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Overall Rating

Awesome: 5.88%
Worth A Look: 9.8%
Pretty Bad: 17.65%
Total Crap: 27.45%

5 reviews, 21 user ratings

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Mickey Blue-Eyes
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by Rob Gonsalves

"One-joke comedy, and the one joke isn't very funny."
1 stars

If you've seen the trailer for 'Mickey Blue Eyes,' you've essentially seen all it has to offer: a proper Englishman among mobsters. The movie's one-joke premise doesn't go nearly as far as you'd think it might, particularly with such capable, good-humored actors as Hugh Grant and James Caan in the lead roles. In fact, just the thought of them in a scene together is funnier than anything they actually do.

Grant is Michael Felgate, an art auctioneer deeply in love with schoolteacher Gina Valente (Jeanne Tripplehorn). Michael pops the question; Gina's response, much to his baffled dismay, is to flee in horror. Later, she explains why: She can't marry Michael because she doesn't want to get him involved in her family's business. "Your father is some sort of mob caterer?" asks Michael, who's half right.

Word gets around the family fast, and soon Michael meets Frank Vitale (Caan), who takes an instant liking to Michael. To me, this development seems inspired more by plot convenience than by reality -- why would an Italian mobster want anything to do with a fancy-pants British guy? -- and it denies us the potential fun of watching the irritable Caan play off of the bumbling Grant. In only one scene, when an exasperated Frank tries to teach Michael how to talk like a mobster (the scene is transplanted from the trailer to the movie pretty much intact), do we get any kind of comic tension or rhythm between these two polar-opposite actors.

Blandly directed by Kelly Makin (who did the Kids in the Hall movie Brain Candy a couple years back), from a threadbare script by Adam Scheinman and Robert Kuhn, Mickey Blue Eyes gets bogged down in the kind of tangled-web humor that should have died out with Three's Company. Michael has to keep lying to Gina about his increasing involvement with her dad and his cronies, especially after he agrees to auction off the aggressively terrible paintings of a young mobster in the family. In one scene, Gina drops by Michael's office, where one of those paintings is clearly visible, and Michael puts on a big show in order to distract Gina from spotting the painting. The scene, desperately unfunny, assumes that Gina is not only idiotic but also has no peripheral vision (which all teachers must have).

The deceptions pile up, drowning the comedy. Michael poses as "Kansas City Little Big Mickey Blue Eyes," a gangster no one has heard of, and even if his awful mobster accent fools Frank's friends, the fact that he looks like Hugh Grant should be a tip-off. An accidental murder pits Frank against the head of the family (Burt Young, who's looking good these days), leading to an elaborate ruse at Michael and Gina's wedding. About the only saving graces in this lengthy sequence are an unplanned detonation of a squib and the presence of Scott Thompson, a former Kid in the Hall, as an FBI agent who approaches his disguises like a Method actor: "I'm the best man, and I love chocolate biscuits."

I'm sure Mickey Blue Eyes got greenlighted well before Analyze This came out, so I can't say it's a rip-off, but it suffers in comparison anyway. It turns out not to be about an Englishman among mobsters so much as a rickety farce dependent on a lot of unbelievable lies told to people who should be too smart to believe them. A much fresher comedy might have had James Caan as an Italian mobster who meets English mobster Hugh Grant and tries to accept the British way of carrying out hits: they whack people ever so politely, don't you know.

Hugh Grant as a cool, courteous hit man -- now that's funny; funnier than anything in 'Mickey Blue Eyes.'

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originally posted: 01/16/07 12:17:03
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User Comments

3/19/06 MP Bartley Grants' comic skills are sorely underappreciated. Very funny entertainment. 4 stars
10/13/04 Mel A decent movie. 4 stars
12/29/02 Jack Sommersby Uninspired but breezy entertainment. 3 stars
3/06/02 Julia Cox Among the better mob movie sendups, but not quite as good as CORKY ROMANO. 4 stars
6/20/01 Bada Bing Crosby To call this crap insults the genuine crap 1 stars
6/18/01 Tzila Seewald It's was embrassing laughing! it's so funny, cute movie! Hugh is so cute in the movie! 5 stars
4/05/01 sanya cute, funny 4 stars
2/23/00 Tom McNulty I pity Filmlink's Darren Arnold. This film is VERY smart and funny. 5 stars
11/28/99 Lisa i think it was an alright movie 3 stars
10/07/99 Ugly Dave Gray complete and utter shit 1 stars
9/24/99 KK Boring Boring Boring Predictable Predictable Predictable ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 2 stars
9/20/99 Admiral Crunch Coulda been more funnier... 3 stars
9/13/99 Mr Showbiz There is a special circle in movie purgatory for movies like this that don't hold up. 3 stars
8/27/99 Ah Dooey Nice try. Go see Analyze This if you want a few good laughs. 3 stars
8/27/99 PhilmPhreak Fuhgedabouddit! 2 stars
8/26/99 Ami the Wonderbread All the laughs were in the trailer, suck! 3 stars
8/24/99 khaled mega 5 stars
8/24/99 Roman I thought it was pretty entertaining 4 stars
8/24/99 Malbert Could have been a lot better...some funny parts 3 stars
8/23/99 WBG Below average; I was falling asleep! 2 stars
8/21/99 BoB This movie was okay. It should have been funnier. 3 stars
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  20-Aug-1999 (PG-13)



Directed by
  Carl Gottleib
  Kelly Makin

Written by
  Robert Kuhn
  Marc Lawrence

  Hugh Grant
  Burt Young
  James Fox
  Joe Viterelli

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