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Entrapment

Reviewed By Chris Parry
Posted 07/02/99 03:15:51

"It's a movie about two ass cheeks. Nice ass cheeks, but still..."
3 stars (Average)

You could pretty much guarantee that anyone who went to see this film in it's opening week was either really bored, or had seen that trailer shot of Catherine Zeta-Jones sliding her spandex-clad ass under laser-beams one too many times. Why? Because if you take the derriere in question out of the equation... no movie.

And that's a pity, because Zeta-Jones can really act. No, really. Without her, Mask Of Zorro would have sunk like a stone. Just as Jen Lopez did in Out Of Sight, Zeta-Jones gave Zorro enough oomph, strength and sex appeal to make the slow bits (and Anthony Hopkins' awful eye-liner) not register.

So old Jurassic Bond himself, Sean Connery, manages to get an action-adventure film started. An action adventure film that boasts a Ron Bass script (guaranteed to make anyone with a half-full container of popcorn take real interest in their popcorn) and an interminable 'sense-of-disbelief' requirement. He knows he's going to lose his shirt on this thing. He's 108 and expected to be Action Jackson. The dialogue sounds like something George Lucas would pen. So what does he do?

What would you do? You find the best ass in the business and point the camera at it. Sadly, Jen Lopez wasn't available, so they got the second best ass instead.

It was a good call, because this way at least half the audience (probably more than half looking at the trailer) were only there to see some patch.

Entrapment, as a script, does not deliver. Entrapment, as a perv-piece, delivers for a few minutes and then gets real old real quick. Entrapment, as an action adventure film... actually kicks some ass.

Yes, it's all bollocks. Yes, it could never happen. Yes, the leads should die six hundred times throughout the two hours. But there's enough Hong Kong Action in this film to almost get it by. Not fighting, just suspense. I found myself on the edge of my seat for the entire last act. Granted, my feet were still on the seat in front of me, a decidely uncomfortable position, but credit where it's due - if you can get past the romantic angle without having flashbacks to that time when you were four when hairy uncle Harry tried to give you a bath, and if you leave the theatre three minutes before the finish, you could do a lot worse.

I could rehash the story for you, but seriously, if you're going to this film for the story, you'll want to see something else. But if a bit of mindless action, or gratuitous close-ups of the female anus are your thing, then voila!

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