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Overall Rating

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 12.5%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap87.5%

1 review, 2 user ratings

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Switching Goals
[] Buy posters from this movie
by Scott Weinberg

"Dead-eyed robot-girls kick balls."
1 stars

"Switching Goals" represents the fourth “Olsen twin product” that I’ve been forced to sit through over the last few weeks. Just one of these banal made-for-TV movies would be enough to send a lesser reviewer directly to the unemployment line, but four? Punishment not fit for a dog. To say that "Switching Goals" is somewhat better than "Getting There" or "Billboard Dad" is offering faint praise indeed, as I’ve yet to find an Olsen twins production that isn’t the cinematic equivalent of a frontal lobotomy.

Presented in a squeaky-clean and altogether lifeless “sitcom” style, the mega-rich Olsen gals continue to churn out what’s probably the lowest form of life on the “movie food chain”, yet consumers repeatedly lap it up with a spoon. I’ve nothing against “safe” family viewing, but movies like Switching Goals are so generic that I expect they were initially intended solely for viewing in juvenile detention centers. So low-rent and unengaging are the Olsen twin features that their only logical use could be as "bad-behavior deterrents” (As in: “Behave yourself or I’ll put on that Olsen twins movie!”)

As in all the Olsen expeditions I’ve withstood thus far, the plot is less important than is the showcasing of these eerily untalented pre-teen twins. Switching Goals sees the pair playing lots of soccer, only one of the twins is actually any good at the game. When their squad is suddenly made “co-ed”, the twins hatch a plan that involves that old standby: the “nobody will ever know” twin switcheroo.

To divulge more of the plot would imply that there’s an actual story here, when in fact Switching Goals is more of a limp Hallmark card of an affair, one that flings simplistic and self-satisfied platitudes at its young audience and delivers an unending string of "Charles in Charge"-style humor surrounded by the incessant “ain’t we cute” mugging of the two eponymous moppets.

What’s most sad about the Olsen twins' popularity is that millions of parents obviously see the pair as role models for little girls, when in truth the Olsen Empire is about nothing more than making two pop-culture rejects insanely wealthy for spouting dated slang and being relatively photogenic.

If these gals are truly role models for the next generation of women, I feel awful for the next generation of men.

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originally posted: 04/02/05 17:57:13
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Listed as part of our "Ew! The Olsen Twins!" series. For more in the Olsens! series, click here.

User Comments

7/08/05 Jada I love the Olsen twins, and I liked the movie 4 stars
4/30/05 Chris Stephens My eyes are still burning from watching this crap 1 stars
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  12-Dec-1999 (G)
  DVD: 20-Apr-2004



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