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Big in Japan - ENGRISH
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 8:39 pm    Post subject: Big in Japan - ENGRISH Reply with quote

Okay, I've decided to change the thrust of this thread into a collection for my favorite Engrish sayings. Just keep scrolling down.
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Last edited by y2mckay on Fri Aug 01, 2003 12:21 am; edited 1 time in total
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Maegs
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey!!! Nothing wrong with 5' 2"


-M
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Maegs. Miss you too.
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Big Ole Badass Bob



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2003 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Son, if you're gonna be going there, then you'd better watch your back. I only say that, cause them magic-eyed Orientals are sneaky! One minute some dirty whore will be licking and sucking on your magic wand and rubbery sack of love, and the next.. you're waking up in some alley, your poop hole is bleeding, your wallet's been stolen, and to top it off.. you're missing your right leg. Sad

Okay, I can't blame them for the right leg, I lost that in the war with México, but one time I got into a fight with some of them Oriental ninjas, and one of them judo-chopped my wooden leg right in half. Of course, I shoved what was left of it up his tight, tool box, so it all worked out in the end. Very Happy

Bob's gonna miss you, but when you come back we're gonna go fishing. All you gotta do is bring back some magic-eyed midgets from over there, while you're visiting, that way we can toss them into the ocean.. Tiger Sharks love the taste of the Oriental's tiny, meaty ball sacks! Rolling Eyes

Bob's Quote of the Day:

"If you get stranded on some uncharted island in the middle of the ocean, and you happen to have a Mexican or two with you, feel free to slay them.. that way you've got yourself plenty of food." Wink
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2003 3:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

finally . . . someone around here gives me a proper send off.
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Destinee



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2003 7:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have a safe trip, Y2! Things NOT to do in Japan...

1. eat the food(REAL Chinese food sucks)
2. hook up with a Geisha(you may be allergic to the white make-up PLUS they'll spoil it for us U.S. wimen)
3. eat anything that barks
4. bring a camera(there are about 1 billion people there that own one. Maybe they'll let you borrow one of theirs)

Things TO do:
1. Have a shitload of fun
2. Come back to us safely
3. come back to us safely

smoochesoxoxox
Dest
Wink Wink Wink
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2003 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the advice, sweetheart, but I plan on eating nothing but native food while there (don't know how much of it will be Chinese, though). And if I get a chance to shag a geisha, I'm going to take pictures of the occasion with the camera I'm taking Wink

Mata ne!
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Destinee



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2003 11:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Thanks for the advice, sweetheart, but I plan on eating nothing but native food while there (don't know how much of it will be Chinese, though).


Duh? What was I thinking? See, I'm missing you already Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad


Dest Crying or Very sad
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Jack Sommersby
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2003 11:55 am    Post subject: ------------- Reply with quote

Don't cry. I'll be back.

So what's the good news?

Twisted Evil
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natasha_theobald
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2003 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to Japan as part of a student exchange one summer, quite a few years ago now. Not only was I tall, they liked to make fun of my big eyes. Little kids would use their fingers to widen their eyes at me, then run off laughing. I felt fairly conspicuous.
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Slyder
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2003 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob, the war with Mexico?

Christ, thats like 150something years ago, you really that old? Shocked

Oh, and have a good trip Bryan, bone a jap girl or two while you're there. Wink
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Big Ole Badass Bob



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2003 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Slyder - Well son, Bob's an old man, been around for a while. But this ain't the same war you're thinking of. Bob's had his own personal war going on with ole México since '71. I'll get them son'o'bitches yet. Twisted Evil

If I didn't have to wage wars with the dirty Brits, or those rat bastards up in Canada, then México would of been taken over, and ruled by me. Very Happy

Mexicans are easily taken care of, but its the British and the Canadians you have to watch out for. The Brits with their evil robot henchmen.. and the Canadians.. with their Army of Darkness. Which mainly consists of those so-called "hockey" players. They ain't athletes, their spies, trained soldiers.. mercenaries, boy! All apart of the Evil Empire of Canada. Evil or Very Mad

Uh-oh.. their onto me.. I better use code-talk.

