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Minor Everyday Shit that Really Pisses You Off...
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2003 8:53 pm    Post subject: Minor Everyday Shit that Really Pisses You Off... Reply with quote

Let's keep this one per customer. You can come right back and post another one, but only if someone else has posted ahead of you. No 2 in a row post.

I'll start off with:

PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO WALK UP OR DOWN ESCALATORS!!!

Hmm, what's this? A moving staircase? Oh what a JOY to not need the use of my own fucking LEGS!! Shit, if I were a crippled gimp, I could NEVER use my legs again! That's great!

Even worse than the ones who remain steadfast on the escalators are the wide-ass fatso humpers who have to like LAZE across both handrails, effectively standing in the way of you and your important business.

How sad is it that modern man doesn't even know how to use an escalator?

OK, more Minor Everyday Shit that Really Pisses You Off...

One per customer, bitchez.
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Oz
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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2003 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Those fucking emails that keep coming to me with subkect lines like "URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED" that tell me that I've been contacted because I'm very trustworthy and that some Nigerian/Israeli/Russian/Afghan/Zimbabwean banker/government official/farmer/retiree is trying to get money out of their country and is prepared to give me 20% of X million dollars if I'll only give them my bank details and sign a slip giving them permission to handle my account - which in reality will be used to empty it.

I mean, when you used to get one of these a month you could expect they might sucker one person in every thousand, but when you get six a day, the effectiveness of the scam is kinda worn off, you know?

By the way, Scott, I'm with you on the escalator front. But I take it a step further... I tell people how to use the escalator for future reference, which tends to humiliate them and anger them, but like that's my problem.
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 1:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man, I second that on the email from Nazir the ousted prince now posing as a Goat Herder who needs li'l ol' me to help him get his millions of dollars of blood-splattered oil money out of his flyblown shitbox country. Man, get that shit out of my face and go back to the desert and buy an army truck off of Pauly Shore and make sure you get it with the 8-track so you can listen to your "abudda budda budda" music!

BUT What really pisses me off on a daily basis are those fucking Nokia Cell phone / Agent Smith "Drink More Cola, bitch" / "Does she still suck dick behind the gymnasium?" find out at classmates.com! / "see hot chicks by your pool and burglars coming over your fence with a spy camera the size of a golf ball" POP UP ADS! Evil or Very Mad
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 1:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So far we got:

1. People who refuse to walk up/down escalators. - Scott
2. Spam email from people asking for your bank account number. - Oz
3. Goddam internet pop-up ads. - Brian

Who else has one?
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Erik The Movieman
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 10:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

While I was going to say the people on the street or in the mall or whatever who have no clear destination and are just going to impede your immediate progress by walking slow and all over the place...but that kinda fits into the elevator motif.

So, I'll go one step further. The fucking gawkers on the freeway. Oh look, a police car with his lights on, an abandoned car on the shoulder...MOVE THE FUCK ON!!! NOTHING TO SEE HERE PEOPLE!!!

How do traffic jams just all of a sudden breakup into fluent motion? This is one of those reasons!

Erik
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natasha_theobald
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 10:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

People who don't know it is their turn to go at a 4-way stop!
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

alright folks, it's another day, and I got another bitch!

This one concerns the oversatuation of radio commercials for TV shows nobody gives a rats ass about. Today, on every radio station in my preset list was the same commercial for the SERIES FINALE of Buffy the Goddamn Vampire Slayer. I'll skip the fact that the show is an annoying piece of fluff geared toward teenagers and pathetic fanboys rapidly approaching (or passing) their thirties, one that has moments of cleverness but in general THINKS it's far more clever than it really is.

But why oh why do we have to hear a commercial for it every five minutes? The only people who are going to watch are the established base of fans, who already KNOW it's on. Do they really think everyone else is going to say "You know, I haven't watched this show for the entire 7 years it was on, but I just HAVE to see it tonight!" ???

BTW, the season finale' of 24 is on tonight as well. I didn't hear one commercial for it all morning. I guess it's true, the best don't advertise.
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your mom advertises.
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, here's a new one:

Oh look. It's Tuesday! You know what that means! Scott's off to Best Buy to get himself some new DVDs. (OK, usually just one.) Can't wait to watch it!

Step 1: A layer of cellophane. No problem. I'm evolved from apes; I can tear a stupid plastic sheet.

Step 2: Hey a big white sticker covering the side! I can't open my movie! OK, let me see if I still have that cast-iron dentist's pick, the only tool that capably removes these goddam things.

Step 3: I removed the side sticker and, spitting in the face of physics, the case still won't open! I decided to point my eyes downward and figure out why. Hey, another long white sticker...on top of the case. Lemme go get my Widget.

Step 4: Now the side opens a little and the top section is coming along nicely. But I can still open the box just wide enough to shake the DVD out. This always scratches the disc up real bad. I put my new purchase on the shelf and go cry.

Step 5: I realize that the bottom of the case ALSO has a long white security sticker. I've seen banks with less concern for security. Scrape, rip, tear.

Step 6: Kill everyone you know out of sheer frustration.

I fucking HATE DVD security stickers. I spend 72% of my waking hours tearing those things off.

