eFilmCritic

David Cornelius · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:14 pm Post subject:

What, they don't have the Onion in the UK? (Also, how bad is your movie when passing it off as a Friedberg/Seltzer rip-off is a step up?)

Meanwhile, those Polish posters are awesome. But how disappointed would you be going in to see this only to find up seeing this?

David Cornelius · Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:31 pm Post subject:

Second from the left, two rows down. What the hell happened to Kelly LeBrock? Is she in a wind tunnel?

Rob Gonsalves · HBS Monkey Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 2024

David Cornelius · Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 10:46 pm Post subject:

I remember that poster well - but not her creepy mug on it. Perhaps my pubescent eyes were aimed elsewhere?

She's also on the bottom row of that DVD cover, getting the neutral image you want - even if she has a "hey, who farted?" look.

David Cornelius · Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:45 am Post subject:

GIANT CREEPY TWIN HEADS!!!!!!!

The way those boys look is just... unsettling.

David Cornelius · Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:57 pm Post subject:

I know the cover's trying to be tongue-in-cheek, and Cho's quote is meant as a joke. But I keep imagining that same quote on other DVDs. "So, Margaret, what did you think of Space Chimps?"

CharlesTatum · Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 1:51 pm Post subject:

Jack Sommersby · Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 2:00 pm Post subject:

They remind me of the evil tots in Village of the Damned! And also the equally-evil ones in 1980's The Children.

Shocked

David Cornelius · Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject:

Yes, please.

Jack Sommersby · Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 4:30 pm Post subject:

Hey, after seeing the godawful "The Last Shark" which features its title creature actually growling when above water, this new horror-shark flick looks "Jaws"-like in quality by comparison.

Erik The Movieman · Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:53 am Post subject:

The Most Inappropriate DVD Cover...EVER???!!!

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Jason Whyte · Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:45 pm Post subject:

Worst. Cover. EVER.
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Rob Gonsalves · HBS Monkey Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 2024

There's something hilariously oblivious about some of the "I Love the '80s" picks. Putting out Footloose and Some Kind of Wonderful and suchlike under that banner is one thing. Putting out Reds and Witness and Children of a Lesser God -- and The Accused -- under the same banner just because they're Paramount movies that came out between January 1980 and December 1989 is just full-retard.

Amusingly, The Accused isn't listed among "our favorite films of the '80s" on the official website. I wonder if someone complained.

The great thing, of course, is that the packaging (not to mention the '80s hairdos on Foster and McGillis) makes it look like, well, a harmless '80s flick, which means unsuspecting people with short memories will take it home and be traumatized by probably the most agonizing rape scene since I Spit on Your Grave.
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But I wish the public could, in the midst of its pleasures, see how blatantly it is being spoon-fed, and ask for slightly better dreams.

- Iris Barry, Let's Go to the Movies, 1926
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Shoot him again. His soul is still dancing.

Rob Gonsalves · HBS Monkey Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 2024

Picking on Seduction Cinema is real fish-in-a-barrel stuff anyway, but:

I often wonder why people bother with this softcore shit when there's perfectly good hardcore out there.
_________________
But I wish the public could, in the midst of its pleasures, see how blatantly it is being spoon-fed, and ask for slightly better dreams.

- Iris Barry, Let's Go to the Movies, 1926
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Shoot him again. His soul is still dancing.

mseaver · Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:35 pm Post subject:

Lost in Translation - Some of the most poorly-conceived movie posters ever.

Yeah, these aren't DVDs, but I don't think they're worth their own thread over in general movies.

Also, off a common theme in those... a buddy of mine pointed out that Polish movie posters are, in general, awesome. But widely varied.

Some are deeply messed up:

Some are really, really beautiful:

And some look like they were done by toddlers:

Bunches more over here.

admon · Joined: 06 Jan 2009 Posts: 3

Could this be one of the ugly DVD Covers..

David Cornelius · Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 12:28 am Post subject:

Sweet monkey Jesus, what the fudge is this:

And then, of course, there is this:

David Cornelius · Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:56 pm Post subject:

"Hmm. My 13-year-old daughter loves that Twilight thing, and this looks just like it. I'll buy it for her and we'll watch it tonight!"

(Edited: Whoops! Peter beat me to the joke.)

David Cornelius · Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:57 pm Post subject:

"Oh, look, honey, that guy from King of Queens has a movie where he likes football!"

hansekarl · Joined: 30 Jun 2010 Posts: 1 Location: united states

cool staff, thanks for sharing .

JaySeaver · Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 4:45 pm Post subject:

Hey, they're putting The Matrimony out on Blu-ray. I think a ghost story set in 1930s Shanghai will really stand out among the other horror movies, and...

God-damn it!
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Jack Sommersby · Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:29 pm Post subject:

Hey, how about DVD covers that pale by comparison to the stellar theatrical ones:

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Alex Paquin · Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:41 am Post subject:

From the "look who became famous" department:

In the film, she is second in billing, third in screen time, but you can hardly sell a film with "Mark Stevens" and "Patric Knowles" -- provided you can sell a film in the public domain that anyone can find online for free.

(Actually, it's much better than it might seem; it was directed by Edward Dmytryk, his first release after he was removed from the blacklist, with Tiomkin as composer.)