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Overall Rating

Awesome: 7.84%
Worth A Look: 15.69%
Average: 5.88%
Pretty Bad41.18%
Total Crap: 29.41%

5 reviews, 21 user ratings

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Star Wars: The Clone Wars
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by Lybarger

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, ‘Star Wars’ movies were fun."
2 stars

I’d like to praise George Lucas for making movies that made me fall in love with cinema. If it weren’t for ‘Star Wars,’ I’d probably never have taken an interest in Ingmar Berman’s or Akira Kurosawa’s films (if you haven’t seen some, you should). Unfortunately, Lucas eagerly returns to the well long after the water has run out.

His last entry, “Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith,” managed to revive some of the thrills his more recent retellings of the saga had lost. After seeing “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” the latest uninspired entry from Lucas’ dream machine, it’s a shame he couldn’t have ended the tale while there was still some dignity left.

Instead of measuring the new computer-animated “Star Wars” entry against the live action movies that inspired it, I’ll compare it to the low-budget, 2D animated miniseries that preceded it on the Cartoon Network.

It falls short.

While “The Clone Wars” series had simple, Anime-inspired visuals, the stories moved briskly and actually developed the characters of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi in ways the live action films couldn’t. As a result, Anakin became a much more compelling protagonist because his heroism belied a tortured soul.

It also didn’t hurt that Lucas’ tin-eared dialogue was missing.

The new animated entries clearly have some more cash behind them, but there’s little sense of wonder to accompany the funding. The non-human characters are decently rendered.

R2D2, Jedi master Yoda (Tom Kane) and criminal Jabba the Hut (Kevin Michael Richardson) look the way fans remember them, but homo sapiens look like rubber mannequins. The men have beards that look like sheets of muslin. The peoples’ eyes are dull and inexpressive, as if they’ve been heavily sedated.

Because our story is focused primarily on two flesh-and-blood characters, Anakin (Matt Lanter) and Obi-Wan (James Arnold Taylor), the film becomes anchored around a duo of somnambulants.

While Lucas’ skills as a wordsmith aren’t on display (Anakin avoids using pickup lines like “I don’t like sand” around his beloved Padme), screenwriters Henry Gilroy, Steven Melching and Scott Murphy create a curiously dull adventure for the Jedi to face.

The Republic needs a trade route through the planet Tatooine, which Jabba runs. But the gangster’s son has been kidnapped by the Sith lord Count Dooku (Christopher Lee). Anakin and his new disciple Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein) attempt to rescue the green, slimy lad but find that Dooku has more than a ransom in mind.

Because neither the story nor the visuals are involving, viewers will be squirming and the film trudges to its uneventful conclusion. Considering how much more fun it was to watch the folks at “Robot Chicken” put their own spin on the Star Wars universe, it’s a shame that Lucas, who poked fun at himself in that series, didn’t hire them to make a new movie.

If Lucas and his cohorts can’t find new or entertaining areas to explore, they should take a break until suitable stories emerge comes. Churning out uninspired and uninspiring efforts like this one only cheapen the Star Wars legacy. It’s not like George Lucas needs any additional money.

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 08/18/08 13:38:45
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User Comments

4/16/13 George Lucas Folks, I apologize for making this movie. I know why it sucked: it needed more Jar Jar. 1 stars
2/12/10 Jim The most god-awful film I've ever seen. Thanks for killing Star Wars for us all Mr Lucas 1 stars
4/24/09 GordonD Awful. But the TV series is great! 2 stars
1/08/09 Shaun Wallner Fell asleep to this one. 2 stars
12/06/08 Jared Robb A movie for kids, not old fans. For entertainment value, its not bad. 3 stars
9/21/08 joe it was good, my kids loved it 5 stars
9/02/08 Joe Sampson More Lucascrap. 1 stars
8/30/08 Thomas It's the best movie I ever saw and I want to watch it again. 5 stars
8/29/08 Evie Aksucka was the most painful character ever 2 stars
8/28/08 Cathy our family liked it - we laughed a lot, kept our attention, but didn't like "Zero" 4 stars
8/27/08 j.c.s. it was good for a glorified pilot, but you cringe knowing how its allgoing to end 4 stars
8/26/08 Tom Brillient Film Why Did Noone Like It? 5 stars
8/25/08 mel blech 1 stars
8/25/08 zubidoo if you liked this movie you're a fucking retard 1 stars
8/21/08 Justin I'm a kid at heart. 5 stars
8/20/08 austin wertman holy crap 1 stars
8/18/08 George Barksdale Love the Star Wars Series, but this is not worth the time 1 stars
8/18/08 Bob made jar jar look like shakespeare 1 stars
8/17/08 D The plotline surrounding Jabba the Hutt's son was painful to watch, like the Muppet Babies. 3 stars
8/15/08 bruno priani it sucked big time it was depressing 1 stars
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  15-Aug-2008 (PG)
  DVD: 11-Nov-2008


  DVD: 11-Nov-2008

Directed by
  David Filoni

Written by
  Henry Gilroy


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