The cow sings happily when it sees the full moon, but does that mean the whale eats fish on Tuesday?

Think about that, and get back to me. I gotta go fuck some of my dirty Mexican whores in their tight anal caves now.. dry of course. Wink
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Destinee



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2003 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Think about that, and get back to me. I gotta go fuck some of my dirty Mexican whores in their tight anal caves now.. dry of course.


Bob my love, just ONE day without booty banter? Please?????



Dest Embarassed
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Daddy Plaid



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2003 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big Ole Badass Bob wrote:
The cow sings happily when it sees the full moon, but does that mean the whale eats fish on Tuesday?

Your Mexican whore loves the site of your ass, but being as happy
as she is, and horny, its that time of the month for her, and you're
questioning yourself whether or not to get your redwings?????????
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Big Ole Badass Bob



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2003 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dest - Hey, whoa, woman! What you're asking outta Bob is virtually impossible.. cause Bob's whole life revolves around the booty. Okay, not whole life, just a whole lot of it does. Wink

I like you, you a good woman.. I'm gonna take you out to Pizza Hut next week. Very Happy And who knows.. maybe after a whole day of eating pizza, and drinking Hooch with Bob.. maybe you just might be willing to give in and experience the phenomena in my pants simply known as Bob-a-mania™. Twisted Evil

Daddy Plaid - Damn it boy, I can't get anything past you, can I!? You good! You're gonna make a damn good Whore Master some day.. I guarantee it! Wink
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Daddy Plaid



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2003 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

W.M.P.I.T.

Whore Master Plaid In Training Wink

...was watching Willy Wonka last night and was replacing
Candy Man with Daddy Plaid and singing along Shocked
Put me on American Idol Razz
whole brood of whores on that show.
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2003 2:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Back on topic:

THIS CITY FUCKING ROCKS.

There is no place like Tokyo in the world. I could never get bored here. I wouldn't have time (I could, however, go broke here). It's an intoxicating combination of the familiar and the completely alien, and I fucking LOVE it.

But damn, are my feet tired!

Haven't bagged my Geisha yet, but the Roppongi excursion is tonight. Good times ahoy!

P.S. - guess who happens to be one of the first Gaijin in the world to have seen Battle Royale 2: Requiem ? Review to come when I'm back home and not having to pay 15 yen a minute for internet access.

Y2mckay-san
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2003 3:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dude, that's awesome! Hope you're having a great time! Clearly you are.

Tell us all about the Japanese attractions...

McDonald's...Virgin Megastore....Target
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2003 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, on my way back today. Can't say as I'm thrilled to leave, because I've had a fan-fucking-tastic time. Unfortunately, the money's about run out and I have pesky things like a job and rent waiting back home. Still, I will be back to live here by next fall - even if I have to start my own outcall gaijin gigolo service.

Expect a massive feature article on the trip when I get back. Hopefully you'll find the reading a fraction as fascinating as I found the living.

Cheers!
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2003 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fashion wise, the thing that's all the rage in Tokyo is "Engrish" shirts - colorful t-shirts with sayings and slogans on them in English, which make little to no sense and are funny as fuck.

Here's a decent Collection of them here

Some personal favorites from the trip:

"New words from Heaven: It's Tuesday Night!" (When SNL and Billy Graham collide!)

"Morning Pussy" (And Ohayoo Gozaimuchomas to you, kitty kitty!)

"Everyone Must be Dreaming A Happy!" (Can't ask for much more than that!)

"Everything must be Activated" (So, must Everything be Activated before Everyone can Dream a Happy?)

And my favorite so far:

"No Worry! 0.0 Confidence!" (Now, if there were ever a time to worry, it seems that when you're at 0.0 Confidence would be that time.)

More to come as I pick the brains of my friends and see what they remember. My god, there's a fantastic coffee book table in here somewhere!

I LOVE the Japanese! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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Daddy Plaid



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2003 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not much about fashion...
but other than my fav "Flied Lice" line from Lethal gibson
was while playing 7 cards stud in Vegas I got some great
cards and the dealer said
"ow oooo Stay-rate frush"
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The Velvet Edge



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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2003 10:57 pm    Post subject: Japlish Reply with quote

Ha, my sister has been in Japan for 2 years teaching Engrish, and always has amazing stories. When she went back there last month after being home for 5 weeks, she had a hand-sized spider in her house. I hope you didn't come across any.

