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Overall Rating
2.37

Awesome: 16.52%
Worth A Look: 11.3%
Average: 5.22%
Pretty Bad: 26.09%
Total Crap40.87%

8 reviews, 67 user ratings


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Underworld: Evolution
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Doug Bentin

"It's loud; it's gory; it's dumb as a pound of dirt."
2 stars

“Underworld: Evolution” is a dream come true for fans of dark fantasy adventure who at least sort of liked “Van Helsing.” It will be appalling/risible for everyone else.

Yes, it’s another monster mash smackdown with almost continuous battling going on between the clan of vampires and the clan of werewolves. That may be all you need to read to know whether or not you have any interest in seeing the picture. If you’re still on the fence, let me add two more ingredients: Kate Beckinsale + unbelievably tight black latex. Yeah, suddenly a lot of more of you art lovers had your interest piqued. This flick contains a lot—a lot—of shots of Beckinsale walking away from the camera. The girl certainly knows how to turn the other cheek.

This is a sequel to the 2003 original that began to tell us about the rivalry between vampires and lycans. We pick up here where the first one left off. Beckinsale is Selene, a one-time hitwoman for the vampires. This time out she’s trying to stop Marcus (Tony Curan), top vamp, from setting loose his brother William, captured king werewolf.

No, hold on a minute. Marcus is more than a vampire—he wants to develop a hybrid of the two types of monster and his real goal is, as if there were any doubt, to take over the world. To stop this, Selene has to employ the help of Michael (Scott Speedman), who actually is a hybrid, and Corvinus (Sir Derek Jacobi), who is the biological father of Marcus and William.

Let me make it easy for you. Selene, Michael and Corvinus=good; Marcus and William=bad. There’s also a guy called Tanis (Steven Mackinstosh) who is cynical and slides along the good/bad continuum, and another one called Viktor (Bill Nighy) who is also all bad but is only seen in flashbacks because Selene killed him in the last movie.

There’s also a held over revenge back story, but this movie isn’t about narrative. It’s about CGI rumbles, some but not all of which are well done, between hideous, gore-splattered monsters. The story boards could have been drawn by the kind of nerdy kid in junior high who used to doodle comic book-style fights on the covers of his school books. I have to admit a level of respect, though, for director Len Wiseman (Mr. Beckinsale) for realizing that creatures like these would not be clean and effete. Every location is a movable abattoir with these beasts, and that’s unpleasant but as it should be.

Okay, yes, I enjoyed the movie even though I know that saying so won’t do my credibility any good. It’s absolutely empty brain calories and it exists on the lower levels of popdoodledom. But I’m not recommending it to anyone who read the first two paragraphs above and who didn’t slap their hands together and think, “All right, at last!”

And it ends on a note that practically guarantees a third installment, so I guess I’ll be able to stand another one. If I haven’t seen so many silly monster movies that I’m in the Home for Befuddled Film Reviewers by then.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=13771&reviewer=405
originally posted: 02/22/06 09:34:37
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User Comments

