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Overall Rating

Awesome: 21.5%
Worth A Look30.84%
Average: 14.02%
Pretty Bad: 3.74%
Total Crap: 29.91%

3 reviews, 89 user ratings

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Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
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by EricDSnider

"The franchise could not be saved. In fact, I'm not even sure they tried."
1 stars

It is a small comfort that after the tedious cinematic enema known as “Halloween 3: Season of the Witch,” Part 4 in the series brings back the original villain. I say it is a small comfort because while Part 4 is better than Part 3, it is still worse than, say, being bitten in the retina by fire ants.

I can picture director Dwight H. Little being jazzed at the chance to direct “Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers” -- the film that would put the franchise back on track. He thinks, “I’ve got to make it really scary! How do I do that? Ooh, look, a butterfly!” And he’s sidetracked, and he winds up making the film without ever stopping to consider how to go about bringing terror into it.

As a result, we have a film that is virtually terror-free, as harmless, bland and ineffective as anything ever produced by Disney’s live-action department.

It begins on Oct. 30, 1988. Michael Myers, who was killed in a fire at the end of Part 2, apparently was not killed in a fire at the end of Part 2 after all, though he was badly injured. He has been virtually comatose since then, and his muscles surely have atrophied due to underuse. So while being transferred to another hospital, he crushes an attendant’s head with his bare hands, kills the other medical personnel, and escapes. (Why was he being transferred? So he could escape, apparently.)

His escape fast reaches the melted ears of Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence), who also was killed in a fire at the end of Part 2 but who also apparently was not killed in a fire at the end of Part 2 after all, though he was badly injured. His gruesome face is even more gruesome now, what with the burn marks all over it, and he walks with a cane. But he is single-minded in his determination to stop Michael Myers from killing again.

Like a homing pigeon, Michael heads for his hometown of Haddenfield, Ill., where we have already met his niece. She’s a 7-year-old named Jamie (Danielle Harris), and she’s a basket case waiting to happen. Her mother was Laurie Strode, heroine of the first two films, but she and unnamed Dad died 11 months ago. Now Jamie lives with a foster family named Carruthers, led by two ineffective parents and a teen-age daughter named Rachel (Ellie Cornell). It is Rachel who has to baby-sit Jamie most often, though she’d rather be off fornicating with her tool boyfriend Brady (Sasha Jenson), who in the meantime is doin’ Rachel’s slutty friend Kelly (Kathleen Kinmont), who is the sheriff’s daughter.

Whew. Life is not easy for Jamie. She’s tormented by Michael-centric nightmares, and her classmates ridicule her for being the niece of a maniac. The movie loses all credibility here, because in real life, having a killer for an uncle would make you coolest kid in school. (The kids also make fun of her for being an orphan, though, which seems reasonable.)

Next thing you know, the movie puts the words “October 31, 1988” on the screen, followed by the helpful clarification, “Halloween,” in case you didn’t know Oct. 31 was Halloween. Michael arrives in town and kills a few folks, notably a power-plant employee named Bucky, whose death causes a power outage. Creepy Dr. Loomis is not far behind his quarry, and he warns the local police that Michael is surely in town. For some reason, they believe him and take assertive action, which made me wonder if I’d somehow put the wrong movie in by mistake. Since when do cops listen to anybody?

Anyway, there’s killing and chasing and running and screaming and a gross sex scene between Brady and Kelly who of course get killed later as punishment for their deeds. When the patrons at a local bar get wind of what’s afoot, they shape themselves into a drunken posse, led by the mysterious Earl, a character who is called by name several times, but whom I could never pick out of the crowd onscreen. A gaggle of portly men in flannel shirts standing around with shotguns all look alike. Anyway, the posse’s primary function is to accidentally kill innocent people, including the ill-fated Ted Hollister. “Well, s***, Earl, it’s Ted Hollister,” someone says ruefully upon discovering who they shot instead of Michael Myers. But let us not mourn Ted Hollister, for he is in a better place now.

It eventually becomes clear that Michael is hunting Jamie specifically, as he has a curious inclination to kill every relative he can locate. The Myers family reunion is, one suspects, a barrel of laughs. At one point, Dr. Loomis begins protecting little Jamie himself, which I thought would make a remarkable sitcom: “The Half-Burned Old Grump and the Traumatized Little Girl.” It would be along the lines of “Love, Sidney” or “Punky Brewster.”

