside the Disney classic, Pinocchio has suffered through an unending series of atrocious movies. Roberto Benigni learned the tortorous way that people are kinda sick of the whole thing, and the less said about the animated Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night the better. But this adaptation ranks right down at the bottom of the birdcage.

Produced on the cheap and with very little insight into quality kid’s entertainment, this one’s a turkey that parents should be sure to avoid.

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originally posted: 04/29/04 14:32:00
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User Comments

5/17/14 Robbie Hepworth Pinocchio is Awesome 5 stars
4/01/09 Nishant Tomar u'r perhaps biased. dis's d best pinochio i remmber. disney tales r nthin bt feel-good crap 5 stars
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  02-May-1984 (G)



Directed by
  Ippei Kuri
  Jim Terry

Written by
  Angelo Grillo

  Danielle Romeo
  Lacoya Newsome
  Cindy Kozacik
  Pearl Terry
  David Scott

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