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The unfortunately named Conrad (or “Connie”) Stevens (Joe Egender, looking like Giovanni Ribisi’s younger brother) is about to take that second trip in his life where both numbers in his age turn over. In the next 24 hours, give or take, Connie is going to talk to us about his life, his friends, his hopes and his dreams. Back when he was 14, his first girlfriend screwed him up so much he “did what everyone else did – built an emotional shield around himself and became a writer.” (Speak for yourself, Connie. Oh OK, guilty.)

He lives in a house with a collection of old school buddies and Frankie (Buffy Charlet) whose was kicked out of her house years ago and has now made her way around to sleeping with everyone under the new roof. Sean (Samuel Child) is the resident stud with both a Peter Pan AND a mommy complex. His present to Connie is sloppy seconds on the underage daughter of a girl they once went to high school with (and whom Sean slept with.) Back in town for Connie’s big celebration is Danny (nicely played by Ari Zagaris), the former star QB who later came out of the locker and is still looking to find himself.

Lurking In Suburbia keeps a running clock going on the day’s proceedings that doesn’t really add much until a final “AM” stipulating that time is meaningless. How anyone responds to the film will likely rest on their own personal experiences with not only the pseudo mid-life crisis, but the crowd they hung around. Those with steady jobs or success stories will be shouting “grow up already" and others with minimal knowledge of the Greek alphabet will be the ones responding to the characters comparing fraternity stunts. Having lived in the suburbs all my life, being party to another film with a patronizing view of the conditions (“suburbia is giving up on living life”) doesn’t exactly prescribe the necessary sympathy pills for me.

This never detracts from the general likeability of the characters. Conrad may not approve of the suburbs, but it comes from an introspective boredom rather than a pompous vindictiveness. A writer writes always, except normally in movies like this where a publisher has provided the advance but has nothing to show for it because of the author’s malaise. Conrad has a lot to say, so maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise to learn later that he’s actually written nine novels (all about “growing up”). We assume none have been published. When he asks if we mind that he feels like being quiet, we’re almost happy for the break

Conrad does have one coup de grace though as he reveals the “Things a man should never do after the age of 30” which includes using “party” as a verb, jello shots and enjoying Jerry Bruckheimer movies. (Does that mean I can only like Pirates of the Caribbean for another year?) Nevertheless it’s a great, funny list that is credited over the closing scroll to Wayne Northcross in Esquire magazine. I guess that should come as no surprise either.

I’m always interested to see that second 24 hours, after the tearful confessions have been forgotten and the booze has gone flat. Does anyone just pick up the pieces over the course of a single day? Conrad mishandles situations over just a few hours, like the unconvincing scenes with a stripper (Mitzi Thompson), each one diluting the meaning of the previous one. Lurking In Suburbia isn’t a bad film, just a too-familiar one that has its share of laughs but not quite an enlightenment that most haven’t learned by that age. Statistics do tell us that our fate will be something much harsher than staring down another ten years before the next age crisis. Maybe you can tell who your true friends are by who takes the 1.3 seconds to wish you Happy Birthday when it matters. And possibly one of the things that should be added to the Esquire list is creating another movie about a guy turning 30.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=9601&reviewer=198
originally posted: 06/09/04 11:21:21
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