"Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big log."
"Lake Placid" is a movie that defies critiscm, so I'm not even going to try. I'm going to focus, rather, on the subtext--that of the homoerotic variety. Yes, you guessed, "Lake Placid" is more than just another cheap "Jaws" knockoff--it's actually a perceptive, cutting look at modern relationships, gay and straight.David E. Kelley's script focuses on two couples: one is composed of a foxy palientologist (Bridget Fonda, capable of so much more} and her fish and game beau (Bill Pullman, seeming more and more like a cut-rate Shatner}. I must say, this couple is pretty boring. Their relationship obviously won't last, as evidenced by the plethora of stale one liners they toss at each other. The second couple, though--ooh, they're a knockout.
I am talking, of course, about Bredan Gleeson's tubby sheriff and the equally tubby eccentric played by Oliver Platt (mugging like there's no tomorrow, as usual}. The two go through the normal romantic comedy paces--first they hate each other, but soon they come to realize that they share a deep affection for each other. They grudgingly fall in love, and in the process Kelley gets in some nihlistic social jabs, ala Neil LaBute or Todd Solondz.
The story unfolds as a giant crocodile rages and Betty White thinks up creative ways to use the word fuck (my personal favorite: she calls Gleeson "Sheriff Fuckmeat"}. Director Steve Miner works his legendary "Friday the 13th Part II" magic, creating loud jump scenes (instead of the traditional horror film cat, he employs a menacing turtle} that are almost effective.The term "sucks all ass" was created for this film. Avoid it at all costs. And if you do go see it, never say the good Chef ADogg didn't warn ya.