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Overall Rating

Awesome: 20.37%
Worth A Look: 16.67%
Pretty Bad: 11.11%
Total Crap: 7.41%

2 reviews, 42 user ratings

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by Thom

"Bombs and Boobs and Horse Races. Typical Bond Fare."
3 stars

James Bond. played by Roger Moore. Set in San Francisco. Also starring Grace Jones as the FIERCE assassin/bodyguard MayDay. Bad Man wants to steal all the computer chips in the world and then fix the price. James Bond action ensues.

Serious Bond fans may have their quibbles about who was the better Bond and which was the better Bond film, but I did not go see this movie as a Bond fan, but as a fan of Duran Duran, who recorded the theme song and Grace Jones.

I went to the premier of this film. It was a fund raiser for the then mayor Diane Feinstein's wayward youth program. The tickets were 150 dollars each and it was a black tie affair. I was 15, I had no job and Duran Duran, who recorded the theme song and Grace Jones were going to be at the premier. It was THE status event to attend. Rubbing shoulders with rock stars. We don't have rock stars like that anymore. Not real ones. Just coached ones. Or maybe I just don't feel that way about rock stars anymore.

I used to steal purses at nightclubs when I was a teenager. And we stole this one purse and it turned out to be the manager's of the mall store my friend worked at. She had a diaphragm. And she also had two tickets to the premier. Oh My God, The Golden Ticket! I told my partner in crime that since I had taken the initial risk and absconded the bag that the bigger share should be mine and if she didn't agree, she'd just have to pry the tickets out of my cold, dead fingers. What a little asshole I was. I could give a fuck about her when we were talking about the opportunity to meet *swoon* Nick Rhodes (who didn't even show up at the premier).

But then, even after I rented the tux from Selix, promwear supplier to the western world, I had a wave of regret. That stupid wave would come back to haunt me many a time until I turned into a tree-hugging, bleeding-heart lib'ral. So I called the Mayor's office and told them what I told my parents, "I found these tickets". And they said, thank you. And I was bummed and I called my step-mom at work and said "We aren't going." But then a few hours later, someone from the office called back and said she'd like me to be a guest of the mayor for my honesty. WOOHOO! SHOWS BACK ON! I frantically call my step-mom at work again and say "okay, hurry home and change". We got there about 10 minutes before the film was to start so I didn't have that much time to marvel at the mountains of flavored popcorn and shrimp the size of my fist. Nor did I get to rub shoulders with any rock stars, who by that time were hiding safely backstage talking about supermodels and eating strawberries dipped in champagne.

I brought a camera to take pictures of the rock stars. I got back about 24 black photos littered with spots of everyone else's flashbulbs. It was like an orgasm when they brought out the stars out to introduce the film. Cameras were popping off everywhere, including mine. I think I took those 24 pictures in a couple of minutes.

I grabbed a poster on the way out and walked into what I thought was broad daylight but was actually the floodlights lighting the red carpeted entrance, several feet from the barricaded people who didn't have tickets. Duran Duran was the most popular band in the world at that time so there were lots of screaming mimi's outside there and everytime the door opened a ripple of excitement would pass through the crowd. That is a very strange but not overwhelming feeling.

What really intimidated me was the bartender. I asked him how much a coke was. He was amused, I was embarassed. He handed me a coke, I slunk away in shame.

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originally posted: 10/23/00 10:05:50
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User Comments

3/09/17 Louise (the actual one) Thom you're funny. I would have loved to have been at that premiere! Film is great too! 4 stars
4/27/13 roscoe Moore looks old. The film is standard issue. Fine but too lame, tiriding, & unspectacular 3 stars
1/12/10 Dr.Lao The title was the smartest things about the movie. Grace Jones is still ugly. 2 stars
1/29/09 the dork knight walken barely redeems it....and where the hell did the 007 theme go? 3 stars
1/25/09 bob very good and underestimated film 5 stars
7/21/07 Sugarfoot Dreadful Bond entry which is the nadir of the series. 1 stars
5/22/07 ProSneakyD A good story and well directed action scenes cant hide the fact that Moore's too old this 3 stars
12/28/06 JM Synth Very underrated, enjoyable and exciting Bond film. 5 stars
11/21/06 mr.mike nice pairing with macnee but roger was past his prime. 3 stars
9/30/06 ProSneakyD A good story and well directed action scenes cant hide the fact that Moore's too old this 4 stars
1/03/06 Anthony Feor Christopher Walken could not be better! But the movie lacks 3 stars
11/21/05 chris a brilliant end to moores role as bond 5 stars
5/27/05 tony dissapointing at some parts. But still very good. Walken is the best villan. 3 stars
4/13/05 Indrid Cold A decent Bond outing, which means it is more entertaining than most movies. 3 stars
1/08/05 keithers.. Doesn't feel like bond.....a bad entry 2 stars
8/17/04 Herolder Some nice moments, but Moore is too old. 4 stars
12/27/03 earl hofert horrible 1 stars
11/29/03 john the elements are there but they never come together - average all the way 3 stars
10/11/03 JimmyC Christopher Walken = Best Bond Villain! 5 stars
7/06/03 Paul S. Good: May Day, Walken, Eiffel tower, Golden Gate, horse race, McNee - Bad: Bond, Stacey 4 stars
5/16/03 Andrew Carden Moore Is Fantastic In His Final Bond Film, and Roberts Is Sexy and Stylish. Bad Finale. 4 stars
3/15/03 TAG Moore is entertaining as always, but Dalton should have taken over by this point. 3 stars
12/29/02 Jack Sommersby A guilty pleasure. 3 stars
10/14/02 Charles Tatum Probably the worst Bond, and that includes "Casino Royale" 2 stars
9/25/02 sean gothman The only thing doof about this was it was the last of Roger Moore... 1 stars
9/17/02 CVJ excellent Christopher Walken is one of the best Bond Villains 5 stars
8/07/02 Nevz I love this film, used to watch it when I was a kid! 5 stars
3/18/02 Zargo entertaining, but rog mate, you're too bloody old! 4 stars
3/03/02 Unagiboy Bond at its best. Grace Jones was great. Tonya Roberts was a waste of air. 4 stars
2/16/02 murat great bond movie.The song is powerful.A nice goodbye to roger moore 5 stars
1/31/02 Rakesh Kumar Where's the freakin' review mate? 3 stars
1/20/02 David A. Bond Kicks Butt! 5 stars
8/07/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) Really gruesome for PG, but cool. Damn the MPAA! 4 stars
7/09/01 Reini Urban bad bad 2 stars
4/08/00 Gremlin Oh, James!...SHUT THE FUCK UP, if you mute the bitch then the movie's cool 4 stars
6/25/99 David Keech Tonya Roberts couldn't act her way out of a paper bag. CW is movie's only saving grace. 2 stars
6/17/99 matchbox20 Fuck I loved this movie. Bond at it's best! 5 stars
4/19/99 jimmy jam Best Bond movie yet.!!!! 5 stars
3/12/99 Claude Serrualt Great Ending Scene. Roberts needs acting lessons 5 stars
10/27/98 Silent Rob Aside from Chris Walkens' 'machine gun' scene, there is nothing here. 2 stars
10/25/98 Patrick888 Roger's too long in the tooth here. Walken and Jones are campy fun, but Tanya Roberts? 3 stars
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  02-Jul-1985 (PG)


  02-Feb-1985 (PG)

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