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Overall Rating
  Awesome: 28.3%
Worth A Look: 25.79%
Average: 10.69%
Pretty Bad: 14.47%
Total Crap: 20.75%
14 reviews, 75 user ratings
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| Snakes on a Plane |
by Lybarger
"It’s a little better than ‘Anaconda.’"
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A few months ago, my fellow HBS monkey Uri Lessing played me an audio clip from one of the countless fan-produced “Snakes on a Plane” parodies that are swarming through the internet like Nigerian financial proposals. As I was cackling with delight, I told Uri that the actual movie would have a hard time trying to be just as entertaining. I was right.The actual movie has moments of inspired tackiness but not nearly enough to merit its one hour and 45-minute running time. A few sound bites of Samuel L. Jackson (or a low rent imitator) cursing his lungs out sounds hysterically funny in a five-minute QuickTime clip, but it gets old in a feature.
The enthusiasm that Jackson has demonstrated for the film in talk shows seems genuine, and his considerable charm and his unique mastery of a putdown make the film easier to endure. But for “Snakes on a Plane” to work, the antagonists (in this case the title characters) have to give Jackson a run for his money.
They don’t.
Many in the menagerie on this flight from Honolulu to Los Angeles look as if they were close relatives to the computer-generated snake in “Anaconda.” It’s easy to forgive corny lines and gaps in logic (this is about reptiles in flight for crying out loud), but nobody should have to pay hard earned bucks for images that could have been created on an X-Box.
There’s no need to summarize the plot too deeply. The title does that for us. Basically, Jackson plays an FBI agent named Neville Flynn who’s escorting a surfer dude named Shawn (Nathan Phillips). The latter has witnessed a Triad gangster named Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) merciless beat a prosecutor to death.
Eddie’s had his minions load a time released box full of dozens of snakes in order to make sure Flynn and Shawn don’t make it to LA.
Under the bland direction of David R. Ellis (the auteur who gave us “Cellular” and “Final Destination 2”), “Snakes on a Plane” slithers listlessly for 20 minutes until the reptiles finally make their first appearance.
Once the reptiles are set free, there’s a sense of unearned glee as they attack household pets in the hold and drop from overhead compartments.
Occasionally, the snakes act like the serial killers in slasher movies, biting anyone who’s foolish enough to engage in sinful behavior.
As with “Poseidon” and other disaster flicks, you can try to guess who will be come snake bait first, but the fun is somewhat blunted by the fact that you can easily guess who will be joining the Mile High Snake Bite Club.
With half an hour to go, screenwriters John Hefferman, Sebastian Gutierrez and David Dalessandro run out of far-fetched ways to rack up fatalities. The raunchiest sequences are clearly inspired by the wishes of bloggers who waited with baited breath for “Snakes on a Plane” to hit theaters, and admittedly, the vulgar, tacky stuff is the most fun.
Originally, intended for a PG-13 rating, Ellis and his crew tarted the movie up when it became obvious fans would be upset if Jackson didn’t yell his favorite synonym for incest.
Most of “Snakes on a Plane” is still played straight, and when the tone can’t match the outlandishness of the plot, it loses its venom quickly.The best way to enjoy “Snakes on a Plane” is by patrolling the copious sites made by fans or using the official site (www.snakesonaplane.com) to send Samuel L. Jackson phone calls to friends. It’s a shame the folks in Hollywood didn’t outsource more of the final “Snakes on a Plane” to the bloggers who had a better sense of the story’s potential than the professional filmmakers did.
link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=15043&reviewer=382
originally posted: 08/18/06 16:27:27
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USA
18-Aug-2006 (R)
DVD: 02-Jan-2007
UK
18-Aug-2006
Australia
24-Aug-2006
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