OK, 67%.
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Daddy Plaid



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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I 100% agree with all.
Erik, the bottle-necking on the highway is my biggest everyday
bitch, here in oklahoma its an everyday affair.
One step Further...............Weeks ago, when we got stampeded again by tornados, its like the whole state FLOCKS ON A MIGRATORY SUBCONSCIOUS TRIP to come see the carnage and destruction in hopes that he/she will be interviewed by a tv reporter to get their 2 cents in on what they saw.....ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I work close to where alot of carnage occured, all those bastards out here turned my normal 15 drive home into a 2 1/2 hour nightmare!!!!!!!!!!

My biggest bitch on an everyday basis would be just as I'm sitting down to eat, the phone rings, "...is the man of the house in?" Yes""blah blah blah""get to the fucking point man!!!!!!!!" you trying to sell me somethin or what?!?!?! if so FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That and the URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED are my biggest everyday bitches. What releases some steam is giving my enemies's credit card numbers to the Nigerian morons. Twisted Evil
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Jack Sommersby
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 2:26 pm    Post subject: -------------- Reply with quote

Cashiers who hand you back your coins on top of your bills before you've had adequate fucking time to put the bills in your wallet, so you have to pull aside, put your wallet down, put the coins in your pocket, then put the bills in your wallet -- something you should have been able to do in the first fucking place!

Mad
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Last edited by Jack Sommersby on Tue May 20, 2003 2:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 2:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Your mom advertises.


Yeah, but your mom . . . doesn't. Razz
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 2:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

1. Cockhead people who refuse to walk up/down escalators. - Scott
2. Spam email from degenerate suckholes asking for your bank account number. - Oz
3. Goddam internet pop-up ads. - Brian
4. Asshhole highway rubberneckers. - Erik
5. Morons unable to comprehend Stop Sign Protocol. - Tasha
6. Ad-nauseum. - Brian
7. Ball-licking little DVD security stickers. - Scott
8. Cashiers who are stupid and don't know how to hand people money. - Jack
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Jack Sommersby
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 3:27 pm    Post subject: ----------- Reply with quote

When you overhear a video clerk explaining to an upset customer for the upteenth time on the benefits of a letterboxed DVD, and the moron replies, "But I want to see the whole picture." -- even though it's the letterboxing that enables them to see thw whole fucking picture! Essentially, what the customer means is that they want the entire area of their TV filled, which is NOT the same as seeing the whole picture!
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Thumb the Toad
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 5:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[This for me anyway, as I get sick frequently.]

After finally getting a chance to see a movie in a couple o days, it is about to leave all the local theaters, so you plan to see it on the last day it is at any of the local theaters.

On that day, you get really sick and now you won't be able to see it and have to wait several months for it to hit video.
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Ben
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

threads like this piss me off
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Thumb the Toad
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any ultra-hardcore type of politics.

Communism pisses me off.
Anarchism pisses me off.
Fascism pisses me off.
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Charles Tatum



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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since I work overnights at Target, I witness this pretty much every night. People, when the nice lady on the intercom tells you the store is closing, we are serious! When the lights dim to half power, and the registers are emptied, we are shutting down for the night! Don't come waltzing in at five til ten, expecting to get that shopping done for the wedding you have to go to the next day, and your kids' summer clothes. Many times, people wander around oblivious, even as doors are being locked, then get offended when they cannot pay for their stuff. ("Yes, sir, I'll call HQ and tell them to open up our computer controlled tills so you can get that kitty litter at half price!") Doh!
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Oz
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any news program that boasts itself as having "attitude".

Get it in your head CNN, MSNBC, FOX - having one guy read the news as a Democrat while a Republican guy yells over the top of him is not displaying anything but bad manners.

And 'news shows' that spend half the show talking to people in the audience who clearly know nothing about what is going on in the world but found themselves in Atlanta with two hours to kill and decided to get themselves on TV... is again not 'attitude'.

BBC News rules.
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The fact that every insipid piece of shit reality TV show spawns half a dozen clones. Right after that Teen Idol shit went big, we got the same crap for the inbred country-loving crowd on Nashville star. So what's the next one? America's Supermodel, hosted by Tyra Banks (who will undoubtedly be one of a panel of three).

I want to take all of these shows, all of the morons who created them, appeared on them, even applied for them, and drop them on a desert island for a big Battle Royale 2003. And whoever the last man standing is - shoot them too.
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 6:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate Ben fucking Neiepioirenentye
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Ben
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

scott, you're just jealous of me. i'm the jew you wish you were. i'm angrier and jewier than you could ever hope to be.
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And fatter.
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Ben
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

and more stoned.
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The Guv'nor
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PostPosted: Tue May 20, 2003 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Scott's one made me laugh, 'cos I absolutely hate those sumbitches who block the right-hand side of the escalator (in some countries the left is the express lane, but here in Oz we do things our way).

So the other day I'm out with the new girlfriend, and she decides to stand next to me on the right-hand side of the escalator. Now I appreciate that's kind of cute and all, but I could see people starting to pile up behind her. I therefore gently but firmly moved her in front of me, since I'm the kind of guy who likes to practice what he preaches, and I could feel a wave of thanks radiating from the dudes stacked up behind. She, on the other hand, gave me a look that said my action would not be forgotten, even if we both lived to be a hundred. What's a man to do?

I hate the way that Sydney is now swamped with 40 kmh (that's 25 mph to you Yanks) speed limit signs for school zones on major roads, which means you have to somehow decelerate from 70 to 40 for a whole 200m, and now they're setting up fixed speed cameras to catch you if you don't. I reckon it's survival of the fittest, so if the little bastards get run over because they didn't look both ways it's better for society as a whole. Smile

Guv
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