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Jack Nicholson coasts his way through the picture as Edward Cole, a corporate hospital kingpin who thinks that the facilities under his care are coddling patients too much. Predictably, Cole winds up being a patient at one of his own hospitals, forced to experience the care that most of his patients get. He can be consoled by the fact that one of his flunkies (Sean Hayes) can still sneak into his room and give him perks.

His roommate is Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman), a walking CD-ROM of quiz show information who makes his living as a mechanic. Justin Zachman’s script fails to explain how Carter’s insurance enables him to afford the same treatment as Edward or how Carter manages to live in a home that most mechanics can’t afford. Perhaps Carter specializes in fixing Ferraris and Bentleys or successfully answered the question “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”.

Of course, the doctor (Rob Morrow) has informed them that both have inoperable cancer. We get to see both of them toss their cookies for a little bit and then shave their heads for treatment but other than that, the two are eager to experience the best of what life still has to offer.

They make a “bucket list” or jot down a number of activities they’d like to complete before they both kick the bucket. Most of these include visiting exotic sites or performing daredevil stunts.

Much of this is quite dull. Director Rob Reiner (who once made worthwhile films like “Misery” and “The Sure Thing”) handles this portion of the film in a remarkably pedestrian way. You can spot every shortcut he’s taken.

When the dying duo head out for an African safari, you get the sense that Nicholson and Freeman weren’t sent to the Serengeti to film the scene. The two are only seen in close-ups. It’s the same when they visit the pyramids and the Taj Mahal.

When Carter gazes out the window of Edward’s plane, Freeman’s face indicates a sense of wonder, but the matte shot looks rather flat and uninspiring. It would be nice if we could experience the marvels with the characters, but thanks to Reiner’s clumsy handling we can’t.

Not only does Reiner lack the technical chops to make this work, but he’s apparently forgotten how to use his actors to maximum effect. Whenever one of Zachman’s characters feels the need to blurt out an Oscar-bait soliloquy, Reiner’s camera reverently pans over to the actor to make sure we don’t miss a single syllable.

If the author of these quotes had been William Shakespeare or even David Mamet, this might have been appropriate. Instead, it seems to emphasize how vapid the material really is.

Actually, it’s pretty typical for Reiner’s more recent movies. When the successful screenwriting duo in “The Story of Us” had issues, they flew to Venice to drown their blues in the canals. If only the rest of us had the cash for that sort of solution. It’s hard to feel sorry for people who have these material advantages and still can’t get their acts together.

“The Bucket List” arrives on the screen when several more honest and entertaining films are already in theaters. “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” makes reading the subtitles worth it because director Juilan Schnabel and screenwriter Ronald Harwood actually have something valuable to say.

As for Freeman, his golden throated voiceover was better used in “The Shawshank Redemption,” “March of the Penguins” and “Million Dollar Baby.” Rent any of these and drop “The Bucket List” in your nearest recycling bin.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=16827&reviewer=382
originally posted: 12/26/07 04:57:36
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