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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 7.69%
Average: 30.77%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap: 3.85%

3 reviews, 8 user ratings

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KFC Bowl
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by William Goss

"A Gift From Finger-Licking God"
5 stars

Mashed potatoes. Corn. Chicken. Gravy. Cheese. These are the traditional tastes that we’ve come to know and love. It seems curious that this ensemble has never shared a meal before…until now.

From Colonel Sanders, creator of the legendary Original Recipe Bucket and last summer’s sensational Snackers, comes his unquestionable masterwork, the KFC Bowl. An astounding medley of familiar fare layered together in gastrointestinal harmony, the Bowl may be the world’s best anti-salad, the king of comfort foods crafted with such shameless abandon that it takes one’s breath away (either that, or your heart’s failing, but who needs details?).

The potatoes provide loving, tender, squishy support to the entire assembly, followed by a shot of sweet corn and topped by a hearty helping of popcorn chicken. The cherry on top is the one-two punch of gravy and three-blend cheese, and the whole delicacy is housed in a gut-busting, eye-pleasing, drool-inducing aerodynamic union of plasticity between the bold black bowl and its tease of a lid, clear so as to practically wink at its possessor and beg it to devour. One would suggest that such a dish would seem to be best served with either a ’71 Chianti, ’65 Merlot or ’06 Sprite. The big C-O-L. has also been kind enough to provide a rice substitute for the potatoes, an equally moist alternative that, while suitable, simply cannot top the native appeal of the mashed potato. In fact, the only thing that gets skimped on is the price, which is considerate when a new belt or pants or stretcher lies in one’s financial future.

Once in a lifetime, one should be so lucky as to digest such an assembly of classic flavors, if only for such lightning to strike for a limited time. Fortunately, this generation has been graced from above with the immediate short-term satisfaction and the inevitable long-term health consequences courtesy of the KFC Bowl. Eat it now. Regret it later.

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originally posted: 06/19/06 05:07:59
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User Comments

11/09/06 Sugarfoot It's okay but it's too corny. I know you can get it without but that's my review. 3 stars
6/04/06 jacob tate A-maze-ing 5 stars
6/02/06 San Lamar mmm, ill take seconds please 4 stars
6/02/06 Ole Man Bourbon Popeye's was way better. 1 stars
6/01/06 f*r*o*s*t*y I love you, Popcorn Chicken. 4 stars
6/01/06 Jay Man Not as memorable as Poutine Bowl: The Movie 3 stars
6/01/06 Eric D. Snider The most awesome food since mother's milk 5 stars
6/01/06 Maegs More gravy, less cheese, 100% love in a bowl 5 stars
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