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Overall Rating

Awesome: 4.82%
Worth A Look: 8.43%
Average: 18.07%
Pretty Bad: 21.69%
Total Crap46.99%

7 reviews, 41 user ratings

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by Collin Souter

"That pretty much describes the year we've been having."
1 stars

For too long now, the studios have been cutting the balls off the horror genre in order to make it possible for the young kids to gain admittance into PG-13 little-kid thrillers. Movies such as The Grudge, The Ring, Boogeyman, Darkness and Alien vs. Predator have been too light on the gore, too long on the boredom and too castrated for the hardcore. I know story comes first and none of that should matter, but it nevertheless reeks of blatant marketing strategies. Horror has never been about marketing to a demographic. It’s about delivering the goods to the fans. Sam Raimi delivers. Lions Gate delivers. Almost every zombie film in the past two years has delivered. And Wes Craven, dammit, SHOULD be able to deliver!

Instead we get a re-hash of every other PG-13-ized horror movie that’s come down the pike. Worse yet, it’s also a re-hash of something Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson have done better three times over. “Cursed” is little more than a “Scream” movie that replaces the masked killer with hair and fangs. The movie doesn’t just cater to a studio’s idea of a key demographic, it represents a writer/director team trying to recapture a glory day long since past.

Christina Ricci plays the Neve Campbell role as Ellie, who lost both her parental units. Her younger brother Jimmy (Jesse Eisenberg) fills in for the Jamie Kennedy role as the know-it-all wiseass who can’t get a date. Jane Greer steps into the Courtney Cox role as a bitchy publicist who is just waiting to get her just desserts. Joshua Jackson plays the Liev Schreiber/Skeet Ulrich role as Ellie’s troubled boyfriend who fears commitment. Shannon Elizabeth shows up in the Drew Barrymore role as the wolf bait and Scott Baio fills in the Henry Winkler role as Scott Baio.

No surprise there to find another alumnus of “Happy Days,” since there seem to be more than a few sharks being jumped with this project. It’s so sad on so many levels. A waste-of-time script being given a by-the-numbers treatment from an A-list horror maestro. Okay, sure, Craven has made some bad movies before, but he hasn’t put anything out since “Scream 3” and it seems as though he’s stuck there. The movie depends on bad CGI effects for the werewolf transformation while relying on the most overused scare device of the past 20 years (silence—BOO!—everything’s okay). The only highlight comes when Milo Ventimiglia (Jess from “Gilmore Girls”) finally comes out of the closet.

No scares here, really. In fact, the powers-that-be in the editing room fear for our sensibilities so much that they actually cut to a black screen(!) while a werewolf enjoys its feast. I know, I know…”Jaws” was scary because you didn’t see the shark. That’s different. That creates suspense. This point has little to do with suspense. This has to do with no-holds-barred horror, something the head honchos at Dimension used to care about. Now, they’re after the approval of the MPAA so they can get more young butts in the seats. I say, let ‘em sneak in like I had to when I was a kid! Keep the R, you sissy-Marys!

So, maybe the PG-13-ification of horror is the least of this movie’s problems. It’s not interesting enough to hate and not quite hateful enough to loathe. Would it have helped if it had been gorier, sexier and nastier? Doubtful, but at least it would have had one less strike for pandering against it. As it is, it’s another stale nut cluster in a long line of canned, ball-less horror fiddle faddle. If you’re a fan of the genre and you’ve seen some of the movies I mentioned in the opening paragraph and you’re sick of it, you know exactly what to expect here. I have nothing more to say. I’m tired. I’m depressed. I’m going to bed.

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originally posted: 02/25/05 20:06:58
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell ok 3 stars
8/14/11 mr.mike OK 3 stars
6/18/11 art A NEAT horror FILM! 4 stars
1/30/10 Dane Youssef Williamson and Craven reunite again. But you wish they hadn't bothered. Campy. Never scary. 1 stars
12/29/06 William Goss Frankly, I expected worse. Moments of humor and gore almost make this watchable. 2 stars
12/05/06 Stanley Thai You may be thinking a really bad PG-13 horror're wrong. It's a fun movie! 4 stars
7/09/06 Jim Wow, I didn't think it was as bad as all that ... but it was late and I was sleepy. 4 stars
2/05/06 Shawn Gadberry Such a waste of time and talent... What happened, guys? 3 stars
1/18/06 Nicholas Sheldon Poor Kevin Williamson. What happened buddy? You should have never done WASTELAND. 1 stars
12/24/05 Michele cute 3 stars
12/22/05 MrsVoorheesBabyBoy Horror movie? I thought is was a Comedy? 2 stars
12/22/05 Ethan Wouldn't Scare My 2 Year Old Cousin! 1 stars
11/25/05 shaun wallner this movie was more funny then scary 3 stars
8/23/05 S Davis We all know Craven and Williamson could have done MUCH BETTER! It's like they didn't care. 1 stars
8/21/05 Michael Armocida Movie sucked 1 stars
8/17/05 ES Watched Cujo= loved it. watched the Cursed= hated it. Why do you think that was? 1 stars
7/07/05 Cedric More humor than horror 3 stars
6/24/05 FunkyMunky Since when do werewolves flip people off??? 2 stars
4/26/05 E-FUNK It's moving images of fecal matter. This movie was so fucking bad that I can't get over it. 1 stars
4/19/05 The Lurchprong Splitter More coherent than average horror. To bad Shannon Elizabeth reduced to bit part. 4 stars
3/26/05 Greg Ursic The title pretty much says it all... 1 stars
3/13/05 maxomai Campy, didn't make me think at all. Perfect. 5 stars
3/09/05 pepperann224 wes craven has lost his touch. 2 stars
3/06/05 Roy Smith Ms Greer is loveliness personified. The movie blah. 3 stars
3/05/05 ss A great 5 stars
3/03/05 jeff the movie was ruined when the wolfman actually showed a finger!!! 3 stars
3/03/05 michael weber cough.... horan what is wrong man u know becuase you r the man horan so come over and play 5 stars
3/02/05 baby_girl it was okay but I could've done something else with my time 2 stars
3/01/05 Tyrantis Crappy, but really enjoyable. Like a Godzilla movie. 3 stars
3/01/05 Burg Spackleman Joshua Jackson is awesome, Judy Greer's hot, Ricci is cool. Poorly written but campy fun 4 stars
3/01/05 Me A great film 5 stars
3/01/05 Ian Went for Christina Ricci in action,that alone was worth the admission- two times over 4 stars
2/28/05 Usul MARK is mistaking "kicks" for "licks" 1 stars
2/28/05 MARK 'Cursed kicks bootie!" 4 stars
2/27/05 elsie absolutely atrocious! 1 stars
2/27/05 Pete Holy Moly 1 stars
2/27/05 Chris Why Is Wes Craven Doing This To His Name? He Used To Make Scary Movies? Not Stuff Like This 1 stars
2/26/05 Theresa Wagner Waste of money 2 stars
2/26/05 Naka Don't tell me you expected scares and entertainment from a WES CRAVEN movie. 1 stars
2/26/05 mott the drupal scott baio vs. rob schneider = winning combo 1 stars
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  25-Feb-2005 (PG-13)
  DVD: 26-Apr-2011



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