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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 25.79%
Average: 10.69%
Pretty Bad: 14.47%
Total Crap: 20.75%

14 reviews, 75 user ratings

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Snakes on a Plane
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by Dawn Taylor

"Okay, so there are these snakes. On a plane."
5 stars

Just in case it slipped under your radar, there's this little movie quietly tip-toeing into theaters called Snakes on a Plane. It's's understandable if you haven't heard about it – there's hardly been any promotional push. There's been a little bit of buzz about it on the Internet but that's about it.

Anyway. Sarcasm aside, Snakes on a Plane is terrific. With the grotesque amount of netgeek obsession and media exposure devoted to this thing, odds were very, very good that it couldn't live up to the hype. And yet, it turns out to be everything that it promises, dialed up to 11. There are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

In the ridiculously efficient set-up, we meet a motorbike-driving kid (Nathan Phillips) who gulps down a Red Bull – marking one of the quickest studio-logo-to-product-placement moments in recent memory – and then witnesses a nasty murder committed by an infamous mobster named Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson). In the blink of an eye, he's whisked into custody by FBI agent Neville Flynn (Samuel "Motherfucking" Jackson) and placed on a plane from Hawaii to L.A., where he'll testify. In order to stop this from happening, Kim's gang loads a metric buttload of poisonous snakes on the plane. And they spray all of the leis that the passengers will be given with pheromones to make the snakes go nuts. Then the plane takes off.

In classic Airport '75 fashion, there's a menu of character types on board like the mother with the baby, the two kids traveling alone, the rich debutante with the purse-dog, the couple returning from their honeymoon, and the blowhard English guy with a snotty attitude. Oh, and a professional kickboxer! All that's missing is a nun with a guitar and a charming little old lady (you know, Helen Hayes is dead, but surely they could have gotten that woman who played the secretary on "The West Wing" if they'd tried). There's also the smarmy pilot (marvelously played by David Koechner, pretty much offering his same character as in Anchorman: The Ron Burgundy Story) and a germ-phobic, Puffy Combs-like rapper (Flex Alexander) and his bodyguards-slash-posse (Kenan Thompson and Keith Dallas).

Naturally, there's also a plucky stewardess (Juliana Margulies) who's on her last flight because she's leaving to go to law school. That's one of those silly throw-away character bits that has absolutely nothing to do with the plot – one can only assume that it was chucked in there so that we think, "Wow ... she must be SMART for a flight attendant!" Because, you know, stupid flight attendants are no help at all when there are snakes! On a plane!!!

In most films this is the point where the screenwriters would slooooowly introduce the snakes, picking off the characters one by one. But no! After crawling through the instrument panels and shorting out a few things so the plane is in jeopardy, all of a sudden there are SNAKES! All over the motherfucking plane!

Director David R. Ellis (Cellular, Final Destination 2) has a way with mayhem, and these snakes don't fool around. They also don't, of course, act anything like actual snakes – herpetologists will have a field day with this flick – and since they're virtually all CGI snakes, they overact worse than Al Pacino doing Shakespeare. They rise up, look straight into the camera, and smile before leaping across long distances to attach themselves to passengers throats, chests, eye sockets and asses. In one case, a man has an unfortunate snake experience while urinating in the plane's bathroom. There is much screaming and hissing and biting and ... oh, it's marvelously stupid. And exciting. And just plain fun.

It's refreshing to see a film patently marketed to a specific audience that was obviously made with a lot of thought and enthusiasm. Ellis & Company knew what we wanted from a movie called Snakes on a Plane and they gleefully deliver it, ignoring all sorts of logic because they know that the audience won't care. How the hell did a snake get into a folded up air sickness bag, for God's sake? If the plan was to release angry, poisonous snakes on the plane, why is there also a fucking enormous BOA CONSTRICTOR in the mix? (So we can see it swallow a guy's entire head, that's why!) Wheeee!