The movie limply continues the story established in the first two films without adding anything new or stylish. None of the deaths is particularly gruesome or clever, and goodness knows there are no surprises in the plot. Until the end, that is, when Jamie touches Michael’s somewhat-dead body and gets evil all over herself and becomes the new Michael, or something like that. All I know is, it makes Dr. Loomis scream like a girl, which is a fitting conclusion to any movie.

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originally posted: 05/25/02 07:34:26
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User Comments

2/21/17 morris campbell a nice try one is still the best friday the 13th sux 3 stars
12/11/12 Jamie Boring. 1 stars
10/31/12 KeVin Has such a Halloween ambience that you can smell the wet autumn leaves and just go with it! 4 stars
4/06/12 SEAN DUTRA good and likeable but thin. uses atmosphere and suspense. my favorite sequel 4 stars
7/10/10 art FRIDAY THE 13TH BURRIES ALL THE halloween flick's! 1 stars
6/21/10 Sarah Shit. III was better and should've ended there. 1 stars
1/25/10 art FRIDAY the 13th's JASON VOORHEES makes you FORGET ABOUT MICHEAL MEYERS! 1 stars
7/02/09 Fuck You Tasteless Plaebians You are all fucking retards. Absolutely terrible. 1 stars
2/17/07 David Pollastrini 'bout time he got back! 5 stars
8/09/06 Doreen AWESOME!!! 5 stars
5/16/06 blarginbadigalnohif The best HAlloween movie 5 stars
1/04/06 kr my favorite halloween movie, believable actors, and it is a great follow up to the 1st one 4 stars
11/24/05 cr a great sequel to the first halloween and very suspenful and great chase scenes 4 stars
11/15/05 Jeff Pallo Halloween 4 is the best sequel since Halloween 2 !!!! 5 stars
10/26/05 Waka Waka FRIGEN SHWEET 5 stars
10/16/05 Darren O A decent sequel that uses atmosphere and suspense well, though stretches plot credibility 3 stars
7/19/05 Brandy Harrington Gay. 1 stars
12/21/04 Lucas Stensland Eh 2 stars
11/17/04 peter dunlop absolutely brilliant 5 stars
7/31/04 jmsynth Slow to start, but great suspensful last half-hour 3 stars
7/24/04 Phoenix II Pretty good, and I agree with every word the American Slasher Goddess say. She rocks! 4 stars
7/08/04 Denise it continues the fun of halloween 4 stars
7/02/04 American Slasher Goddess The best sequel besides Part 2 4 stars
6/25/04 josh puckett it cool 5 stars
6/19/04 Jesse Hertz It was perfectly directed 5 stars
6/07/04 Ryan Clark Better than most of the sequels, but the series should have ended at Halloween 3. 3 stars
5/18/04 crisis this movie is so good it makes me see michale in my dreams. 5 stars
5/13/04 Me Loved it when he squeezed the fat guys face off 4 stars
4/16/04 A Reader Liked "Halloween 3" better, but Ellie Cornell anchors this film, and is lovely to look at. 4 stars
4/09/04 kevin watts horrer very horrile 1 stars
3/26/04 Amy A must see for any Michael Myers fan 4 stars
3/18/04 rachel burke its a little repetitive die already 3 stars
3/17/04 PAYNE_KillerZ Not bad... Go Michael Myers! Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
3/10/04 kelly its cool but halloween 3 stinks cause it got nuthing to do with michael myers 4 stars
12/26/03 Sara Good, but could have been better 4 stars
11/29/03 john it has its moments but it also makes you long for the first two movies in the series 3 stars
11/28/03 Sara I think this film is like all the other's,there all briliant and michael myer's rock's. 5 stars
11/01/03 American Slasher Goddess A huge improvement over 3, it's the second best sequel after 2. 4 stars
10/18/03 Littlepurch Having not seen ay of the other films, i found this one just weird! Pleasence was good tho 3 stars
10/10/03 Erik Van Sant Best sequel of the series. Danielle Harris carried this movie. Worst design for Myers mask. 4 stars
9/01/03 cody the strongest halloween sequel besides part 2 and it is scary and awesome 4 stars
7/30/03 Jake Laughable, this is one of the weakest movies I have ever seen. "No! No! No!" - Dr. Loomis. 1 stars