4/01/12 Cr a soild sequel with lots of action, suspense, and good acting. kate is awesome! 4 stars
4/23/11 man yawn 1 stars
4/09/11 Annoymous Took About Bad Acting and neither Derek Jacobi can't save this film 1 stars
1/28/08 Alan Disappointing, a sequence of chases and gory battles, but wiht no tension and little sense. 2 stars
9/15/07 dude boring 1 stars
7/22/07 Rebecca It's really not as bad as the detractors make out. Complexity is a good thing. 5 stars
7/16/07 tweener Awesome... sex scene is a bit much for youngens, but kate looks great and plenty of action 5 stars
5/29/07 Rrahn I liked it very much!!! Some people should respect other opinions... 5 stars
5/08/07 Charles Tatum Another sequel that no one asked for 3 stars
2/06/07 AJ Muller Needlessly complex yet still stupid; decent action, though, and more fun than the first. 3 stars
1/27/07 khatukz the hell i care about what other people say,i liked the movie,no! I loved the movie!!! 5 stars
1/05/07 del I don't ever want to meet the fans of these movies. 1 stars
11/26/06 Tess i loved all Kates move!,,,but hated the blood-sheds. 2 stars
11/20/06 money911$$$$$$$ loved the movie kate beckinsale is hotter than hell and i loveed all the action 5 stars
10/06/06 Peachygirl Who cares about the movie? It had Tony Curran in it -- he made the movie worthwhile. 4 stars
9/20/06 Pritchett The first was lame, this was lamer. 1 stars
9/05/06 Ana Kile Amazing. Good effects. Good acting. Good story telling. Requirement: Some intelligence. 5 stars
8/09/06 Dragon The Artist The only things that need to evolve is the acting & the video gamey concept!! 1 stars
8/08/06 sterling joseph roberson i love so much 5 stars
7/24/06 Jim Better and more epic than the first, and about five times gorier. Michael, move your arm! 4 stars
6/13/06 Paul Schem 5 stars
4/10/06 mohan action , pretty good speical effects and hot,sexy kate 4 stars
3/30/06 fuzzl10 kate beckinsale manages to pull off the girl action heroine, a feat few women can do 5 stars
3/10/06 Sumixam It was entertaining for a fan of the 1st 5 stars
2/28/06 dfd good movie but the first was better 4 stars
2/25/06 PAG Pretty good flick. Better than the first. 4 stars
2/22/06 Leia Easily one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. 1 stars
2/21/06 riddsy good film 4 stars
2/17/06 Soha Molina bad 1 stars
2/17/06 Galliwertz Even lamer than the first, if you can imagine that. 1 stars
2/16/06 ES Excellent, if you enjoyed the first you'll love the 2nd 5 stars
2/11/06 Mike How disappointing. Good first, totally confused second film. How often can Michael die? 2 stars
2/08/06 FritztheCat I thought this movie was such divine poop in a can...just like the first. 1 stars
2/04/06 CD crap 1 stars
2/01/06 Jonathon its crap.....but it's better than the other crap out there 3 stars
1/31/06 Gungywamp Even lamer than the original lame-fest... 1 stars
1/30/06 lee Boring 1 stars
1/29/06 CthulhuFhtagn Very poor sequel to a very poor film...why are we shocked? 1 stars
1/28/06 Stimpy of DOTs I really enjoyed this movie, 4 stars
1/28/06 Jeebuzz ...and here I was thinking that the FIRST one sucked ass...WHOAH!!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/27/06 Ole Man Bourbon Sure, it's crap. But it's not as bad as a lot of other crap. Whatever that means. 2 stars
1/27/06 Popem UNDERWORLD is a movie morons always seem to like...what gives??? 1 stars
1/25/06 Jeff Paulin it was a good action movie worth a look 4 stars
1/25/06 Anus I fell asleep while watching this. That's bad, right? TRIUMPH : UNDERWEAR REVOLUTION 1 stars
1/25/06 Runaway Hey! Some loser guy's old loser wife liked it! That MUST mean it's good!!! 1 stars
1/24/06 Lighten-up It's not that bad! It's enjoyable for what it is. My 40yr old wife loves it. 3 stars
1/24/06 K-2 You are all losers for liking this garbage...but we already knew that, didn't we? 1 stars
1/24/06 Paul Critics really have NO lives. RELAX! This movie was good! FUN! Kate you are perfect. 4 stars
1/24/06 Michael Loved it. don't listen to critics. Listen to regular people 4 stars
1/23/06 Chip It was alright. The first one had a better storyline though. 4 stars
1/23/06 LoveTrash This movie ROCKED (worthy of several viewings, unlike other blockbusters) 5 stars
1/23/06 Blutarsky Nowhere near as bad as made out here. Bah. 4 stars
1/23/06 The Talking Elbow Proof that film reviewers should be taken with a grain of salt: I had no problems with UE. 5 stars
1/23/06 JK This sequel was incredible! I loved it. Kate kicked more ass than she did in the original! 5 stars
1/23/06 Zordude I enjoyed it. 5 stars
1/23/06 bluseed This movie rocks!!! and so did Kate! 5 stars
1/23/06 Noodle The same dull people who liked the crappy first will like this second helping of shit, too! 1 stars
1/22/06 Ton I enjoyed this movie! Don't watch it if you don't like vampires. 5 stars
1/22/06 Jessi I think it was a great film and even better than the first! 5 stars
1/22/06 Evil Wolfie Loved the first - This one not so much 3 stars
1/22/06 NoRefill Just really boring. Liked this one even less than the first one. 2 stars
1/22/06 Flyboy Dare I say even more boring than the first...I didn't think that was possible. 1 stars
1/21/06 asme cool!!!!!! yah.... 3 stars
1/21/06 SoHo More trash for the January dumping ground! WAY worse than the original turd!!!! 1 stars
1/21/06 Chappy I hated the original, WHY did I think this one would be any better???? Aaaaargggggh!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/21/06 malcolm how could a film w/beckinsale naked, vampires, werewolves, graphic violence be so BORING? 2 stars
1/20/06 BrianWilly Surprisingly fun and entertaining. Better than the first. 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  20-Jan-2006 (R)
  DVD: 06-Jun-2006

UK
  20-Jan-2006

Australia
  19-Jan-2006


Directed by
  Len Wiseman

Written by
  Danny McBride

Cast
  Kate Beckinsale
  Scott Speedman
  Tony Curran
  Derek Jacobi
  Bill Nighy
  Michael Sheen



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