Every over-the-top element is delivered without apology, including the product placements – a lone can of Pepsi is wheeled down the aisle on a beverage cart, label squarely facing forward. Pelligrino water is poured, and a Sony Playstation figures prominently in the plot. There's that Red Bull at the top of the film, which makes a second appearance when Flynn tosses the empty can, sealed in an evidence bag, on the table during his interrogation as he demands, "Why do you keep feeding me this garbage?" Which, when you think of it, probably isn't the sort of endorsement the Red Bull people were hoping for.

And Jackson ... ahhh, Jackson. He plays the whole thing with such charm and sincerity, he helps to sell the whole ludicrous package. He's an action star to be reckoned with, and there will undoubtedly be sequels. Snakes on a Submarine, no doubt. And Piranhas on a Schoolbus. And they'll be terrible ... but for now, we have Snakes on a Plane, and it rocks.

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originally posted: 08/19/06 03:21:29
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User Comments

6/22/15 David Hollingsworth I wouldn't even recommend this for dogs. 1 stars
7/10/11 Dr.Lao FIlm makers showing their honest contempt for their audience 1 stars
7/10/11 Jennifer Barr alright, although it just seemed so predictible thru out 3 stars
12/26/10 Blue Shark Dude ... The people who don't get it are Republicans anyway ... so no loss. 5 stars
6/01/10 User Name Snakes On A Plane aims low, and hits lower. 2 stars
10/25/09 Miss Snake The best fun a movie could offer. The fake looking CGI snakes are hysterically funny. 4 stars
7/25/09 Jeff Wilder Works better if you view it as a comedy rather than as a thriller. 3 stars
3/07/08 SamanthaPayntr it definitely delivered, there were snakes and they were on a plane, pretty good stuff 3 stars
7/27/07 TreeTiger A piece of cinematic shit - I recommend... Anything BUT this... 1 stars
7/11/07 Tiffany Losco I thought it was ok, but I didn't like the blonde bimbo in the bathroom 2 stars
4/02/07 CAB I was expecting Leslie Nielsen to show up at any minute… 2 stars
3/29/07 Your mom Assholes, this movie is the worst shit ever.STUPID. ASS. HOLES. 1 stars
2/27/07 Asian God 94 The BEST B-grade horror movie of all time! Compulsary Viewing 5 stars
2/19/07 JM Synth No where near as fun, or silly, as it should have been 3 stars
2/14/07 Prada it was sooo.. bad it was actually good 3 stars
2/05/07 MickT Samuel L. Jackson is the biggest sell-out EVER!! what a piece of shit this film is!!! 1 stars
2/03/07 Indrid Cold Upside: it's as exciting as a snakes/planes movie could possibly be. Downside: ditto. 3 stars
2/02/07 Anthony Feor People expect us to take this movie seriously? 0.5/5 1 stars
1/22/07 Matt It should be clasified as COMEDY 5 stars
1/19/07 Jeff Brown pitiful 1 stars
1/14/07 Sugarfoot It felt like an Airport sequel. Overall not as fun as I thought it would be. 2 stars
1/09/07 Matt Get a life, have a laugh - this is FUN,FUN,FUN! 4 stars
12/10/06 JoKimiKo the movie is AwsOme but ur REviEw! is craP 1 stars
11/18/06 Lerker You are the worst reveiwer. Ever. 1 stars
11/17/06 Nick So, you gave Borat 1 Star, but SOAP 5 Stars? I do not comprehend your thought process. 3 stars
11/11/06 Serge Piece of crap IMO. Snakes on crack...har har. 2 stars
10/28/06 DIANA a movie to watch on tv if nothing else to watch 2 stars
10/25/06 Drew G So bad it was good... 3 stars
10/13/06 Erin Get out of the mud u sticks, it was great fun!!! 4 stars
10/09/06 Mike Nothing great to me. Something to watch if really bored. 2 stars
9/30/06 NiCk Great movie! Was Pulp Fiction good because of its plot? 5 stars
