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Sure, I love the guy; he’s been a staple of quality genre flicks for twenty years now (his performances in Aliens, Pumpkinhead and Near Dark instantly cement his reputation) but man oh MAN has this guy been in some stinkeroos. Hardcore movie nerds inevitably giggle whenever the movie Druids is mentioned, and with good reason: it’s one of the most unabashedly awful movies ever made. Ever.

Henriksen’s most recent is called Sasquatch, although it goes as The Untold in locales other than North America. Nothing happens in it. Like, nothing. There’s a sketchy little plot outline involving plane crashes, important corporate paperwork and missing daughters. All that set-up does is plunk a half dozen people in the woods where a monster maybe lives.

I say maybe because you could watch this movie for one full hour and think it’s a nature documentary. The hairy beast shows up near Act III looking a whole lot like a fuzzy teamster, and then we fade out. No body count, no real gore, no logic, no point. Episode 1 of Fox’s "24" offers more closure than does the finale of this interminably bad movie.

Lance, you’re still a hero to all us movie nerds. We know you have bills to pay. We can overlook crap like this. Perhaps you need a more discerning agent.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=9558&reviewer=128
originally posted: 05/02/04 18:37:23
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