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Overall Rating

Awesome: 6.06%
Worth A Look: 10.91%
Average: 5.45%
Pretty Bad: 16.97%
Total Crap60.61%

7 reviews, 123 user ratings

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by Scott Weinberg

"First, the good news: there's a leather outfit and a whip. Now for the bad:"
1 stars

Forgive me if I just don't buy what Halle Berry has been slinging these past few years. Though she suffered through an enjoyably campy Oscar Acceptance Speech for her resoundingly overrated work in "Monster's Ball", Halle Berry is not much more than eye candy with delusions of grandeur.

Let's not forget that this is an actress who, just one year prior to her well-publicized Oscar Win, snarfed up a huge little bonus in exchange for baring her bouncing a last-second "nudity will make this movie better" reshoot! And since the Oscar Win, Ms. Berry has: A) been served as a side dish of jiggle in a truly terrible James Bond entry, B) reluctantly honored her contract to play a supporting role in X-Men 2 (while demanding that her part be expanded), C) portrayed a shrink-gone-psycho in a commandingly forgettable horror flick, and now...this: .The Ultimate Prize for the swollen ego: lead role in a superhero movie. And yet my relative distaste for Halle Berry's acting skills has no bearing on the assertion that Catwoman is easily one of the shoddiest, stupidest, and most vanity-inspired pieces of studio flotsam in many a moon.

Much like Spider-Man 2 represents the picture perfect example of how a comic book can WORK on the big screen, this new Catwoman thing educates equally as well. It's the diamteric opposite of what you want a comics movie to be. Shallow, sparkly and painfully simplistic, Catwoman looks and feels like something culled together by a committee of greedy and inexperienced first-time producers. And horny 14-year-olds. That the advertising campaign focuses exclusively on Halle's hooters and hiney tells you everything you need to know about the movie. Everything other than the gal's firm, feline form takes a backseat to Ms. Berry's blatant self-adoration and neutered sexuality. (Gotta get that PG-13 rating, don't forget.)

Much has been made of this movie's troubled production and late-moment reshoots, but other films have withstood similar roadblocks and come out smelling a whole lot better than this goopy furball.

The plot is your standard-issue origin tale: a mousy doormat of a gal overhears something dastardly before she's cruelly killed by someone's nefarious henchman. Magic kitties bring her back to life, which logically means that Catwoman is...somehow...born! Toss in a chubby and perpetually wise-crackin' best friend, a mincing little gay guy to make the audience giggle, and a wholly unconvincing "love interest" subplot involving what's clearly the world's most obtuse police detective...

From there the material gets really ridiculous. It seems our resurrected cat girl has stumbled upon a truly devious plan, and one that could only be hatched by screenwriters who believe that Superman was a Saturday Morning Cartoon first and a comic book second. Apparently Kitty's old employer plans to take over the (cosmetics) world by introducing a new facial cream. Fascinating stuff, eh? But this facial cream can do lots of crazy things: if a woman uses it consistently, it literally makes her face younger. If a woman uses it and then stops, she grows horrible lesions and scabs all over her face. But if a woman uses it for a LONG time, it turns her face into an invincible mask of marble. And since we're talking about women who have marble faces, it should come as no surprise to learn that Sharon Stone is on hand as Head Villainess. Forget the battle scenes; Berry & Stone share bouts of banter that are more punishing and painful to behold than the entire Rocky series.

Put aside the utter ridiculousness of the plot itself or the overwhelmingly lifeless and banal exchanges of dialogue; ignore the movie's languid and lethargic narrative, the consistently limp acting performances and the clear cluelessness the director has regarding superheroes; overlook the whiplash-blur-smack approach taken in the over-choreographed and clumsy action sequences, and somehow struggle to get past Halle's atrociously campy line readings.... and you'll still be unable to find anything of quality hidden within this hollow shell of studio product.

