DVD Reviews for 1/20: Special Hot-Tub Hannibal Edition
By Peter Sobczynski
Posted 01/20/06 15:37:59
In which your faithful scribe realizes to his horror at the last minute that the DVD he meant to write long on this week has apparently been delayed for a couple of months and, too lazy to slap together something else, decides to skip the feature entirely while hoping that people are too appalled by the idea of Anthony Hopkins and Bo Derek making out to notice.
NEW AND NOTABLE
ASYLUM (Paramount Home Video. $29.99): Watch this lurid and overheated potboiler only if you have an incurable desire to see Natasha Richardson indulging in extra-marital hanky panky within the walls of an insane asylum.
A CHANGE OF SEASONS (Anchor Bay Home Entertainment. $14.98): Watch this lurid and overheated potboiler (technically it is a comedy, but it isn’t a very funny one) only if you have an incurable desire to see Anthony Hopkins indulging in extra-marital hanky panky within a hot tub with Bo Derek in her first post-“10" role.
THE DEVIL AND MAX DEVLIN (Buena Vista Home Entertainment. $19.99): Watch this silly and mawkish comedy (in which Elliot Gould makes a deal with the devil, played by Bill Cosby, to get three innocents to sign over their souls so that he can avoid going to Hell for his own misdeeds) only if you have an incurable desire to see the kind of live-action tripe that almost destroyed Disney in the 1970's and early 1980's.
ENRON: THE SMARTEST GUYS IN THE ROOM (Magnolia Video. $26.98):Watch this angry and highly informative documentary only if you have an incurable desire to understand the details surrounding one of the most infamous financial meltdowns in American history.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (Indicam. $26.99): Watch this rather trivial documentary only if you have an incurable desire to get to know real-life porn star Stacy Valentine in a manner more emotional than gynecological.
JUNEBUG (Columbia/Tri-Star Home Entertainment. $26.98): Watch this amusing and thoughtful culture-clash dramedy (in which hip art dealer Embeth Davidtz goes down south to meet her husband’s family for the first time) only if you have an incurable desire to see what all the fuss is about surrounding the wonderful and touching supporting performance from Amy Adams as the pregnant sister-in-law who gloms onto the newcomer.
LORD OF WAR (Lion’s Gate Home Entertainment. $30.98): Watch this exceedingly dark and bitter black comedy about the arms trade only if you have an incurable desire to see what Nicholas Cage is still capable of as an actor when he is given a script that forces him to utilize his talents instead of merely coasting on his past successes.
THE MAN (New Line Home Entertainment. $27.98): Watch this utterly useless mismatched-buddy comedy only if you have an incurable desire to see just how far the formerly reliable likes of Eugene Levy and Samuel L. Jackson will now sink in the pursuit of a buck.
TWO FOR THE MONEY (Universal Home Video. $29.98): Watch this cheesy drama set in the world of professional sports bookmaking only if you have an incurable desire to see Al Pacino chew the scenery, the foundation and perhaps even co-stars Matthew McConaughey and Rene Russo in a performance that is both wildly over-the-top and shamelessly entertaining.
UNDERCLASSMAN (Miramax Home Video. $29.99): Watch this craptacular Nick Cannon vehicle, in which he plays a hotshot cop who goes undercover at a snooty private school for some damn reason or another, only if you have an incurable desire to revisit those dark days of last summer when Miramax was releasing one long-shelved dud after another while Disney was still footing the bill.
VENOM (Dimension Home Video. $29.99): Watch this cheap-jack horror film–something about a dope who comes back from the dead infected with the souls of a dozen psychopaths (transmitted through snakebites) to kill the latest crop of teen semi-stars–only if you have an incurable desire to see Bijou Phillips get her face sandblasted off (which is still preferable to working with Larry Clark again).