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Worst DVD Commentaries?

 
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the Grinch
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 3:00 pm    Post subject: Worst DVD Commentaries? Reply with quote

What are your nominations? One that comes to mind for me is the Resident Evil commentary. Not the best movie, sure, but I was hoping Paul WS Anderson would talk about aspects of making the movie...instead I got the bimbotronic duo of Milla and Michelle Rodriguez...they wouldn't shut up to let Anderson finish one sentence. Totally ruined my image of Milla Jovovich.
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Oz
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nic Cage doing the commentary on Sonny is one of the most boring times you'll ever have in front of a movie. In fact, listening to him drone on about how artistic he was trying to be (and not being) made me go from a cautious fan of the movie to actually disliking it.
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frankgrimes



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Resident Evil 2- Mila Jolvoich still sounds like an air head.
Bound- By the middle of the commentarie, I thought the Watchwoski brothers left
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natasha_theobald
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not the worst, but I've listened to more than one Christopher Guest commentary expecting laughs and getting, well, commentary. Confused
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anything by Rob Reiner. Seriously.
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Erik The Movieman
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 12:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try the Zucker/Abrahams on Top Secret. It's like they couldn't even be bothered which is odd considering how enjoyable the Airplane and Naked Gun tracks are.
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Charles Tatum



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The little seen Swedish erotica entitled "Inga." The elderly director is "helped" by his wife, who steps on everything he says and will not let him finish a thought.

Also, "Halloween." We couldn't get Debra Hill, John Carpenter, and Jamie Lee Curtis in a room together, so we get a cobbled-together commentary of the three that is the most awkward thing I have ever listened to.
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Oz
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 2:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, I hate when they do that! You're listening to someone talk about a scene, then suddenly it cuts to someone else, and it's obvious they're not in the same room... just sloppy!
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Lucas



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Totally agree with Oz. It's really awkward and choppy sometimes.

Once Upon A Time in the West does it well though, mixing in critics and filmmakers. The edited the commentary well, into episodes, so it makes sense. Carpenter does a better track on that film than he does for a lot fo his films.

Altman does either really good ones or really bad ones. The one for California Split is interesting because it seems like Segal, Gould, Altman and the writer hadn't seen each other since they made it. Only superficial things are revealed, however. Altman and Segal had had a terrible falling out in the 1970s and it's interesting to hear them say polite little things to one another.
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David Cornelius
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2005 5:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Return of the King cast commentary does a fine job of hiding the staples - even making fun of them. Listen for Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan (and sometimes Andy Sirkis) smart-assingly asking questions they know to be answered by another cast member from another recording session.

But anyway. Bad commentaries. Frank's right, the Resident Evil: Apocalypse is horrible (director what's-his-frick actually claims that the movies help the video game sales and create "a wonderful symbiosis!").

As mentioned in another thread, the Anchorman commetary is gawdawful.

And while nobody on the planet but me liked this movie, I was disappointed with the Gods and Generals commentary. A four-hour movie, and the director only fills about one hour tops. Lame.

Dave
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JBM...



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spider-Man.

There was one track with Sam Raimi and the co-producer (whose name escapes me), spliced with Kirsten Dunst and the producer (whose name also escapes me).

Dunst & Partner's track was completely useless. It was two hours of "Ooh, remember this, ____?" "Remember that, Kirsten?" "That was a tough day." With absolutely no elaboration. I wasn't expecting anything groundbreaking but the most informative thing they have to say is that the pattern of Peter Parker's wallpaper is actually little spiderwebs. Rolling Eyes
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Nick Sievers



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Farrelly Brothers do some pretty awful commentaries. "Oh this is my niece" "Now here is my sister" "This is my cousin's, nephew's dog". Lame

I haven't listened to it all but the Total Recall track is annoying, between Arnie saying things like "Dis is just so fantustic" and "Brilliunt" you have Paul explaining whats going on just in case you don't understand this highly complex movie Rolling Eyes
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the Grinch
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, the Conan commentary is money though: "Dis is de paht vhere Chames Earl Chones is HIPMOTIZING meee...."
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Kand El
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Conan commentary is one of the most fun ones I've listened to. I think the positive rapport between Milius and Arnold helped that one along. The highlight of the DVD, however, is the blooper reel featuring the wild dogs actually catching up to Conan, grabbing him, and pulling him down- I fell out of my chair laughing and almost brought my laptop with me when I heard Schwartzenegger say "AHHHH... Gahd Demmit!" On the other hand, however, I prefer the theatrical cut of the film- the add-ins of the collectors edition are not only unecessary, but one just flat out mows down James Earl Jones's climactic speech preferring instead to watch Conan and King Osric's daughter slinking around backstage. The power of Jones spurring his followers to burn the world is lost, and the audience does not get to see the scope of what Conan thwarts by destroying the head of the cult.

Oh. And um, just to get back on topic, the Robocop commentary was an unenjoyable experience to get through- one moment I am trying to decypher Verhooven who is better at filming satire than explaining it, and the next I have to sit through the world's oldest cinematographer who sounds like he just came off shooting an SS documentary in 1930 Germany. Really boring stuff contrasting what is easily Verhooven's greatest achievement- a few insights on Peter Weller's prep as a mime, and some funny stuff on how toxic meltdown guy will always be toxic meltdown guy no matter what he's in (which is true), but otherwise extemely forgettable and nod-inducing.
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David Cornelius
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sweet god... Just finished watching Taxi, and after I got all my brains shoved back into my head, I decided to watch one key scene with the commentary, just to find out what the hell anyone was thinking. And that's when I heard director Tim Story say this:

"Barbershop was more like a play. Barbershop was like Glengarry Glen Ross."

WHAT?????!!!!!!

(And I liked Barbershop, but Jeeeeeeeezus!)

Oh, and this guy's doing the Fantastic Four movie. Just to dash your hopes.

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Oz
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 2:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

FYI, the original Taxi movies (the French versions) are actually really pretty funny, and have some great stunt work. Well worth tracking down.

But oh, what a shock that the Queen Latifah version would suck.
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PaulBryant



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 5:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
"Barbershop was more like a play. Barbershop was like Glengarry Glen Ross."

WHAT?????!!!!!!

(And I liked Barbershop, but Jeeeeeeeezus!)

Oh, and this guy's doing the Fantastic Four movie. Just to dash your hopes.


Maybe he'll cliam that Fantastic Four was actually the working title for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf??
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CaptainFun



Joined: 10 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found David Fincher's commentary track on the Fight Club DVD to be a real snore. It's not that he doesn't have anything interesting to say, I guess that he's just not a very good speaker.

Hunter S. Thompson's commentary on the Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas Criterion Collection DVD however is a treat.
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UDM
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 4:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The track on Jerry Lewis's The Errand Boy is beyond useless. Lewis and some other guy just sit there watching the movie and chuckling at the jokes. Kinda like this:

(5 minutes of silence)

JERRY: Oh, I remember that actor.

(5 minutes of silence)

JERRY: (LAUGHS AT MILDLY WITTY VISUAL JOKE)

(5 minutes of silence)

JERRY: That's (insert name here). Remember him?

(Etc.)


UDM
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