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Overall Rating

Awesome: 31.16%
Worth A Look32.61%
Average: 5.07%
Pretty Bad: 5.8%
Total Crap: 25.36%

7 reviews, 96 user ratings

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Clerks II
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by EricDSnider

"No longer in black-and-white, and still off-color."
4 stars

It won't surprise fans of "Clerks" to know that even now, 12 years later, Dante and Randal are still working their same dead-end jobs at a convenience store and a video store. What surprises our slacker heroes, at the outset of "Clerks II," is that they show up to work one day and find their stores on fire.

"Clerks II" is Kevin Smith's attempt to regain the glory he hasn't had since, um, "Clerks I." (OK, maybe "Chasing Amy.") It's a good attempt, too. It smells only slightly of desperation and smells mostly like the raucous, verbose comedy that made "Clerks" a vulgar treat all those years ago. There are remnants of some of the bad habits Smith has picked up in the meantime, too, but more on that later.

With their old jobs in flames, Dante (Brian O'Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) find employment at Mooby's, a McDonald's-style fast food joint that is unpopular enough to give them plenty of time to stand around and talk. Dante is engaged to a dull woman named Emma (Jennifer Schwalback Smith, the director's wife) and is about to move to Florida, yet is drawn to Mooby's manager Becky (Rosario Dawson), too. Randal, ever the cynical potty-mouthed pop-culture sponge, doesn't want to be left behind in New Jersey (who would?) but is happy for his friend. That is to say, he experiences the emotion that for him constitutes "happy," which for most of us is more like "dyspeptic."

What of Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), the offensive stoners who used to stand outside the convenience store? After a stint of court-ordered rehab, they're back to selling pot and have moved their base of operations to Mooby's.

Things are more or less the same as we left them, in other words, and it's surprising to see how much has happened since 1994 that needs to be discussed by Dante and Randal. The Internet, for one thing: The Internet seems like it was MADE for "Clerks"-style minutiae-dissection; it's hard to believe it didn't exist when the first film was made. (OK, it existed, but you know what I mean.) The "Star Wars" "special editions" and prequels have come and gone, and so has "Lord of the Rings." There's going to be a "Transformers" movie, which delights fellow Mooby's employee and whipping boy Elias (Trevor Fehrman), a naive Christian and a regular target of Randal's abuse.

As in the first film, Randal has the best lines and the most outrageous "it's funny because it's true" diatribes. He hated the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, for example, because all they are is nine hours of people walking. ("Even the TREES walked in those movies.") He's defensive about the "Star Wars" prequels. He has a fantastic rant about racism and proudly declares he's going to take back the term "porch monkey" as a non-racist term of endearment. He also has some very questionable ideas about how to throw Dante a going-away party.

Unfortunately, the generic syrupy tendencies that killed Smith's "Jersey Girl" ooze into "Clerks II" now and then, too. The most unbelievably clichéd is when Dante confesses to Becky that he doesn't know how to dance at his wedding and so she gives him lessons on the rooftop. That it turns into an exuberant musical number set to the Jackson Five's "ABC" doesn't excuse its triteness.

The film's ending is also needlessly sappy. We LIKE these characters, yes, because they're funny. But I think Smith is overstating it if he thinks we care about them enough to endure lengthy non-comedic interludes with them. So put the violins away and make with the funny, monkey boy.

And for the most part, that's what he does. O'Halloran and Anderson still aren't what you'd call "actors," and what goes on here is irredeemably vulgar. But when it's on, it's really on: sharp, funny and geeky, just like you remember.

