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Overall Rating

Awesome: 23.91%
Worth A Look: 26.09%
Average: 13.04%
Pretty Bad32.61%
Total Crap: 4.35%

3 reviews, 28 user ratings

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Things to Do in Denver when You're Dead
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by Scott Weinberg

"Thanks a LOT, 'Quentin'!"
2 stars

So ever since Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction made him Orson Welles, many many filmmakers have been rabidly aping Tarantino's crime-drama style. Silly characters who say silly things, but all done very seriously. Throw in some NASTY violence, one true whack-job, some dumb new slang, and a bunch of corpses. BOOM-Direct to video profit.

I rented this one again since I remembered liking it a few years ago. I should have stuck with the memory. It's just another crime-gone-horribly-wrong drama with a few clever scenes. So we have nice guy Jimmy The Saint. He's played with equal portions of both earnest and dull by Andy Garcia. He's hired by a crippled Christopher Walken to scare someone away. That's right. Scare them. So what does he do? He goes out and gets the biggest assortment of wackos to help him simply scare someone. (Me? Destiny Turns on the Radio scared me!) Now call me crazy, but if you get a gang consisting of Christopher Lloyd, William Forsythe and Treat Williams, and then you're SURPRISED when things get all bloody and messy, well then you're a dummy.

Other actors like Fairuza Balk, Jack Warden, Steve Buscemi and Gabrielle Anwar wander in and out of scenes, speaking such inane babblings, you'll think you're watching something that was dubbed into English: "I wanna be the one who makes you thump." and my personal favorite: "I'll shoot you UP the ASS!"

Yeah, it's somewhat fun to watch Treat Williams beat up a corpse and piss in a milk bottle, but such golden nuggets are few and far between. A few special mentions go out though: To Josh Charles for playing perhaps the stupidest person to ever be pulled over in a movie, and to Christopher Walken for uttering the immortal line "Suck my dead dick." (He's crippled, remember? So that line just resonates.)

Everyone is grungy, mostly everyone dies, and a lot of it will leave a nasty taste in your mouth. I never really understood the title, either. They should have called it "Things to do in Movies when You Rip Off Directors who are Overrated to Begin With."

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originally posted: 02/11/00 18:34:42
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell overrated imo sorry 1 stars
9/24/15 mr.mike I found it to be worth watching on YouTube. 3 stars
5/05/14 Concern A simple metaphore eloquently explored. Thematically engaging. Pay attention! 5 stars
1/28/14 NotBrickTamland Clever dialogue, cool nicknames & story 5 stars
10/19/04 Daniel Cecil Brilliant modern film noir. The language is worthy of Shakespeare on the skids. 5 stars
8/16/04 Odessa Excellent, Andy Garcia is great!!! 5 stars
4/06/04 Agent Sands Yes, please stop the Tarantino shit. But, either way, this is deeply flawed but enjoyable. 3 stars
9/29/03 JC A very special movie with deep meanings and again Andy Garcia gave a wonderful performance 5 stars
8/24/03 Mike The characters have character. 5 stars
5/22/03 carrie saw this when it came out and loved it 4 stars
4/19/03 Doug Nicely acted and on the bizarre side but interesting 4 stars
1/13/03 Stevo A bit schlocky but entertaing with pretty memorable characters 4 stars
12/29/02 Jack Sommersby Derivative but colorfully entertaining. Garcia is aces! 4 stars
12/28/02 fg fgfgg 5 stars
11/25/02 Charles Tatum Overblown hooha 1 stars
10/22/02 not needed Nice language 5 stars
7/06/02 Marko Lazarevic Great versatile movie. Not just another ganster movie. 5 stars
2/12/02 Monday Morning The blackest of comedies, which is fine with me. GREAT characters. 5 stars
5/31/01 BrainPan Any movie with a BHTM song is ok by me. Too bad is was . . . 3 stars
3/14/01 The Bomb 69 I liked it, Buscemi's character was not believable though 4 stars
2/25/01 jeroen Just look for the tatoos on Forsythe, 2thumbs up for make up. 3 stars
2/09/01 Bodhi What Tarantino might be like if he had a heart.Mr.Ssh.Cool... 4 stars
7/07/00 Terrie Smith About as exciting as root canal work; Walken as slimy as ever. Buscemi good as "Mr. Shhh". 2 stars
11/07/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster I'd imagine a trip to the cemetery would be near the top of the list , great review Hawkboy 2 stars
4/25/99 mkitterman Your reputation far excedes your skills, Mammy Rammer! 5 stars
3/08/99 Ben Timms Great Cameo from Jenny McCarthy--well, not really, but it's the most interesting thing you 3 stars
2/18/99 Bishop more writers sucking Tarantino's cock. this sucked. 2 stars
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  01-Dec-1995 (R)


  02-Feb-1996 (MA)

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