I can't remember too many of her t-shirt reports, but one that sticks in my mind was a pink one a little girl was wearing that said "FLESH MEMBER". Another was something like "Stepfather, let's wack!" She has a sweatshirt that says something like "The hand gives pleasure" right where it rides her butt.

Then there's the "Wet & Hard" hair gel, the "Horny Pack" face mask, and the "Asse" candy (chocolate, of course) that I've received as gifts. Oh, and who could forget the snack-bags of dried fish - looks like the stuff you feed your pet fish...eyeballs and all, so they can watch you while you eat them. (Do men like that?) She has also sent these in mini-squid or octopus form. Dried little things with tentacles. Yum!

She also was keeping a list of car names. Some I remember are: Naked; Lordly Chaser; Life; Saloon...gawd, there were so many more bizarre ones, and t-shirts too.

There was also "Fruit Shit" listed as a menu item for a special New Year's dinner in Hong Kong...who knew fruit had poopers?

But it can't be ALL bad, because there's a lot of Barbapapa paraphernalia available over there.
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Maegs
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2003 11:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Japlish Reply with quote

The Velvet Edge wrote:

But it can't be ALL bad, because there's a lot of Barbapapa paraphernalia available over there.



Holy Cow.

That brings me back! I remember watching Barbapapa in Switzerland when I was a kid, I loooovved it. Not as much as Scott loved the Osmonds, but close. I haven't been able to recall the name until you mentioned them, but the animations have been in my head forever.

-M
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2003 12:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What the hell is "Barbapapa"? is it some kind of "Hello Kitty" thing, or another of the countless gajillion anime shows they have over there?

And by the way, did ya'll know that they make a "Hello Kitty" vibrator? Shocked Damn, the Japanese are into some weird shit, but I love 'em anyway. Very Happy
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The Velvet Edge



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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2003 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's a Barbapapa page - it actually came from France, but you know how those Japanese love animation: http://wwwusers.imaginet.fr/~mhp/
Barbabeau looks like a kinky, dirty, artsy little sexpot:

And here's some first-hand Japan stuff from my sister's e-mails to share with you all:

- Car names: Beagle, Perky, Voxy, Runx, Canter Custom Guts, Homy, Cutie, Guppy, Bongo Brawny, That's

- Oh, I found some funny words I’d never seen before. There’s fukkyuu (restoration), fukyoo (slump), fukyuu #1 (diffusion) and fukyuu #2 (eternity). Mofu (blanket) has always made me laugh, too. And urine
(oo-ree-nay) means sale price.

- I found note paper with a photo of your average puppy on it and underneath it reads:

STAY QUIET
In my case, I’m often swimming the breast stroke in the sky.

- This was on the cover of a notebook here today: "While simple, old-fashioned, and tiny myself, you won't get tired of me easily because of my friendliness. So, let me stay with you for a long time."

- My friend bought a sweatshirt (a KIDS' sweatshirt) that says 'BLOW! Anybody, anytime!' and I saw a photo of a girl wearing a T-shirt that read,
simply, BITCH. And after years of studying English, they don't even understand the most basic stuff! They have NO IDEA what they are wearing. Yesterday I almost bought a shirt that just said 'Saucy' on it, and
there's also one that says 'they will stick it to each other with me.' Did I ever tell you that Singapore bans the import of Japanese clothing because of just this sort of thing?

- OK, I saw young girls wearing some very fucked up shirts. One adolescent had one that read in large letters FUCK HOUSE WORKS. Another of similar age had one that read I'M COCK with a lot of smaller writing underneath but I couldn't get close enough to read it. I did catch something about 'I am a Welshman' etc. It probably detailed how well-hung this Welshman was and provided sundry information about his sexual prowess.

- I ate raw deer and raw baby squid at a welcome party for my new supervisor. When a whole room of people is watching you and waiting for you to smile and say 'oishii!' (delicious) it's hard not to be a good sport.
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