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originally posted: 07/21/06 17:00:21
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell decent the 1st one was alot better 3 stars
8/16/17 Jon Fans would appreciate it most. Dawson was great and originals were satisfyingly in characte 4 stars
12/21/14 Dane R. Youssef Somehow, MORE than just more of the same. The message may bring some to real tears. 5 stars
4/01/13 Marty L Gritty. fun, cynical humor. Not for the feint of heart. Must see in my opiinion 5 stars
12/13/12 Ben Saddens me to say it sucks, LOVE THE ORIGINAL. This is like Star Wars the prequels (bad) 1 stars
6/10/10 joey a worthless piece of manure 2 stars
3/07/10 Marc Kelly Better than the original. Very funny. 5 stars
9/20/09 Electric John My neighbors banged on our adjoining wall because my loud laughing was keeping them up. 5 stars
8/20/09 Jeff Wilder Gets the job done. Not as funny as the original. But still worth your time. 4 stars
4/03/09 Dane Youssef A worth sequwl. Smith comes full-circle. Hilarious, of course. And about something vital. 5 stars
8/11/08 Jon G romantic comedy = barf 2 stars
10/24/07 Charles Tatum I'll say it...better than the first and funny as hell "ooh, cake!" 5 stars
9/14/07 Equinox maybe if i had down syndrome 1 stars
7/17/07 Andy It was damn funny get ya head out of ya asses, and lighten up 5 stars
6/01/07 Matt F. I'm a Kevin S. fan, but the reviewer is right on alot of counts. 2 stars
5/20/07 Quadraphonic Some good cheap laughs but not the same kind of substance you had in the original. 2 stars
5/02/07 fattyjoe37 Great follow up to the classic original 5 stars
4/30/07 John Sucks and if you think otherwise I would not ever want to meet you. 1 stars
4/15/07 arl It's Citizen Kane, but I didn't expect it to be. Funny though! 4 stars
3/27/07 fools♫gold Like 40-Year-Old Virgin, it's yet another rather unfunny overrated bucket of puke. 1 stars
3/21/07 dude it was good 4 stars
2/26/07 Sharlatan david cornelius knows... 1 stars
2/20/07 Beau After i'd seen it i felt...dirty, like a part of my life had been stolen forever 1 stars
2/11/07 matti newcannon starts slowly, a2m was gross and unfunny, superb after that. this reviewer is a total dick 5 stars
1/24/07 bobski kevin smith is nothing compared to j r tolkien he hasnt a fukin clue!!starwars is shit btw 1 stars
1/22/07 joey Huge disappointment. Feels way too forced, not to mention sappy. Watch Dogma again instead. 2 stars
1/09/07 MickT Go rent Meatballs 4 instead, same calibur, much funnier! 1 stars
1/05/07 matt and King Diamond rules 4 stars
1/05/07 Indrid Cold As funny as the original, but nowhere near as fresh. 3 stars
1/02/07 Sam reviewer is a dumbfuck, he has no life so he thinks trashing films will make him seem big. 5 stars
1/01/07 matt Fehrman's performance felt forced, otherwise very funny and enjoyable 4 stars
12/30/06 alucard The clerks sequel that I've been waiting for. Absolutely hilarious! 5 stars
12/28/06 Deborah Ehh, it seems like instead of Smith getting better with aage he is just getting stale 1 stars
12/20/06 Buffy Worst Movie Ever! No stars for this crap. 1 stars
12/18/06 PK Total disaster, the worst acting I've seen all year. Age has not been kind to the cast. 1 stars
12/13/06 Bob If you're stoned or 10 years old, then u might enjoy this. Otherwise, you'll fall asleep 1 stars
12/12/06 Em This movie sucked ass. 1 stars
12/05/06 Shaggy Got me "Sex nuts and retard srong"! 5 stars
12/04/06 Emily absolutely hilarious movie...I laughed so hard I cried 5 stars
12/03/06 Brad wow, these comments vindicate postmodernism; i figured most everyone would find this funny 5 stars
12/01/06 Ryan_A Dancing Dawson good for a star all by herself. Perfectly acceptable film. 4 stars
12/01/06 toast only funny part i laughed at was when he was like " forgive me Jesus" while jerkn it lol 1 stars
10/15/06 William Goss Smith tries tenderness with a story of two men and their favorite pieces of ass. Amusing. 3 stars
10/07/06 EVEN THE TREES WALKED IN THOSE MOVIES!!? the ents in lotr rocked ,unlike george lucas shitty creations like R2D2,jarjaretc/koolfilm 4 stars
10/06/06 Fish possibly the greatest in smith's repetoir and amazingly funny 5 stars
10/03/06 Beau I am not going to downgrade myself to this standard of movie, this's for ppl with no brain 2 stars