The overall vibe of Catwoman is that of plain, simple laziness; the plot is a third-generation Spider-Men retread, the FX are glossy and bereft of wonder, the actors seem bored to the point of coma. Heck, the title character herself is 40% CGI, 40% stuntwoman and 20% overlauded Oscar Winner wedged into 15% of a Halloween costume.

I expected the movie to be campy, silly and perhaps a bit entertaining via uninentional means; what I didn't expect was something this monumentally inept. This is a jump-on-the-hot-bandwagon sort of vanity project in every respect, and one of the most worthless studio offerings of the year.

As for Halle, here's hoping she gets back to her late-90s form, when she was stealing scenes in supporting roles and snatching spotlights in cable movies. Mega-high-profile projects like Catwoman only draw attention to her limitations...but, yeah, she sure is pretty. Which, I guess, is more than enough these days.

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originally posted: 07/23/04 14:19:40
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User Comments

9/08/18 life-tupper - самые свежие новости красоты,диет,рецепт 2 stars
12/28/17 Dane Youssef If this thing was more like BATMAN RETURNS and less like SUPERGIRL... Made for MST3K. SHUN. 1 stars
10/09/17 Бесплатная доска объявлений Webdoska — это сайт, где 2 stars
5/09/17 sergtovar Интернет-магазин SergTovar по продажам автонаполняющ 2 stars
12/22/16 Ifvremya Cамые свежие новости о главных событиях власти,по 2 stars
5/16/16 domnazavist Самые лучшие курсы обмена денег 2 stars
3/19/16 Ifvremya Cамые свежие новости о главных событиях власти,по 2 stars
3/18/16 domnazavist Самые лучшие курсы обмена денег 2 stars
1/22/16 plvuyjrkg USA 4 stars
1/08/16 David Hollingsworth these claws are pretty dull 1 stars
8/23/15 Lbvfittf WfDEVy Medical marca vs security mg and card generic net contra cialis help contro master., 5 stars
7/24/15 kjvewghldea USA 4 stars
7/19/15 cialis toulouse USA 2 stars
11/15/14 Morris What's the last date I can post this to to arrive in time for Christmas? <a href=" h 2 stars
11/10/14 Connie Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? <a href=" htt 5 stars
10/24/14 Juan Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? <a href=" ">admini 4 stars
9/15/14 wes Attributing negative reviews of this film to racism might be the worst thing I've ever seen 1 stars
3/23/14 Robert I liked it. Not a great movie, but worth watching. 4 stars
1/18/14 Roger Tompkins Not a film wanna-be aficionado, just a guy who loves a film that keeps my attention. 5 stars
11/22/13 John Men rate it poorly because the "good guy" doesn't get the cat in the end. 4 stars
6/02/13 Magenta Fantasies It's not a faithful adaptation, but it's a very enjoyable movie in its own right. 4 stars
5/28/13 RIc F**K EVERYONE, I LOVE THE MOVIE!! 5 stars
9/22/12 Quigley Truly one of the worst films ever made. It's a great education on how NOT to make a movie. 1 stars
11/25/11 Kitty Boo Loved it! 5 stars
7/29/11 ROBERTO D OCHOA i LOVED IT. 4 stars
2/20/11 Ark Giant turd, the finale fight scene with her and Stone wasn't too bad! And wtf with the cat? 2 stars
2/04/11 man horrible 1 stars
3/16/10 P.N. Guin It's great! 5 stars
1/10/10 Charlotte O I really liked this movie. What's up with all the bad reviews?? 4 stars
11/25/09 chake comment2 <a href=""> </a> 3 stars
8/21/09 cousen01 www xxbb com 5 stars
8/19/09 daria sgJ97l Gra7noI59Unral92Bb7wf 3 stars
7/21/09 boris comment3, 3 stars
6/05/09 art KITTY LITTER!,that's what this film is!,PURE KITTY LITTER! 1 stars
5/11/09 chris leasmith IS THIS REVIEW A JOKE!!! ITS BAD, REALLY BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
