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Overall Rating

Awesome: 3.03%
Worth A Look: 9.09%
Average: 30.3%
Pretty Bad51.52%
Total Crap: 6.06%

3 reviews, 15 user ratings

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Mr. 3000
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by EricDSnider

"A good first draft. When's the final draft coming in?... Oh... Really? Wow."
3 stars

I write a weekly column called "Snide Remarks." It is supposed to be funny. The way I usually write it is, on the first draft, I'll just say whatever I have to say in whatever words come to mind. This usually isn't very funny. So on the second draft, I pause after each sentence I've written and see if there's some way of rephrasing it, or something I can add, that would inject some humor. First draft gets the structure down, second draft puts the funny in.

"Mr. 3000" looks like it was the first draft. They came up with a good idea for a comedy and wrote all the dialogue and action necessary to tell the story, but forgot to go back through and make it funny. How embarrassing for them, to see the film in theaters and realize, "Oh, crap, we weren't done, were we?" Once I accidentally submitted a review that still had blank parentheses (______) where I meant to go back and put in an actor's name, and it made it into the paper that way. So I know how the "Mr. 3000" writers must feel.

Bernie Mac plays Stan Ross, a major league baseball player who retired the day he got his 3,000th hit. He was tired of the game and figured 3,000 would be a high enough record to get him into the Hall of Fame, which was all he really wanted.

Ten years later, while resting on his laurels and governing a series of "Mr. 3000"-themed businesses in his native Milwaukee, he still isn't in the Hall of Fame, and he's bitter about it. Seems he underestimated the role "character" plays in the voting, and Stan was a first-class jerk before he retired. (Well, since then, too, but it doesn't matter as much now.)

And now he has more problems: Three of his 3,000 hits didn't happen. There was a miscount. He only has 2,997, and that's not nearly as impressive a number. And sure enough, when the Hall of Fame committee meets after this revelation is made, he gets even fewer votes than before. He needs those three hits. Obviously, he'll have to come out of retirement and get them.

So it's a perfectly decent idea for a light comedy, as you can see, and Bernie Mac has charisma to spare. Part of the film's trouble, though, is in not letting him be himself. Stan Ross is such a self-centered creep prior to his inevitable change of heart that we can't like him. He's still not a team player, he berates his new teammates constantly, and he complains about everything like a whiny schoolboy, and not in a way that's funny or curmudgeonly. A Bernie Mac we can't like is a Bernie Mac we can't watch.

The film is the epitome of blandness. It was directed by Charles Stone III, who directed 2002's "Drumline," a film I did not see but which I understand to have been full of energy and charm. "Mr. 3000" is quite the opposite. It belongs to that rare category of film that I hesitate to call "bad" because that implies it was trying to be good, and I don't think it was. It's not that the jokes aren't funny. It's that they aren't THERE.

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originally posted: 09/25/04 13:05:54
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User Comments

12/05/08 Shaun Wallner This movie was stupid! 2 stars
7/06/06 Graham Mason Sort of Ok without being exciting. 3 stars
11/14/05 Sir Spam-a-lot Ending was a complete rip off of MAJOR LEAGUE (a GOOD baseball flick) 3 stars
9/01/05 ES Good movie, strong message about team spirit and loyalty 4 stars
8/09/05 Bad Critic This movie makes me lose my faith in Bernie Mack. First Guess Who, and then this?! 2 stars
6/01/05 leinink Can you spell FORMULA? Absolutely no depth to the characters. 2 stars
4/04/05 Dan Funny and entertaining, and that's all it's supposed to be EricD you fucking prick. 5 stars
4/03/05 J Mr. 3000 is good, but needs 3000 more jokes! 3 stars
3/26/05 Denise cute 3 stars
2/23/05 Joseph Venanzi 3000? That's how many people saw this, right? 2 stars
2/05/05 Susan Chamberlain Pretty good. I would watch it again. Once. 4 stars
10/01/04 ownerofdajoint if you're a bernie mac fan go see this movie 4 stars
9/26/04 Mark This movie was just lousy, no respect for bernie mac anymore. 1 stars
9/24/04 Sarcastro 2997 hits would still get you into the HOF. This movie doesn't know baseball OR funny. 1 stars
9/20/04 ajay advertised as a silly comedy, but it's waaay more serious then that. 2 stars
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  17-Sep-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 01-Feb-2005



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