"Brosnan had a nasty little rough spot before he donned the James Bond tux."
Webster’s Dictionary doesn’t contain enough adjectives to describe how boring this film is. It’s drab, dreary, listless, lifeless, uneventful, bland, tiresome, uninteresting, uninvolving, and basically just crappy.It would be easier to dismiss this one as yet another pointless Fatal Attraction rip-off, but I doubt the screenwriters even tried so hard as to actually rip something off. Produced for network TV in 1991 (under the title Victim of Love) and recently dusted off thanks to the leading man’s upcoming revival of the James Bond character, Raw Heat is precisely as awful as you’d expect a 1991 TV movie to be. Worse, actually.
Here’s what we got: Pierce Brosnan (The Fourth Protocol) is a handsome and mysterious professor who starts up a stilted love affair with psychiatrist JoBeth Williams (American Dreamer). One of the shrink’s patients claims to also be bedding down with the dapper dude, and since she’s played by Virginia Madsen (Creator) – you can assume she’s probably telling the truth. Thus begins the most generic and unconvincing love triangle ever to be spun onto a DVD. (While the wretched script deserves much of the blame, leading lady Williams comes off as more of a stressed-out soccer mom than anything resembling a sexy lady.)
If I told you this movie had a scene in which Pierce rubs ice all over JoBeth’s naked body, would that be enough to keep you away? How about if I explained how this movie somehow manages to stretch one full act of material into 90-some painful minutes? You could spend the first hour watching coffee commercials, and still gain the ability to predict where this movie’s heading after 15 seconds. A five-year old could figure out this movie’s finale using only construction paper and paste. There’s not one surprise, not one convincing performance, and not one real reason for this movie to exist – except that ten years ago one of the three TV networks needed some filler for a Tuesday night 9:00 PM slot.
Artisan Home Entertainment aims to earn a few bucks off of Brosnan’s name, though I highly doubt there are many Bond freaks who’d buy the DVD of a movie they’d probably tape right over if they needed to record this week’s episode of "The Sopranos". And what’s the deal with the silly new title? Victim of Love is bland enough, but at least it makes sense! Raw Heat? Huh? Is it possible to somehow have "Cooked Heat"? I digress.Any masochist who somehow loves made-for-TV movies may enjoy it; anyone else should avoid this one like syphilis.