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Overall Rating

Awesome: 19.7%
Worth A Look42.42%
Average: 1.52%
Pretty Bad: 13.64%
Total Crap: 22.73%

5 reviews, 36 user ratings

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by Collin Souter

"It's either the best or the worst endorsement for RedBull ever"
4 stars

One thingís for certain: Youíve never seen a movie quite like Crank before. Sure, the movie has been inviting comparisons to the equally stylistic and frenetic Running Scared (from earlier this year) with a storyline that derives from D.O.A. (either version), but that still doesnít quite prepare you for the audacity, hilarity and absurdity that takes place within the filmís 87-minute running time. Itís a movie that dares to ďgo thereĒ just to see what would happen if it did. It moves at such a pace that you donít really have time to process everything thatís happening, but itís better if you donít stop to think, because that would probably ruin the experience. At times, Crankís everything-including-the-kitchen-sink-and-then-some approach feels more like a cartoon than a video game. It really wouldnít be unheard of if the main character picked up an anvil out of nowhere and dropped it on someoneís head.

Some viewers might walk out as though an anvil fell on their head, but thatís part of the intent. The storyline concerns a freelance hitman named Chev Chelios (The Transporterís Jason Statham), who wakes up one morning and learns a poison has been injected in him. In a frantic search to find the culprit, a crime boss named Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), Chev learns from his doctor/dealer Miles (Dwight Yoakam) that if he slows his heart rate down, the poison will kill him instantly. Chev needs to keep his adrenaline racing as he waits for his doctor friend to fly into L.A. to give him the only known antidote.

First-time filmmakers Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor try every stylistic approach in the book to put us in Chevís mind as he runs from situation to situation. A car chase ends up in a shopping mall without so much as a second thought; Chevís adventure in a hospital results in a drug inducement that sends him spiraling into blissful, hyperactive madness; even the passersby in Chinatown are treated to a show on the street as Chev and his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) go to unspeakable, unthinkable lengths to keep Chevís heart rate up. You just know throughout all of this that everyone involved in the movie had the same thought: "Being so wrong has never felt so right." Itís quite the spectacle.

But that sentence could also sum up the rest of the movie. This should be a negative criticism, but the movie feels as though it were constructed out of one-sentence suggestions from the editors of Maxim magazine on how to create the ultimate movie. Unlike that magazine, though, Crankís sense of machismo has its endearing moments. Chev turns into a different person when he finally hooks up with Eve. In spite of his condition, which he keeps secret from her for a while, he remains a dutiful and upstanding boyfriend. In one scene, Eve has a case of the hiccups. We wait for Chev to turn ugly on her by demanding that she drink some water. Instead, he ignores it. He might be able to push over ailing patients in a hospital, but he still has to be nice to his girlfriend.

Crank is not for everyone and thereís no doubt the film will have its share of detractors. Lions Gate kept this film from the major critics and screened it only for the junket whores. I canít figure out why. Did they think that its un-P.C. nature would cause us all to spit bile at the film? I would think this would be the kind of film a critic loves to write about, no matter what their reaction. Itís one of those movies where you just donít know where to begin in talking about it. Love it or hate it, Crank makes for a far more rewarding experience than your average, no-frills mistaken identity comedy or serial killer thriller. At least this movie takes chances, right up until the final frame, and thatís reason enough to cheer for itÖkitchen sink, anvil and all.

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originally posted: 09/04/06 08:37:14
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User Comments

12/29/17 morris campbell hyper silly crap a action movie for 5 year olds 1 stars
10/14/17 danR hate/love movie, the ratings show; proof this crackhead piece of genius hit nerves. 5 stars
3/03/11 chris c Crazy, profane and violent- a near trip back into 80's action 4 stars
2/20/11 Ark Awesome fun! Him on the motorbike and with gf in public was great! 4 stars
9/07/09 Dave utter utter crap 1 stars
2/16/09 Adrian AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 5 stars
12/10/08 matt a very entertaining thrill ride, with a surprising amount of substance. 4 stars
9/10/08 Borat cool action movie 4 stars
7/20/08 Shaun Wallner Jason Statham is Awesome!! 5 stars
8/29/07 Matt Fasten steabelt and enjoy one of the dumbest rollercoaster rides of the year. Good fun! 4 stars
7/02/07 Edwin Manguin Good premise, pile of shite of a film 1 stars
7/01/07 Grist Pure shite for the ignorant masses 1 stars
6/05/07 Mark Louis Baumgart Holy Moley Batman, this was a damn lot of fun, funny and fast moving. Entertaining as hell! 5 stars
5/24/07 Dave bad 1 stars
5/15/07 Tracey Chambers I loved it but I would pay to watch jason statham read a newspaper 5 stars
2/17/07 Indrid Cold Awesome idea and fairly entertaining, but no truly outrageous stunts or action scenes. 3 stars
1/18/07 Charles Tatum Yup, great idea and a technique that more than overstays its welcome 2 stars
1/12/07 Mike I was very disappointed. Great idea but this movie just sucked 1 stars
1/11/07 Jiz Hillariously excessive, yet badass. Popcorn never tasted so good. 5 stars
1/11/07 action movie fan overdirected but exciting chase hit man film--good action 4 stars
1/05/07 Johnny Chopsocky An art film of pure total gratuitous excess. 5 stars
12/01/06 brett Pretty crappy 2 stars
10/17/06 lqwandera Unique, new kind of action movie 4 stars
10/16/06 William Goss An almost peversely watchable stunt showcase spectacular, if nothing else. 4 stars
9/20/06 costars I'm a little old lady & i loved it. It was great fun. 4 stars
9/19/06 PD Mean spirited plotless jagoff for sociopathic video game recluses. Wast of Statham. 1 stars
9/19/06 Ben I hated it, and i Hate everyone that liked it. 5 stars
9/19/06 Luckdeezy If you didnt like this movie...your either a lame old lady or a square...GREAT MOVIE!! 5 stars
9/12/06 Ole Man Bourbon Amusing 5 stars
9/09/06 Grendelynden Don't bother with this, if you like Jason Statham go watch the Transporter films. 1 stars
9/07/06 captain shitkicker best film ever made!! all you other faggots quit whining and just enjoy it!!!! 5 stars
9/06/06 Kathy Patterson One of my top 10 worst films 1 stars
9/03/06 KingNeutron Original and fun - and the soundtrack was fantastic. 4 stars
9/03/06 brian chinatown indeed! 5 stars
9/03/06 Carlos Dinea CRANK is KING. Straight Bananas! Chinatown scene will go down in history!!! 5 stars
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  01-Sep-2006 (R)
  DVD: 09-Jan-2007



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