4/05/09 Alfonso Turnage I must admit I liked Elektra better than I eventually liked Catwoman, but I loved this . . 4 stars
8/21/08 Shaun Wallner This one was kinda boring. 1 stars
8/15/08 AnonAnonAnon Wow... good job turning this into a racial issue with the last sentence. 1 stars
7/27/08 JoJo i loved and i ve watched it 90 times!!!!!! 5 stars
6/21/08 David V I should've watched my neighbor's vacation videos instead. 1 stars
6/09/07 Danielle Ophelia "Halle Berry is not much more than eye candy with delusions of grandeur." Thank you, Scott 1 stars
4/23/07 David Risser The villainess looked so fake. 2 stars
3/20/07 dude terrible 1 stars
2/19/07 Dark Enchantress I hated this girl as catwoman! If i could give it a "zero" star, i would! Horrible plot! 1 stars
12/22/06 David Pollastrini HORRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE 2 stars
10/02/06 William Goss Doesn't the Geneva Convention prevent people from enduring things like this? 1 stars
4/06/06 Troy M. Grzych A comic book film that does not stay true to it's roots...will not have fans. 2 stars
4/01/06 Thomas Semesky The movies is silly, a total waste of talent. 1 stars
3/28/06 Brian Meyer Like Nostradamus, I fortold doom. And DAMN was I right!!! Halley Berry won an oscar? 1 stars
11/26/05 cr halle berry play sexy and cool catwoman but the story was boring and lame and cgi overdone 3 stars
11/21/05 Steve Michaud And who said this was a comic book movie? 1 stars
11/07/05 LP Quagmire The most underrated comic book movie ever. Halle, you go, girl! 5 stars
11/01/05 millersxing written by circus cats trained by Siegfried & Roy (explains the whip/leather fixation, no?) 1 stars
10/14/05 Georgie Best Being stapled to the floor whilst being eaten by your cat is more fun. 1 stars
9/21/05 Jonathon Holmes what a laughable piece of shit 1 stars
8/01/05 R ....................pffff, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 1 stars
7/23/05 Duffyboy666 A step-by-step guide how to NEVER produce a comic flick. Shite. 1 stars
7/19/05 Brandy Harrington NOT 1 PERSON HAS RATED IT AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
6/20/05 Manu Ginobli just look at some catwoman porn instead. (it exsists, check it out) 1 stars
6/14/05 i am god i would rather take a shit 1 stars
5/20/05 susan varney even halle said it sucked 1 stars
3/29/05 Vince Only good thing in this pile of shite is Hale in leather. 1 stars
3/26/05 Denise ok 3 stars
3/22/05 craig varney if not for halle berry totally unbearable 1 stars
2/24/05 ELI So god awfully stupid it's funny. If I saw it in theaters, I would've laughed more 1 stars
2/17/05 Cody a average movie with cool character, halle is pretty, but not best catwoman 3 stars
2/07/05 Kenneth Helmick Hey, Steel was awesome! 1 stars
2/05/05 Amy Bradshaw Not as bad as people make it sound, it was entertaining enough, but just that. 3 stars
2/02/05 Lynde Foy total embarrassment to filmmaking--Berry should be ashamed of herself 1 stars
2/01/05 Danita Berg Wow....I've had more fun washing my cat. 1 stars
2/01/05 Robert Pfeifer the worst movie I've seen since... Batman And Robin!! Why did they even bother? 1 stars
1/30/05 bongeezer Halle Berry with a whip... And I was still bored! That's a bad movie. 2 stars
1/30/05 Caroline I saw this movie 2x (inafluke), and I was so bored the 2nd time, I threw twizzlers. :) 2 stars
1/30/05 Fred Pellerito Should have save their money and made it a cartoon instead 1 stars
1/30/05 dana hammell I enjoyed this movie 4 stars
1/29/05 terri shaw Oh wekk what do I know I liked it and could watch it with my kids ! No nightmares here. 4 stars
