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Overall Rating

Awesome: 9.21%
Worth A Look32.89%
Average: 13.16%
Pretty Bad: 25%
Total Crap: 19.74%

13 reviews, 74 user ratings

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by Chris Parry

"I gotta admit, I like seeing the Church get a reaming."
4 stars

Yeah, so it wasn't an Exorcist for the 90's. Did you really NEED an Exorcist for the 90's? I sure as hell didn't. The Exorcist for the 70's still works fine. So get that marketing slogan shite out of your mind before taking in Stigmata. This flick is something a little bit different. It's not a horror movie. It's not about spinning heads and vomit. It's a Church slam, and frankly we all need more of those.

"Kevin Smith is a witch! Burrrrrrn himmmm!" was the cry from every hardline Christian this side of Bethlehem. "Dogma is eville! All involved will die horrifically when the fires of hell take them back from whence they cammmmme!" Uh, yeah, you might wanna check out the little flick running in cinema 3 there, Father Jethro. It's just a tad more controversial than the stoner comedy you're all bitchy over.

So Patricia Arquette is a hip happenin' lime green wearing hairdresser who, oh, I dunno, happens to exhibit the wounds of Christ. That'll make your shampoo rinse a little more gross than most. When her insides become her outsides on a city subway train, the Vatican sends over their head science honch, played by Gabe Byrne, to figure out a way to prove it isn't happening. Because, see, that's what the Church does. It's all about disproving miracles. Stupid Church.

So anyways, Father Byrne gets a haircut and talks to his target and figures she's full of it because only a believer would get the stigmata. Right? Well, okay then, so how do you explain the fact that plasma is flowing from her hands and feet, brainiac?

But wait! Peppermint Patty is now scrawling on walls in an ancient language! Smart Patty. Still stupid Church. Though this whole possession thing isn't doing much for her complexion. Or teeth, but then, little does.

Let's take a moment for us here and consider Patty Arquette's teeth. Personally, I like 'em. I can see why everyone involved in Hollywood has their original teeth kicked out and replaced by ceramic mirrorball strips, but Patty has decided against fixing hers, even though you have to figure her hubby (Nic Coppola.. I mean Cage) is good for the insurance on 'em. It's that overbite that proves beyond anything else that Patty Coppola-Cage-Arquette is not in this biz for the glory, she's in it for the love. If she wanted to be in blockbusters, she'd plump for the boobjob and get the extra teeth taken out while she was at it. But she doesn't. And this means when she signed on to Stigmata she wasn't thinking "oh, goody, I get to be Linda Blair!" (like anyone has ever muttered those words), she was thinking "cool script, this will give me the chance to show some stones on screen."

And that she does. Apart from a lame sexual attraction sideline (Contact proved that sexual attraction and priests are about as "hot" together as Chunky Monkey ice cream and Gatorade), Arquette throws herself about like an epileptic kid sitting too close to the TV during a Pokemon marathon. Byrne is present, but that's all that is required for the most part.

But the real star here is the director, Rupert Wainright. This cat is a music video veteran and he's all about impact. Though he takes things a little too far so far as smash cuts and fast editing montages (not to mention the Billy Corgan bass-happy soundtrack) he's at least tried to make this things a little different, even artistic. For a start, there's no colour in this film at all, barring that which Patty wears or oozes. This film is one step up from monotone but it's done in such a way that you only notice it when a burst of 'O negative' spurts from Arquette's arm.

Okay, so Stigmata wasn't what was advertised. Don't blame the filmmakers for that. Blame the marketers. And while you're at it, stand outside a Church, then point at it and laugh. While it was bitching out Kevin Smith and kicking him to death for daring to have a woman play God, Rupert Wainright was telling us that the Church is one big global conspiracy that does nothing for us more than keep us in the dark and tell us everything is going to be okay. And the Church didn't even notice. Can I get a witness?!

