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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 25%
Average: 17.86%
Pretty Bad: 3.57%
Total Crap: 5.36%

3 reviews, 38 user ratings

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Sling Blade
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by Chris Parry

"Reckon ah might go rent something else, mmm-hmm."
3 stars

Not for nothing, but this could have been a TV miniseries. The hype, while not undeserving in some instances, was hype. Sling Blade, while nothing that will make you turn away in boredom, just isn't going to live in anyones mind for long.

Sounds harsh? Well, perhaps I'm just a little sick of people being called great actors just because they pull off a retarded role. Perhaps it's a case of so much hype never quite being able to live up to the actuality. Or perhaps it's because this film decides to smarten the 'tard up whenever it sees fit to up the tempo.

But it just wasn't all that. Too many easy options.

"Gee son. Who's that creepy guy in prison garb who just followed you in?" - "That's Carl. They just let him out of a prison hospital." - "Oh. Well, you want to come live with us, Carl?"

WHAT WHAT WHAAAAT?!?! No mom! Wrong answer! Correct answer is "you might want to come over here, son, and don't make any sudden moves. Someone get me a net."

"Gee Carl. You just got out of a mental hospital and now you're living with me, a single mom, and my young boy. Why did they lock you up anyway?" - "I killed my mother and another person." - "Oh well. As long as you don't do it again. I'll make some biscuits"

WHAT WHAT WHAAAT?!!? NO! The real answer to that is "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU FUCKING CRANK! Frank, son, call the cops."

"Gee, Carl. What are you doing with that hammer, in my bedroom, in the middle of the night?" - "Just woke up holding it. Don't know." - "Oh well, go back to bed." - "Alright then."

WHA-WHA-WHAAAAT?!?!?! Is everyone in this movie on mind-numbing drugs? Have they been putting Serapax in the water supply? Are you inbreds all fuckin' nutty!?!?


Now, despite some worthy performances, Billy Bob, the kid from American Gothic, John Ritter, Dwight Yoakam, etc, this movie is one of those "come look at the 'tard-boy show the normal folks how to love" affairs, and quite frankly it comes across to me like a Lifetime TV movie. Preachy, ham-fisted, forced and unneeded.

Two stars for JT Walsh in yet another damn fine support role, and another star for some decent performances from others in an otherwise completely overrated flick. Blah blah and blah again.

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originally posted: 02/23/99 23:15:00
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User Comments

12/28/09 Dane Youssef One of 1996's finest. Thorton scores in every department. Everyone beams. 5 stars
6/20/09 Aussie Saw it years ago , haunts me still .. 5 stars
9/23/07 Sambadi Just crap 1 stars
8/14/06 Sharon Made me cry zi got bored at times but I can relate to the kid 4 stars
9/15/05 Indrid Cold Like Brando with Don Corleone, Thornton's characterization is brilliant, unforgettable. 5 stars
8/13/05 ES Dwight is the man, Duvall keeps getting good movies for playing the same guy in each 5 stars
7/20/05 tatum Finally, a southern movie actually shot in the south; excellent 5 stars
7/04/05 blowsky monster, king of cool, you guys don't know shit about movies, so shut the hell up 5 stars
6/26/05 Jeanne Dwight Yoakum was robbed of a Best Supporting Actor nom - he disappeared into Doyle. 5 stars
8/10/04 alvin grung Telegraphs the moral/plot, but Thornton/Yoakum/Ritter great! 4 stars
2/10/04 king of cool this movie is the worst!!!!!! 1 stars
12/10/03 Samuel a really good movie 4/5 stars!! 4 stars
4/13/03 Quick Draw worth watching 3 stars
3/25/03 X Film-making at its absolute best. 5 stars
2/02/03 fjfnnmnm A cinematic gem. 5 stars
8/29/02 Monster W. Kung Idiot-savant at least doesn't become glorified superhero Forrest Gump. Still overrated. 3 stars
7/02/02 R.W. Welch Some decent writing here but plot somehow manages to be both predictable and implausible. 3 stars
4/15/02 Dark Baron We'll never see a movie like this in 200 years. 5 stars
3/05/02 Jenny Tullwartz Might've been good if it cared about main character rahter'n o.d.-ing on pol. correctness. 2 stars
8/27/01 phil m. afficiando Ryan_a captures my emotional "awesome" but OZ is right re: story line flaws. 4 stars
8/20/01 Clarance A must see, Thorton was amazing! 5 stars
7/10/01 M I just love Lucas! 5 stars
7/03/01 Oberon Outstanding Film 5 stars
5/05/01 Gracy Lionheart I really liked this movie...not for everybody though. 4 stars
3/15/01 Rael Billy Bob Thorton is one of the finest actors in America. 5 stars
11/21/00 Terrie Smith Slow but compelling; helluva performance from Thornton. 1 stars
9/02/00 Rosalie Coleman I reckon I'll have me some of the big ins' mmm hmmmm 5 stars
7/14/00 Japtalian Shouldn't been doing that boy like that...hmmmmm. 5 stars
4/15/00 malcolm an unforgettable tale from top to bottom 5 stars
7/04/99 J-Dogg Good, of course, but never quite clung to me. Seemed more of a "Gump" rip at first. 4 stars
6/17/99 little jerry Sling Blade Vs Forrest Gump.Real TALENT Vs real money.No contest. 5 stars
6/17/99 SquareTex This film is not easily forgotten...especially since I want to see it again. 5 stars
3/18/99 Max Bernstein Hey Billy-Bob, Fuck off and fetch me some french fried pataters. Bitch. 2 stars
3/10/99 Go Swans Yeah yeah, good performances, but NOT a masterpiece. 3 stars
3/01/99 Spankey WOW!!! One of the best movies ever made, congrats Billy Bob 5 stars
1/24/99 Hannah Holy cow! 5 stars
12/25/98 Cat Great characters;good development 4 stars
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  27-Nov-1996 (R)
  DVD: 07-Jun-2005


  31-Jul-1997 (M)

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