9/21/06 malcolm awful, but a lot of damn fun 3 stars
9/13/06 Edward Connell A purposefull movie that will lead you on an adventure in excitement and possibility. 4 stars
9/12/06 Louise Good fun and a pretty tense ride!!! 4 stars
9/12/06 Michael Coovert Samuel Jackson's stock just plumeted in my book!! Total schtick and effects fodder!!! 1 stars
9/12/06 Kevin Ramsay "Snakes On A Plane" is pure fun. Don't take it too seriously, though. 5 stars
9/11/06 Aaron This move was a blast! 4 stars
9/03/06 Christopher Stucky The hype WAS the story. The movie was an afterthought. 1 stars
9/02/06 Stubby If you all were any stupider, you'd have to be told when to breathe. Kill yourselves. 1 stars
8/31/06 Christine it was soooooo awesome I want to see it over and over again 5 stars
8/28/06 Serina Boccello COME ON!! who honestly wants to see THIS movie!! SNAKES AGGHHH!!! 2 stars
8/28/06 Grant Funny, well acted, stupid jokes, scenes and endless funny deaths. 5 stars
8/27/06 Alan Snakes on a Plane happens 5 stars
8/26/06 Mike D Only movie I've seen in this year that got a standing ovation from the entire theater! 5 stars
8/26/06 michael average and wait for the DVD 4 stars
8/26/06 Stanley Thai Still an average thriller without the famous title. Nothing special. 3 stars
8/26/06 Alex Thorne does exactly what it says on the tin. gruesomly marvellous 4 stars
8/25/06 Robert Blanton Mr. Souter nailed this snake right on the head! 2 stars
8/25/06 Zaw Snakes bites.. lol 5 stars
8/24/06 philip Corcos corcos 5 stars
8/23/06 Centipedes "Snakes? On MY plane?" It's more likely than you think. 5 stars
8/23/06 Quigley much more violent than I thought; sex scene pointless; but Sam Jackson and the snakes rock 4 stars
8/22/06 A. Shah The best time I've had in a movie since I was a kid. I'm now 33. 5 stars
8/22/06 Pn. 1000 fanboys collaborated on the script. That it's schwag should surpise no one. 2 stars
8/22/06 danthewrestlingman Snakes On A Motherfuckin Plane Beeoch Nuff Said 5 stars
8/22/06 Ole Man Bourbon Not enough snakes. JIMMIE BELLE TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMN CAPS LOCK. 3 stars
8/22/06 Sammy J. This movie is the most balla shit eva! 5 stars
8/22/06 Harold You are all tools. 1 stars
8/21/06 Captain Highcrime Not since the glory days of "Married...with Children" have audiences been so boisterous. 5 stars
8/21/06 Jeff Martin Awesome movie, great fun and entertainment, brianorndorf is full of crap in his review 5 stars
8/20/06 ajay go in a packed theatre of nerds who "get it". Otherwise, it's horrible. 4 stars
8/20/06 ray best time i've had at the movies in years. great cinema? maybe not. still fun. 5 stars
8/19/06 Alex S AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME 5 stars
8/19/06 Nads Snakes on a muthafuckin' PLANE! 5 stars
8/19/06 KingNeutron Decent; some really scary parts. Take S.O. to see it. 4 stars
8/19/06 Jesus WAAAY better than expected... ridiculous, stupid, and amazing! 1 stars
8/19/06 Keith This movie was boring. What is up with Snakes on a plane who cares. A total waste of money. 1 stars
8/19/06 Kent Battersby Best. Movie. Ever...SNAKE VISION!!! 5 stars
8/19/06 Adrian It's fun. It's that simple. No thinking, no shit liek that, just fun. 5 stars
8/18/06 Joe Baldwin The audience makes all the difference. Laughter and applause filled the room for 2 hours. 5 stars
8/18/06 Andrew The most fun I've had in a theatre... EVER. 5 stars
8/18/06 Doug Higley Absolute BEST B Horror Ever. Total Fun at breakneck pacing. 5 stars
8/18/06 Squibner Welch Fantastic fun 5 stars
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  18-Aug-2006 (R)
  DVD: 02-Jan-2007



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