Deep Impact

Reviewed By Chris Parry
Posted 08/29/98 04:40:22

"Like watching fish dry."
1 stars (Total Crap)

If you like Tea Leoni and think she's capable of acting her way out of a paper bag.... try the purple pills. They'll help.

What can be said that hasn't been said about Deep Impact already... it stinks? No. That's been said. It has nothing of merit at all? No. I'm sure someone has said that. In fact, the person behind me said that after five minutes. It has a moral we can all learn from? True, that hasn't been said... cos it's BOLLOCKS!

This movie is basically a formula that reads like so....

Get some people to run around while an asteroid pounds into earth, make the same buildings that got wrecked in Godzilla and Armageddon get wrecked again, throw in a star who REALLY needs some work (Tea) and spend 80% of the budget on effects.

It's boring, it's inane, it's the worst eight bucks you've spent since "Dr Dolittle" and at the end, as you pick the shards of popcorn from your gums, you'll wish you saw "Mafia" instead. It's just that bad.

What have we learned? We've learned that even if the entire eastern seaboard is obliterated by a thousand foot tidal wave, even if the blast is like a hundred nuclear bombs, even if the world looks at an end.... you only need to climb a hill with a motorcycle and everything will be okay.

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