1/25/05 tatum If only the director had managed to stage a coherent shot 1 stars
1/19/05 ALDO crap story..and way 2 much pop music 2 stars
1/19/05 American Slasher Goddess Painfully awful 1 stars
12/26/04 Louie What were they thinking when they made this mess? 1 stars
12/13/04 Vince The beginning was not that bad... then it went downhill, fast 2 stars
10/30/04 Scott Roen I enjoyed this, but mostly because I didn't build my expectations up 3 stars
10/15/04 Regina George didn\'t really survive the school bus accident Unlike the Michelle Pfeiffer version, at least it tells a coherent story. 3 stars
9/13/04 the bride excuse me while I go and slit my wrists for being STUPID enough to see this. This is fucked 1 stars
9/05/04 johnnyxxx oh my, I thot it was a TV commercial 1 stars
8/27/04 Mike Stanbridge The DVD will probably come in the Batman Begins action figure releases just to get rid of t 1 stars
8/25/04 K Man plop 1 stars
8/16/04 McGraw Cat Scratch Fever that feels like AIDS. 1 stars
8/13/04 lawhog44 Ultimate blackmail: "My way, or the Garfield/Catwoman double feature." Kill. Me. Now. 1 stars
8/12/04 Ganglia damn... just... damn. download it and laugh your ass off 1 stars
8/11/04 f up Halley Berry is overrated, and is full of herself, has a big camel-toe in this 1 stars
8/11/04 Who Cares? There's a special hell for freaks who liked this movie!! 1 stars
8/10/04 QT The Bruce Lee suit as in Kill Bill...why? 1 stars
8/10/04 McGraw HAH! AHAHAH!!! HAAAAAAAHAHA...seriously, folks. It sucks. 1 stars
8/03/04 Uncle Salty I'd rather pound my balls flat with a splinterred wooden mallet than see it again. 1 stars
8/03/04 Matt Thiel Lame 2 stars
8/02/04 Ann Total Crap. I have never left a movie before it is over, but this one did it to me. 1 stars
7/31/04 arctic What was the point besides getting to war the tight outfit? 2 stars
7/29/04 Nikolai A non pretentious popcorn flick ok soundtrack effects tasty eyecandy bring a chick 4 stars
7/29/04 NiraliKumar Close to the comic book, better read it instead of watching it. Nice effects tho. 2 stars
7/28/04 Mike Devans weak 2 stars
7/28/04 WES NILES I LOVED IT! ...I laughed a little, and I cried a little. what more can one ask? 1 stars
7/27/04 Brad What a waste of my time 1 stars
7/27/04 J.D. Semlow Yeah, what they said! 1 stars
7/27/04 paks Not fit to be used as kitty litter 1 stars
7/27/04 robert berkoff another gigli 1 stars
7/26/04 this bitch won an oscar? Ive heard they already started to film part 2! 1 stars
7/26/04 Spay this cat! This morning my cat coughed up a disgusting furball more entertaining than this SHIT movie. 1 stars
7/26/04 Katie this movie is terrible 1 stars
7/25/04 Realitik Ashley Judd was smart to turn down this absolutely terrible role... not even worth renting! 1 stars
7/25/04 Drew-P Halle is hot, but not hot enough to sit through that. 2 stars
7/25/04 AK47 "Oops, my bad". Fuck you Halle and everybody involved in this POS. 1 stars
7/25/04 Conor Great awful 1 stars
7/24/04 Atanu Halle berry was never an actress. That she got an oscar is a travesty. 1 stars
7/24/04 tank1229 save your money 1 stars
7/24/04 Christina neuter this pussy 1 stars
7/24/04 Brian is DC doomed to an eternity of crappy hero movies? 1 stars
7/23/04 Mix Master Mason Turd City! Millions of dollars down the tube, should have been direct to DVD. 1 stars
7/23/04 Anthonyk Check this one for Fleas - DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY! 1 stars
7/23/04 Scytherius Warner Bros burns $100 million on the corner. Horrid. 1 stars
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  23-Jul-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 18-Jan-2005



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