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That'd be Johnathon Schaech, of That Thing You Do! and about 28 other movies that never saw the inside of a multiplex. I mean, it's not every day you get a Caan / Schaech movie, right?

And since I sincerely consider James Caan to be one of the coolest actors in the history of actors, it was with a hopeful disposition that I inserted Blood Crime into my DVD player.

That fan-based goodwill petered out after about 9.3 minutes. Because, despite the presence of the illustrious Mr. Caan and the often-unintentionally-amusing presence of Mr. Schaech, Blood Crime is precisely what one would expect from a movie "presented by the USA Network". And that ain't much.

Dan Pruitt is a Seattle policeman who's as "burnt out" as a Seattle policeman played by a Ken doll could possibly be, and if Dan thinks life is stressful now...just wait. Because Danny unwisely leaves his lovely wife all alone...at night...in the woods. And wouldn't you know it? Sleazy rustic folks happen upon Mrs. Pruitt and they treat her rather shabbily. Detective Dan reappears just in time to lay down some hick-boy ass-whupping...

But things turn...deadly! One of the drooling dolts ends up as a corpse and...wouldn't you know it? He was the local sheriff's slophead son! So now here comes James Caan, with a perpetual look on his face that says 'This movie stinks like a fart. I'll do my down-home best, collect my check, and bolt.' The rest of the flick is essentially this: Caan suspects Schaech, doesn't do anything. Schaech tries to clear his name while keeping the sheriff in the dark, doesn't work. Wifey lies in a hospital acting as a push-button dose of sap right before the commercial breaks; the clues pile up as you quietly drift off to sleep on your couch.

Even in the most annoyingly contrived TV flicks, an actor of Caan's caliber will intermittently tunnel through the dreck and offer something of value, and that's certainly the case in Blood Crime. But is it worth spending 90 minutes with something this slow-witted and predictable, just for a few stray moments of Classic Caan Craftwork?

I'd say no, and Jimmy C. would probably agree with me. The guy's done so many great movies that deserve your 100 minutes of attention, and aside from his presence, there's really no other reason to bother with this one.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=9403&reviewer=128
originally posted: 04/29/04 16:30:04
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