7/22/03 Double G This was a good return for Micheal Myers, but a bad story. 3 stars
6/09/03 Gary D good for a fourth entry 4 stars
4/17/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik Bland, lame, and stupid. 1 stars
1/25/03 M.C. They couldnt' have thought of a better way to bring Myers back, Awesome Film, must have DVD 5 stars
8/17/02 Scott Forget #3 ever happened. watch this. 4 stars
8/16/02 Joe Calio Feels empty without Jamie Lee...but not a total loss...the film is moody & creepy at times. 4 stars
8/16/02 Shaun after H3, this movie is more than welcome 4 stars
7/08/02 RAJIV BROTHERS 5 stars
6/01/02 I'm in (L) with a Jedi probably the worst one in the series (except for 6) 2 stars
5/26/02 Charles Tatum The best "Halloween" sequel, which ain't saying much 3 stars
4/16/02 Kelly "Jamie's an orphan! Jamie's an orphan!" Shut up brats! I don't care. The movie sucked! Bad! 1 stars
4/04/02 cat I will praise all Halloween's til the day I die (even the crappy one with the baby) 5 stars
3/31/02 Film Guy This movie is no Sequel, this movie is a piece of trash 2 stars
2/28/02 Chowie Lets kill the bastards who made this almighty piece of shit 1 stars
2/03/02 Stuart Richards The best of the sequels, with characters you acually give a fuck about!!! 5 stars
12/15/01 Peter Herman more suspense than other sequels 5 stars
12/13/01 ben wasden Michael Myers' return is unfortunately pretty dull 1 stars
11/23/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best one! yet! good script, kick ass acting and best of all Michael is still alive!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
10/31/01 Jake The director made Free Willy 2 as well as this crap! Thats why it's worse than imaginable! 1 stars
10/31/01 Henry Ginsberg It really wasn't that bad.Especialy when compaired to the other halloween sequels. 3 stars
8/12/01 Al Vap Yeah, Im having a heart attack at how bad this movie is! makes the F13TH series look good!! 1 stars
8/07/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) The ending almost gave me a heart attack, + the music in the credits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 stars
8/06/01 E-Funk Kinda creepy. Danielle Harris is excellent...Myers mask is only complaint. 5 stars
8/02/01 Elgyn Very good sequel. Cool mood & atmosphere. 4 stars
7/10/01 JT Brilliant comedy 4 stars
4/13/01 LiL This movie didn't have what it takes. Stupid storyline, wheres Jamie Lee Curtis? 2 stars
3/26/01 Frank Why are they all talking like hillbillies?How did Michael get in the locked house?A chimney 1 stars
3/22/01 Sthenno An absolute failure!Bad script,acting,& plot holes you could drive a truck through!Awful! 1 stars
3/13/01 Jake This was a dull movie with unscary seens. Also bad acting -music and story. 1 stars
3/09/01 melay I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CO 5 stars
12/12/00 ashi toledano excellent 5 stars
12/05/00 Max This movie ruled it was my seconed favorite. 5 stars
6/26/00 AaronZombie Great sequel! Not the best, but far from the worst(Halloween:H20). 5 stars
6/08/00 Bender Don't try that Halloween shit with me. One of the better of the series 4 stars
6/03/00 Josh Smith Much, much, much better than I expected. Up there with the original 4 stars
3/02/00 Kyle Broflovski Oh...he's back!! And...same-old same-old. *stoned smile* Okay 3 stars
12/08/99 dog they should have put Michael in prison 4 stars
11/10/99 Gary Durso Some scary scenes.....see it! 4 stars
3/07/99 KK Dusenbury Copys from F13th in some of the deaths but is a great movie. 4 stars
3/03/99 Rachel I thought this was by far the best Halloween sequel. 4 stars
12/20/98 mike it's ok...better than 3, 5 and 6 anyway 3 stars
10/15/98 {{{OZ}}} Rare for a third sequel to not completely suck ass, but this doesn't. 3 stars
10/15/98 Bluntman It has the mood, but the material stinks. 3 stars
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  21-Oct-1988 (R)
  DVD: 25-Jul-2006

  03-Nov-1989 (18)

  09-Feb-1989 (M)

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