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One Armed Boxer (Dop Bey Kuan Wan)

Reviewed By Chris Parry
Posted 05/24/99 02:37:08

"The precursor of Streetfighter is the funniest movie you will see"
4 stars (Worth A Look)

Let me start by making one thing clear. This film was not intended to be funny. It looks like it was supposed to be intense, which just makes it all the more hilarious, for this is one of the dumbest movies you are ever likely to find. But not dumb in an Urban Legends kind of way, more like that Plan Nine From Outer Space way that makes you cringe, yet leaves you glued to the screen.

A martial arts student is minding his own business when his dojo is invaded by another clan and everyone, bar our hero, is killed. But our hero doesn't come away unharmed - he loses an arm. Normally, this would mean any chance of revenge is out of the question, but this man is told by a sage that all he needs to do is toughen his remaining hand and it will be a deadly weapon.

How do you toughen a hand? Well, you burn it, smash it with a concrete block, basically destroy it, thereby making it like a rock.

Now, you and I know that this kind of behaviour would simply result in you being stuck with a piece of dead flesh hanging off the end of your arm, but in this flick you just have to forget that and embrace the belief that our hero now has a rock where his hand once was.

And so he takes it to the streets and kicks serious tail at his enemy's dojo, causing the enemy head honcho to gather together the nastiest fighters in Asia to defend himself.

'Like who' I hear you say..

Like the Tibetan Llama fighters, who can deaden their nerve endings and not feel pain. Like the Indian guru who can do a handstand and run around his opponent so fast (on his hands) that his opponent gets dizzy. Like the bigass evil Chinese vampire guy.

Like I said... it's Streetfighter, except so much worse, that it's so much better.

I can't tell you how amusing this shit is. you just have to go find it (a tough task in itself, but make it your mission of the month). And then find the sequel - The One Armed Boxer vs the Flying Guillotine.

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