More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 

Overall Rating

Awesome: 8.16%
Worth A Look: 8.16%
Average: 22.45%
Pretty Bad: 16.33%
Total Crap44.9%

5 reviews, 19 user ratings

Latest Reviews

Extra Ordinary by Jay Seaver

Daniel Isn't Real by Jay Seaver

Midsommar by Rob Gonsalves

Blood on Her Name by Jay Seaver

Parasite (2019) by Peter Sobczynski

American Fighter by Jay Seaver

Moon in the Hidden Woods, The by Jay Seaver

Homewrecker (2019) by Jay Seaver

Gemini Man by Jay Seaver

Pain and Glory by Peter Sobczynski

subscribe to this feed

[] Buy posters from this movie
by EricDSnider

"How unmemorable is the story? All anyone can talk about is the udders."
3 stars

In "Barnyard," cows can be either male or female. Both genders have udders. The way you can tell a boy cow from a girl cow is that the girl cows have bows in their hair, like Ms. Pac-Man.

The film, a breezy animated lark written and directed by Steve Oedekerk, doesn't mention what's in those udders that both sexes have. For that matter, the film doesn't acknowledge the existence of the udders at all. They are clearly visible, but there are no jokes or references to them. Milk is mentioned as something teenage cows drink as a form of rebellion -- it's apparently the cow version of beer -- but again, not even an inference of where that milk comes from.

Surely I'm not the only one to find this strange. The movie purports to take place in a comic version of the real world, with its chief joke being that when the humans aren't looking, the animals can stand on their hind legs and speak English. Yet a male cow is a decidedly non-real beast. Furthermore, there is no gender confusion among the other animals here. The roosters are all boys and the hens are all girls. Why are the cows so screwed up? Where is Gary Larson when you need him? I bet he could explain all this.

The animation is reminiscent of Larson's "The Far Side," actually, with pudgy, round-cornered characters who move as if in a medium-grade video game. The film is part of the current trend where cartoons are animated with computers rather than hand-drawn, yet don't take full advantage of computer technology, either. They look cheap, in other words, despite being expensive.

On this sunny, animal-friendly farm run by a vegan farmer, Ben (voice of Sam Elliott) is the head animal in charge, and yes, he's a cow. (Honestly, YOU listen to that gravelly Sam Elliott voice and look at those teats and tell me it's not a little unsettling.) Ben is responsible and sober, completely dedicated to two things: preventing the farmer from knowing the animals' secrets, and keeping the animals safe from harm. He stands watch on a hill every night, looking out for coyotes.

His son Otis (Kevin James), on the other hand, is an unreformed party animal who takes nothing seriously and spends his time cavorting with his mouse friend Pip (Jeffrey Garcia) and a trio of Jersey cows who, true to their heritage, act like Newark thugs. Otis has no interest in taking over his dad's leadership responsibilities but finds himself thrust into it when Ben is incapacitated by a coyote attack.

The story is slight; I just told you almost the whole thing. Numerous scenes exist not to develop the plot or characters but merely to show the animals partying while the farmer's away. Luckily, those sequences are generally zippy and chuckle-worthy, and if the film stuck to just telling its story, it would only be about 45 minutes long.

So, you know, it's fine. It's nothing special. It is free of grating and superfluous pop-culture references, which is nice; it's also free of memorable lines, characters or situations, though. I'm recommending it because it's harmless silliness that kids will enjoy and parents will smile at. Just be prepared to answer some tough questions afterward regarding the difference between boys and girls.

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 08/04/06 14:47:26
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

3/18/16 Charles Tatum Very funny flick generated equally funny TV series 4 stars
4/02/08 zack i like when it goes wild mite mild mite and that fur ball kicks the cyotes asses 5 stars
4/17/07 Stevo UK Male cows r called bulls, n they dont have udders. But not here, oh no... 1 stars
2/04/07 cody a pretty cool with farm animals and awesomes songs. 3 out of 5 3 stars
1/01/07 Carly Diamond i loved the wild mite it look like he was doing a funky cotton eye joe 5 stars
12/15/06 CrAzY ScOrpiON it's so wonderful movie .. but why the males cows have utters ? 5 stars
10/25/06 Mike Very bad movie but it was sooo stupid that I laughed hard a few times. Get drunk and see it 3 stars
10/08/06 Michelle Love it! Laughed from start to finish and went back to see it a second time.... 5 stars
9/24/06 123CATS! One stupid thing-there is a bull and girl and boy cows! it was okay... 4 stars
9/22/06 Gabriela It was a cute movie but the boy cows with udders threw me off. 3 stars
8/29/06 NEDIII Why did the males cows have utters? Is stealing a car, drinking and driving ok? 2 stars
8/28/06 John Aster Habig Males do NOT HAVE UDDERS Never drink anything coming from a male cow aka bull 1 stars
8/24/06 Chad Thomas Good flick for young kids! 3 stars
8/15/06 Mohobbit Boy Cows? I think the name is Bull. I expected more from Nickolodeon than this. 2 stars
8/11/06 Agent Sands Hilarious. Fuck you guys. 4 stars
8/10/06 Dragon The Artist My gut says this is another,campy,not even medieocre, kid comedy.This time w/ crappy CGI. 1 stars
8/09/06 Mansi Dido Okay, but no fried custard. 3 stars
8/08/06 Jessel Why Doesn't Steve just get the sequel to Kung Pao done? 1 stars
8/06/06 Pokejedservo A pleasant surprise, still flawed but it was better than I thought it would be. 4 stars
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:

Discuss this movie in our forum

  04-Aug-2006 (PG)
  DVD: 12-Dec-2006

  20-Oct-2006 (PG)

  21-Sep-2006 (PG)

Directed by
  Steve Oedekerk

Written by
  Steve Oedekerk

  Kevin James
  Courteney Cox
  Sam Elliott
  Danny Glover
  Andie MacDowell
  Wanda Sykes

Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast