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Overall Rating

Awesome: 9.86%
Worth A Look: 13.38%
Average: 8.45%
Pretty Bad: 8.45%
Total Crap59.86%

2 reviews, 130 user ratings

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Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
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by brianorndorf

"I'm starting to think 20th Century Fox hates us all"
1 stars

I can’t imagine anyone on the planet received a bigger present this Christmas morning than Paul W.S. Anderson. While his profoundly sullied name hasn’t been rescued from the pits of directorial reputation hell, he can now take comfort in the knowledge that he hasn’t directed the worst film to feature Aliens and Predators.

When an Alien/Predator hybrid crashes his spaceship in small town Colorado, it kicks off a series of deaths that trigger the attention of the Predator home world. Sending off a top hunter, the Predator comes to Earth on the trail of the Aliens, following them into the community, where they’ve gone about their business slaughtering the locals and sending Facehuggers out to boost the population numbers. When a band of survivors team up to search for safety, they find not only must they elude the extraterrestrial infestation, but the government as well, who wants to contain the outbreak for study.

It boggles the mind to even contemplate how dreadful “Requiem” is. The map leading to quality was clearly laid out by Anderson’s moronic work with his 2004 installment “AVP,” and any filmmaker with half a brain could’ve manufactured something that restores a little of the glossy ferociousness that marked both the “Alien” and “Predator” franchise over the last three decades with minimal effort. Instead, we meet directorial newcomers Colin and Greg Strause (billed as “The Brothers Strause”), two random FX flunkies who turn this sequel into a vile, joyless, murky, moronic, amateurish, contemptuous, numbing, unintentionally hilarious, and thoroughly diseased motion picture. It’s a perfect film for the Scrooges out there who like their multiplex fodder crude and unrelentingly insulting.

I bashed Anderson’s take on the material for the cartoon directions it turned. After all, reimagining Predators as stubby football linebackers and staging the flaccid action in a series of cheap-looking sets wasn’t exactly an invitation to view filmmaking ingenuity. However, Anderson is Welles compared to the Brothers Strause, who tear through the film without the slightest clue what they’re doing, blindly foraging through the script for the nastiest bits of bodily harm to exploit for the marketing. The boys have no idea how to instruct actors, stage action, explore visual effects, or tell a story. Their function is primarily to oversee madness and somehow pull 80-minutes of tripe together for 20th Century Fox to sell to lenient fanboys flush with holiday cash.

As much derision as the Brothers Strause deserve, there are several components faulty with “Requiem,” starting with the cinematography by Daniel Pearl, who prefers to light his frame with all the illumination power of a birthday candle. If “Requiem” wasn’t horrible enough of a picture to start with, it’s also impossible to view, with entire chunks of the narrative and action lost to total darkness that seems to defeat the purpose of the shiny new R-rating. Instead, the audience has to squint to see the bloodshed or decipher the expressions (and I use that term ironically) on the actors. It’s also futile to figure out what the Aliens and Predators are doing at any given moment of the film. Call me a snob, but I actually enjoying the luxury of watching a movie, not sitting with a black screen listening to a tiresome symphony of hacky sound effects. After shooting “Captivity” and “Pathfinder” this year to equally exasperating results, Daniel Pearl should be run out of the business.

Shane Salerno’s screenplay is another deadly tool of “Requiem,” placing an interstellar war in the middle of a “Saved by the Bell” episode, as one of our “heroes” deals with a bland high school crush and persistent teen bullies. The script is really a patchwork quilt of clichés, with every single human merely a bookmark for later monster consumption. It doesn’t help matters to have bottom-of-the-barrel actors running around the film, but that doesn’t excuse the script’s stupidity and bottom-feeding nature. Oh, Salerno not only uses adults as Alien/Predator prey, but little kids, pregnant women strapped to hospital beds, and even throws in threatened newborns to satisfy his black heart.

Hey, I was as openly hostile as anyone toward the neutered PG-13 rating of “AVP,” but “Requiem” rides its R-rating to bleak horizons, replacing the escapism of the scares with puzzling hostility. The anger culminates in a conclusion that’s as reckless, cynical, and spineless as anything put onscreen this year; a middle-finger to the paying crowd.

The initial wave of “Alien” films and the first “Predator” were mighty classics of cinema; scrappy gorefests that took immense care building characterization and treated dramatic payoff like the ultimate dessert. “Requiem” is nothing more than a glorified Sci-Fi Channel Original, teeming with bargain-basement production values, tiring waves of stupidity, and a promise (or threat) of another installment to come. My word, haven’t the faithful suffered enough?

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originally posted: 12/26/07 08:44:11
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User Comments

1/28/16 Jack didn't like it all that much 2 stars
1/08/16 David Hollingsworth worst piece of crap ever 1 stars
11/02/11 Jon Ever try finding your way through your dark home at 3am? That's this movie. 1 stars
7/22/11 Wotorious This movie felt exactly like Species 2. 2 stars
5/15/11 stephen nettles Better than the first 3 stars
3/27/10 GC Predator in a saved by the bell episode.Nordorf review says it all. 1 stars
1/16/10 mr.mike It did need better lighting. 3 stars
8/02/09 Irastev One of the most incompetent movies I've seen 1 stars
4/23/09 Sugarfoot How much rape can a franchise take? 1 stars
3/09/09 Total Crap This movie SUCKED...HARD! There is no lighting at all during the action scenes. AVOID!! 1 stars
8/29/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
7/02/08 Jack Spot on review; sub-moronic delivery of dull and/or depraved ideas. AVOID AT ALL COSTS. 1 stars
6/20/08 DK Entertaining enough SCI-FI mash up. 3 stars
6/12/08 Jayson Did we even need another sequel? 1 stars
6/09/08 Ivana Mann I couldn't see a goddamn thing...too dark. Inexcusable, piss-poor production design! 1 stars
6/03/08 Tim Generally entertaining - the irritating teens aside 4 stars
5/23/08 Charles Tatum Vile, inane, of the worst films ever made 1 stars
5/18/08 kim what a piece of shit. who kills babies in movies, implied...what a pair of sick f#@@%% 1 stars
5/18/08 mark madsen I totally hate movies that are shot dark. I like to see the movie and not just shawdows . 1 stars
4/16/08 action movie fan some good moments and decent stoyr but could have been more intense 3 stars
3/11/08 Aliens #1 Fan why the love stories? i can care less 1 stars
3/05/08 rustr well i thought it was great. all you winey babies think you re even fans and cant appretiat 5 stars
2/08/08 tom lowik great movie 5 stars
2/04/08 Advantus Awesome for a fan of the series. Must see!!! 4 stars
1/27/08 Alice Just average but expected it 3 stars
1/22/08 gcc Why?Why are these movies being made?Insluting to the original A and P 2 stars
1/16/08 Ben B Absolutely awful. Would rather take a bullet than watch a second time 1 stars
1/16/08 Ole Man Bourbon Heinously awful story. Poor visuals--often can't even see what's happening. 1 stars
1/16/08 gerald s derivative of better movies. Cool deaths only redeaming feature. 3 stars
1/14/08 Fry This is a brutal rape of both the Predator and Alien concepts, and an insult to the viewer. 1 stars
1/10/08 Chris Barlow I could have made a better A & P movie. Dumb, lame, cliched. Thanks Brothers Shitsville. 1 stars
1/10/08 LD Glad that I did not listen to the fools and enjoyed this one ... better than AVP1 A3 and P2 4 stars
1/10/08 Rick Where to start? Hard to tell when you you couldnt see anything. Very dark. Not enough light 1 stars
1/08/08 Kelvin easily the worst alien movie - I didn't care for a single character in it - all just fodder 1 stars
1/07/08 Ryan It's ludicrous to mention "Welles" when reviewing a film like this! 3 stars
1/07/08 alien fan almost felt like I was watching 90210 for awhile! the pizza delivery guy getting bullied? 3 stars
1/07/08 I-K Goes to show there's no premise so fertile as to be immune to hamfisted, talentless hacks. 1 stars
1/06/08 Darnizm As expected, guts and gore, bad casting. Hospital was not needed 3 stars
1/05/08 Rei Fight scenes were good, did not like seeing pregnant women and babies being killed. 2 stars
1/05/08 Evans I give it one star cos that's the lowest rating available on your list. 1 stars
1/05/08 Aliens and Predator fan since the 80's. Complete and utter SHIT. By far the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. 1 stars
1/04/08 Lin "little kids, pregnant women" Yeah... You do realize the Xenomorphs don't discriminate? 4 stars
1/04/08 Jim I especially hated when the Predator "Wolf" took his sweet time taking his mask off 1 stars
1/04/08 marcell rodriguez rullan,a.k.a the biggest avp fan ever i adored the first avp film,but avp r crushingly disappointed me,i thought it was going to 2 stars
1/04/08 Nick Harris I begged after the movie for $7.50 so I could justify seeing this total piece of crap. 1 stars
1/04/08 Richard 'Teen horror' pathetic movie, could of made so much more-stay away 2 stars
1/04/08 KAGE If I could have actually seen the aliens I might have given it 3 stars, perfect review. 2 stars
1/03/08 Derek Blair Bad camera editing and pushed the envelope too far, killing pregenat women is to far. 1 stars
1/03/08 Marc If this movie sucked even more than it already does, it would have "Hoover" in its title. 1 stars
1/03/08 Bryan Johnson 5 stars
1/03/08 CRB R-rated movie, made for 20+ year old douche bags who watch mtv real world...lame lame lame. 1 stars
1/03/08 el barto This might very well be the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. 1 stars
1/03/08 James Only an idiot would enjoy this. My waterbill scares me more. Tasteless, pointless. 1 stars
1/02/08 bill gibron "prey on little kids, pregnant women strapped to hospital beds".. cool! its called horror! 4 stars
1/01/08 SL Awful, don't waste your money neither your time on this 1 stars
12/31/07 John Better than the first, kept with the mythos, gave me the action I wanted. 4 stars
12/31/07 Dallas Sorry, liked it. What you would expect if they came here 4 stars
12/30/07 dan tunks character developemnt? its a sci-fi movie its not a halle barry movie just kills some peopl 5 stars
12/30/07 Die Fat Nerd Virgin Die OK AvsP losers, you've seen your lousy movie now go back to jerking off to porn. It sucked. 1 stars
12/30/07 a johnson this was the worst movie ever. To use pregnant woman and newborn babies as victims awfu 1 stars
12/30/07 Wolfrider Total garbage - they ruined the franchise w/ this -- MINUS 5 stars, dont waste $$ 1 stars
12/30/07 CF Total shit, I didn't even sit through it. I love A and P movies but this movie sucked balls 2 stars
12/29/07 Karsten Walker I only hired you because your counselor asked me, no you only hired me cause shes hot ugh 3 stars
12/29/07 disappointed fan total crap, worse than the first 1 stars
12/29/07 Alex Is there not a way to give less than one star? 1 stars
12/29/07 Jay Bone Great movie, love the dark feel, sound was amazing, reminded me of the old Alien and Predat 5 stars
12/29/07 YungJazz No plot, too dark to see, boring violence.To Vicious, no, that was not entertainment. 1 stars
12/29/07 R The writers really need a girlfriend if they think exploding uterus are cool. 1 stars
12/29/07 Brian Mckay Adds nothing new to the Mythos, but much better than AvP or A3 or A:R 4 stars
12/29/07 pepper I actually liked this movie (minus a few gory parts). Music=Great,Reiko Alysworth=HOT 4 stars
12/29/07 Robert Movie was barely entertaining and predictable, not fun at all 1 stars
12/29/07 Roy Smith If you liked Transformers you'll like this, and please don't breed. 1 stars
12/28/07 Derek Pablum for 5th Grade Minds and 3rd Grade Mentalities 1 stars
12/28/07 Max Fisher I didnt have high expectations but still this failed on every level possible. 1 stars
12/28/07 yout mom stfu complaining assholes..its only entertainement if youre not happy go see harry pot shit 4 stars
12/28/07 Vicious Dissapointment. How can anyone do worse than Paul Anderson? 1 stars
12/28/07 Adam blood, and gore is not entertainment. if i wanted that i'd go to a meat packing facility 1 stars
12/28/07 Adam A retarded monkey with no arms could write a better script! 1 stars
12/28/07 avp WTF...this movie is such a waste of time.i`m a fan of both and even avp,but this is trash. 1 stars
12/28/07 raul valdez jr yeah another movie you people bitch and complain about GROW UP 5 stars
12/28/07 BJ Da Pimpdactyl Why can't they make this movie in the future like it's supposed to be? Like the books! 3 stars
12/28/07 Hindu Driver Terrible, what retard green lights this crap to be made. Talk about money to burn. 1 stars
12/28/07 Clark The best part of this "movie" was a musical cue from the original "Predator". It's that bad 1 stars
12/28/07 DonJohnston Should go down as the WORST movie of last decade. 1 stars
12/27/07 John There is such great material here, how do these morons keeping pissing on the franchises? 1 stars