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originally posted: 12/20/99 00:29:22
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell the exorcist 4 the m tv crowd 1 stars
1/15/09 FrankNFurter Overly-bashed,surprisingly entertaining "Exorcist" rip-off that's a lot of fun! 3 stars
7/31/07 Indrid Cold Gabriel Byrne apparently has a corner on this market. Why wasn't he in The Da Vinci Code? 2 stars
6/06/07 David Pollastrini Saw it and have no memory of it so it must have sucked 2 stars
1/22/07 David A. About halfway thru, this horror tries to become inspirational. Weak ending. 3 stars
1/01/07 del Easily one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. 1 stars
6/05/06 chris I like this movie and I think it's great. 5 stars
3/31/06 Anthony Feor i got stigmata from watching this 1 stars
9/10/05 aiza awesome.... i like the story itself.. 5 stars
8/13/05 Lily So boring. Couldn't wait for it to end. 1 stars
8/12/05 ES catholic priest stumbles on a terrible plot that proves protestants were right, oh no! 3 stars
5/31/05 yosef ilove creative dildoes 5 stars
10/04/04 Bobble Very Entertaining, gory, and far-fetched. Why all the fuss ? 4 stars
8/04/04 Mia I loved the movie and I believe that it was one of the greatest movies yet to come. 5 stars
6/18/04 Alex Bound to hit a few nerves, expect NO unbiased opinions of this movie 5 stars
5/22/04 John caveat emptor 1 stars
5/07/04 Alex Fucked up movie. The guy who derectied it was a wannabe and a dam cunt. It was offensive. 1 stars
3/18/04 Trevor Definitely one of the better films in the 90's, I hope Wainright will direct again soon! 5 stars
1/05/04 cwlg420 It was fun, and it P/O the pope 5 stars
10/17/03 Summer Very well done. Beautiful. 4 stars
8/08/03 Brandy I enjoyed this movie. Obviously, those that did not, didn't get it. 5 stars
7/27/03 Monster W. Kung A ridiculous, inane and ignorant wanna-be scary, wanna-be 'message' movie. Pathetic. 1 stars
5/03/03 shaban very nice movie 2 stars
3/18/03 Mahdy Mazahary That Was Impressive 5 stars
9/27/02 Lee Wall Stigmata takes an old idea and makes it new...inspired and inspiring. 5 stars
7/12/02 KMG Less Catholic propaganda and more plot please! 3 stars
7/01/02 R.W. Welch Curious mix of conspiracy and mysticism; squirrelly but not badly done. 3 stars
2/20/02 Xaver Badly written story. Not much punch. 2 stars
1/17/02 Jockstud Exorcist + B Movie Script + Enigma = Stigmata 3 stars
1/16/02 David A. Starts out as horror and ends up being inspirational--go figure 4 stars
12/07/01 Dominik Duprelle a Dayglow, MTV, abominatrix. Balls. 1 stars
8/06/01 badfish Hello?Hollywood?We dont need any more blasphemic, unbelievable pieces of elephant feces. 1 stars
4/02/01 Joe Bova If you are aroused by lots and lots of candles and dripping water, then this is your porn. 2 stars
3/25/01 Monster W. Kung Not as idiotic as End Of Days, but rather superficial and crappy nevertheless. 2 stars
2/13/01 Jake Awful. Pathetic attempt at horror. 1 stars
2/09/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Doesn't "suspend" your disbelief...kinda ties a noose and slips it around your neck... 3 stars
11/26/00 The Bomb 69 pleasantly surprised, wasn't expecting much but the plot was strong 5 stars
10/29/00 Mitja Podgajski The greates "antichurch" movie... i love it! 5 stars
9/05/00 Terrie Smith Byrne makes the film better than it really is; major disappointment. 3 stars
5/21/00 mellemel Pretty crappy sums it up 2 stars
5/19/00 Queer with a Brain Excellent material, poorly executed. Agnes of God better deals w/similar subject. 3 stars
4/26/00 Austin Ritter This film was an awesome look into the foolishess of the modern chuch. It makes you think. 5 stars
4/07/00 SID Entertaining, but that's it. Awful MTV-editing, and soundtrack. 3 stars
3/15/00 Chrissy T Gabriel Byrne was the only thing in this keeping me from laughing my ass off. Amusing trash 4 stars
3/09/00 Mr. Kramitall coulda been a great X-Files episode 3 stars
3/06/00 Kyle Broflovski I'm a Jew, so I'm scared of the Catholic Church, anyway 4 stars
2/11/00 James Woodman Scary (but inconsistant) shit. 4 stars
2/06/00 Frank Curigliano Dull and derivative 3 stars
1/29/00 wild fun ride with catholic church as villans! 4 stars
1/26/00 Joel Harwood Freaky 5 stars
1/25/00 Italian Stallion. Great Directing...Patricia cant act for shit,ending sux..kepps u thinking though!! 4 stars
1/24/00 Phil Smith above average,value for cinema buck,quite enjoyable 4 stars
11/19/99 Corgan rules, this film doesn't. BEst part was Arquette in the hot green top in the opening 2 stars
11/15/99 Mark Damn, catholicism is creepy, I need a new religion 3 stars
10/15/99 Lame-Oh lame-ass schlock 2 stars
10/11/99 Ben Ryan Interesting, Binding, keeps u watching to see what the Catholics will screw up next! 4 stars
10/04/99 Holliwud I liked , I think it's worth a look 4 stars
9/29/99 Weezal316 Creepy. . .Disturbing. . .A Brillant Film 4 stars
9/26/99 Costars Redundant, hyperbolic, gross bullshit 2 stars
9/25/99 XenoWolf Alright that scene was pointless o look bloods pouring out of wrists again 2 stars
9/24/99 Tom Such a waste of time and money, should have been called Stink-mata 1 stars
9/23/99 Fork Different movie, cool concept, execution somewhat flagrant. 3 stars
9/20/99 Gunhed All style, no plot makes for one piss poor symbolic piece 'o' crap. Give me the Omen. 1 stars
9/20/99 Admiral Crunch Right on with the review, rocksolidace. Nutcase movie to be exact. 2 stars
9/16/99 ChicoWildcat Take everyone else's word and don't pay to see this train wreck. 2 stars
9/15/99 Dennis Forcier Rent 'Life of Brian' instead. 1 stars
9/14/99 Chukls When it comes to zany nutball comedy, you can't go wrong here! 1 stars
9/14/99 Elijah Stigmata = Menstruation. Nuff said. 2 stars
9/13/99 janet It made me think. Effects and soundtrack great. 4 stars
9/13/99 mason good story , rotten film 1 stars
9/13/99 Mr Showbiz An incomprehensible mess. 1 stars
9/12/99 Dr. Worm Convoluted & excruciatingly gory, alternately inducing boredom and hyperkinetic convulsions 1 stars
9/12/99 Obi Wan Something different...I was expecting too much after TBWP...but it was worth watching 4 stars
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  10-Sep-1999 (R)


  20-Jan-2000 (R)

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