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1 review, 1 rating

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Make a Wish
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by Brian McKay

"How about, 'I wish this had been a better movie?'"
2 stars

A good premise is enough to get your foot in the door . . . but it may not be enough for someone to take your coat and offer you a seat. MAKE A WISH certainly has a premise rife with entertaining possibilities - a group of attractive lesbians on a camping trip who must contend with a jealous boyfriend, horny crossbow-toting rednecks, and a slasher on the loose. And, of course, with their own catty behavior and libidinous desires.

"Lesbians, a camping trip, and an axe-murderer? Sign me up", I said. After all, the possibilities for gore,girl-girl tittilation, and camp value were endless. Alas, what I got was something akin to Friday the 13th, as presented by the Lifetime channel during pride week.

Make a Wish centers around Susan (Moynan King), a tough-talking, slightly butch, and not at all unattractive lesbian who is going on a birthday camping trip with six of her oldest lesbian friends - all of whom she has been lovers with over the years, at one time or another. Even though most of them don't really get along with each other that well, it doesn't stop them from showing up for the traditional outing (no pun intended), or from throwing down in the woods for the frequent makeout session. In fact, the average conversation usually ends with two of the lesbians exchanging sudden longing glances before running off behind the nearest tree for a spirited bout of tongue mashing. Although making a porno was apparently not the filmmaker's intent, judging by the dearth of actual nudity or sex scenes, I have, in fact, seen lesbian pornography in which the characters' come-hitherness was more subtle.

Which isn't to say that there aren't some laughs to be gleaned along the way, whether it be from the constant pair-offs that only seem to be missing a "wocka-wocka-wocka-wocka" guitar riff, or the occasional line of dialouge that's so bad, it's genius.

"I don't like to see ladies bein' bothered by people who are bothering them. It's . . . bothersome.

Unfortunately, there's a lot more dialogue like this line, said by the naive wiccan lesbian:

"It's not witchcraft! It's a healing witchual . . . I mean ritual!" (and as bad as that line is, it gets used TWICE!).

Another problem with the characters in Make a Wish is that they feel more like a potpourri of sapphic stereotypes than actual people. Besides Susan, I quickly forgot the other character's names and began to distinguish them simply as "Naive wiccan lesbian, militant vegan mountain biking lesbian, Older cheatin' lesbian with hot young trophy lesbian girlfirend, 'reformed' lesbian with the jealous open shirted white trash boyfriend" etc. Even for what is essentially a low-budget slasher flick with an all-girl twist, there's a disappointing lack of character development. Add to the mix the aforementioned jealous boyfriend, and a private detective whose presence is never adequately explained, and you have a schizophrenic film that vacillates between dull lesbian relationship issues, and the odd random killing. Top it all off with a bland script and lackluster production values, and a few sex scenes that are even tamer than the typical post-midnight Cinemax fare, and you're left with a film that exists merely to pad the schedule of a Gay and Lesbian film festival.

ultimately, MAKE A WISH isn't a horrible movie, and there's still plenty of room in the world for a fun, campy horror flick with a "girl (on girl) power" twist. Alas, MAKE A WISH was not that film, and left me wishing that either something interesting would happen, or that the DVD would just skip to the end.

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originally posted: 09/01/04 14:16:36
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User Comments

9/03/04 Impey this waws awsome 5 stars
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