12/27/07 HorusTheFalcon It's AvP-R NOT Alien 5 or Predator 3, stupid comments... 5 stars
12/27/07 Serena Williams Rules Amateurish, Boring! Only loser virgin horror nerds could like/make this made for TV crap! 1 stars
12/27/07 Nunol The 2nd best predator film. Have to watch it in DLP 5 stars
12/27/07 Jimi It's so badly done - no flow, no pace, no suspense... Even AvP is more solid, & that's bad! 1 stars
12/27/07 Lou I thought it was better than the first one but very dark filming. 4 stars
12/27/07 Pat So bad I had to laugh. So bad it insults the earlier movies 1 stars
12/27/07 Michael Terrible movie 1 stars
12/27/07 Mr.Reed This movie made me want to bash my head on desk repeatedly, nuff' said. 1 stars
12/27/07 Jovian make no mistake, this movie was a pile of steaming shit. 1 stars
12/27/07 Brian I want to punch somebody in the face after getting suckered into this BS. Fans should riot 1 stars
12/27/07 Joe Requiem finally delivers what AvP could not. 4 stars
12/27/07 Bill Laughably horrible. Throw in an extra star for that particularly horrible scene in the mat 2 stars
12/27/07 jjfresh It was exactly what i was expection! Great avp action and gore!! 4 stars
12/27/07 nitz23 what a pile of steaming dog shite. This may be the worst movie in human history. 1 stars
12/27/07 Steve All i want is a movie with just aliens and predator killing each other, thats it! 2 stars
12/27/07 Merton Muffley C'mon, it wasn't meant to be a great movies or even a good movie. 5 stars
12/27/07 Joel I enjoyed the "mothra vs godzilla" battle scenes and the 80's slasher film cliches. 4 stars
12/27/07 Jim simply a terrible amateurish film..devoid of any redeeming moments 1 stars
12/27/07 Chris Makes aliens look like pathetic bugs,Hardly deserves to have VS in the title 1 stars
12/27/07 Clay Better than expectations; great music score; you'll like if you were alive in 80s 4 stars
12/27/07 David I couldn't agree more fully with Briandorf. 1 stars
12/27/07 The Dread Pirate Roberts No plot, character development, lighting, or point at all. Worst A or P movie ever 1 stars
12/27/07 Glenn Horrible....Hollywood has no respect for the paying customer 1 stars
12/27/07 Jack What a waste. Another example of "buy into the trailer", buy a ticket to the movie. 1 stars
12/27/07 Andy i loved the first avp movie, but this one is trash.. i felt let down 1 stars
12/27/07 Joe M. If you've seen ANY A/P movies, don't see this one. If I could, i'd rate it 0 1 stars
12/27/07 vIncent Should have gone straight to video! Couldn't they afford lighting? 1 stars
12/27/07 Bob Very enjoyable film. Bit dark in places, and dodgily edited, but the unrated DVD should fix 5 stars
12/26/07 Jesse Graham I knew you'd cry about the baby scene spoiled artsy farty wuss!!!! 5 stars
12/26/07 Normal "Stop whining, it's only entertainment." What if I wasn't entertained? 2 stars
12/26/07 Ryan Absolutely painful to watch-total waste of my time and money,cheesy dialogue,acting,no plot 1 stars
12/26/07 Ryan Absolutely a waste of time and money. Why even have people in the movie? 1 stars
12/26/07 V I am A and P fan...still horrible. "Predator kicked ass" is hardly a measure of quality. 1 stars
12/26/07 Ralph Needs to be seen in digital with brite projection lamp, lots of action 4 stars
12/26/07 JP distasteful to the point of retardedness, seriously 1 stars
12/26/07 Joe Blaze Plain and simple if your not a A or P fan. Your going to hate it. 4 stars
12/26/07 Joe C The movie may lack character development, but doesn't lack AvP action, fans should watch. 4 stars
12/26/07 ctkillmer this reviewer should stop waiting for the 10 that never happens and enjoy what he used to w 4 stars
12/26/07 John Stop whining, it's only entertainment. Personally, I loved it, and the predator kicked ass. 5 stars
12/26/07 Brandon I feel like a total sucker for buying into the nifty trailer. Criminal what they have done. 1 stars
12/26/07 mike too dark to even know what's going on. pretty lame. i'm very disappointed 2 stars
12/26/07 Dan Yeah, okay, but did you like it? 3 stars
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  DVD: 15-Apr-2008



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