10/03/06 The Master of The Internets A work of art. Fitting sequel to the original. HOWEVER I SUGGEST YOU WATCH IT WITH A FRIEND 4 stars
9/29/06 Joey CCCCRAAAP movie!! Watch Smith pimp his super/special/pumped up DVD. Kevin Smith is gay! 1 stars
9/29/06 yumyum complete garbage. 1 stars
9/05/06 The Maz This was lame. Kevin Smith, you suck. 2 stars
8/29/06 laura schofield AWESOME 5 stars
8/29/06 Kevin One word. Perfect. It was everything it needed to be 5 stars
8/24/06 Rapunzel Gladstone BARELY avg. J&SB were SO much better with Eliza Dushpu, Ali Farter, and Shannon Elizabeth! 3 stars
8/21/06 Sam well I thought i was fucking halrious 5 stars
8/12/06 nicolecrom2678 A must see 5 stars
8/10/06 Old Dirty Not as good as the original, but still great 5 stars
8/09/06 Matthew Brown I loved this movie - and unlike the review suggests I thought Clerks II was very funny 5 stars
8/07/06 Nixon This movie was quite hilarious, and I loved it. I've seen it multiple times, actually. 5 stars
8/07/06 Jim Vincent You obviously have no sense of humor and don't understand Smith's childish approach 5 stars
8/07/06 Sloth If you say it sucks then you suck 5 stars
8/06/06 Erik Van Sant Kevin Smith is a bad filmmaker. This is a sterling example. Fun to see the old gang, though 3 stars
8/02/06 jane it was sooooooo funny 5 stars
8/02/06 RugbyBuffy Laughed SO much! Like another Harold and Kumar...except more intelligent. 4 stars
8/01/06 Zoe offensive and not in a good or funny way. in a lame unnecessary way. 1 stars
8/01/06 Yolanda ass to mouth. this is the film equivalent. don't do it! so don't see it... 1 stars
8/01/06 Schooner Awesome! I loved almost every moment of it...a top-three Kevin Smith film 5 stars
8/01/06 raging cajun worse than Jersey Girl. 1 stars
8/01/06 kill me now so bad this movie makes you want to kill yourself 1 stars
8/01/06 Mike V Kevin Smith's shtick is painfully boring. 1 stars
8/01/06 CurtisEarl Exactly what I expect from Kevin Smith - Not gonna win an oscar but, I laughed my ass off. 5 stars
8/01/06 Strangef8 Kevin hits it on the head. I loved it! 5 stars
7/31/06 bob meh, not for me 1 stars
7/31/06 pimp smack this bitch, ho! dis movie SUCKS 1 stars
7/31/06 jeffrey stonard I want my money back 1 stars
7/31/06 eric campos I agree with Chris. 1 stars
7/31/06 kevin bad 1 stars
7/31/06 joefranks simply horrid 1 stars
7/30/06 adam james carolla This is the worst movie i have ever seen. if your a retard you will enjoy the film. 1 stars
7/30/06 Mase Easily the funniest movie i've seen all summer, Kevin Smith is clearly back in his element 5 stars
7/29/06 kaerf Jay's antics never get old. Religious commentary was nice even if morality wins in the end. 4 stars
7/29/06 JockoManjelly Probably his best. The tone of it was perfect. Good balance of silly & serious. 5 stars
7/27/06 Swedgin Agree with review, extremely unfunny and forced 2 stars
7/27/06 davebutt69 It was kevin smith's best movie to date. Jay and silent bob steal the show. Laughed out lou 5 stars
7/27/06 Big Dick DaMooch great fucking movie seen it 3 times 4 stars
7/26/06 Agent Sands Not that I see why everyone's treating it like it's Smith's masterpiece, but it was funny. 4 stars
7/25/06 mwr Only a complete moron could laugh at this borefest 1 stars
7/25/06 Tom Forsdike Excellent laughs, very entertaining. 5 stars
7/24/06 Bebop second only to dogma. 5 stars
7/24/06 ajay funny stuff, I busted up laughing several times throughout... 4 stars
7/24/06 KingNeutron Dogma was better, J&SB Strike Back was better. 3 stars
7/24/06 gromm Awesome comedy! On par with Dogma! 5 stars
7/23/06 malcolm just more of same; a2m description unnecessary OMB 3 stars
7/23/06 Ole Man Bourbon Sigh. Ass to mouth means you fuck an ass with a cock and the girls sucks it. Not asslicki 4 stars
7/23/06 wiltone little man 5 stars
7/22/06 8=======D IT OWNED! 5 stars
7/22/06 A F Hilarious!4.5.... The Lord of The Rings part...."Beautifully fuckin illustrated"-Sickboy TS 5 stars
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  21-Jul-2006 (R)
  DVD: 28-Nov-2006



Directed by
  Kevin Smith

Written by
  Kevin Smith

  Brian O'Halloran
  Jeff Anderson
  Rosario Dawson
  Trevor Fehrman
  Jason Mewes
  Kevin Smith

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