More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Advertisement

Overall Rating
3.08

Awesome: 17.65%
Worth A Look: 23.53%
Average: 20.26%
Pretty Bad26.14%
Total Crap: 12.42%

7 reviews, 111 user ratings


Latest Reviews

Extra Ordinary by Jay Seaver

Daniel Isn't Real by Jay Seaver

Midsommar by Rob Gonsalves

Blood on Her Name by Jay Seaver

Parasite (2019) by Peter Sobczynski

American Fighter by Jay Seaver

Moon in the Hidden Woods, The by Jay Seaver

Homewrecker (2019) by Jay Seaver

Gemini Man by Jay Seaver

Pain and Glory by Peter Sobczynski

subscribe to this feed


House on Haunted Hill (1999)
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by The King of the Bros

"Even Iron Maiden couldn't have saved this one."
1 stars

There's lots of things that would've made this movie better. The writing could've been a little bit more thought out. The direction could've used some direction. But I think the one thing that would've helped this movie the most is if there were no actors or cameras during the actual filming of this movie.

There are going to be Spoilers, so don't get pissed if I "ruin" the movie for you. Though there really is no way to ruin this movie. It does it all by itself.

The movie starts out strongly with a bunch of mental patients going....crazy. They kill lots of people and then some more people die. I was beginning to like this movie and hoped it would follow this storyline for the rest of the movie. But of course, it didn't.

Then Geoffrey Rush invites all these people for this birthday party thing, but the people that show up aren't the ones he invited. His wife Fammke Jenson (who plays the raddest bitch)didn't invite them either. So who did? Oooh, it was the house.

So basically the faceless nameless people show up because they were promised a million bucks to stay there (the one catch is that they have to survive the night). I'm not sure why, but for some reason I wanted some whip cream.

After that it pretty much sucks. Chris Kattan is the only person worth listening to. Some of his best lines, "We're gonna die!" and "Are you deaf, the house is gonna kill us!" were golden. He drinks a lot and actually has the right idea. Whenever somdbody goes down to the creepy basement they die. Go figure. If they just stayed up by the bar and drank all night and had a raging orgy they all would've lived. Everybody knows that.

I have to admit there was one thing that was scary in this movie.

Peter Gallagher's eyebrows.

I kept imagining that they were the evil and that they would simply grow off his face and attack the other people. Man, if only they would've made the eyebrows of Peter Gallagher the evil monster this would've been the greatest horror movie ever.

But of course that also didn't happen. What we're treated to instead is the most insulting, pathetic excuse for an evil spirit. It's this big black piece of shit that goes around saying shit like, "The Doctor is in!" What the fuck is that?! Man, I'd be so lucky for something like that to murder me! At least I'd go out laughing my ass off.

Anything would've been better. A bunch of pirates suddenly storming the house would've sufficed. Or what's wrong with Satan? Or robots? Or heshens? Or a Robot Heshen Satan? C'mon people this is basic stuff.

I suppose the only other scene that's worth a shit is the rollercoaster scene. It basically scares the people into thinking that the roller coaster is going to derail. Ha ha, serves those humans right.

I hated this movie because it tricked me. It was like this horrible, horrible blow job. It left me wanting more but at the same time, so disgusted I just wanted to run, far, far away.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1781&reviewer=176
originally posted: 11/09/99 18:29:11
[printer] printer-friendly format  
Horror Remakes: For more in the Horror Remakes series, click here.

User Comments

11/02/11 kenny chill out it's pretty fun 3 stars
1/25/10 Chad Dillon Cooper Bloated needless remake for teenieboppers. 1 stars
9/19/09 Pavel It's a great underrated horror movie! A lot better than the original. 5 stars
8/28/08 Shaun Wallner Great Horror film!! 5 stars
6/14/08 Karrie M scary and full of gore, it was alright, started out good anyways 3 stars
2/18/07 Nick Maday I don't remember much about this, but I do remember not liking it very much. 2 stars
1/27/07 action movie fan not scary, lame remake of lame film-don,t bother 2 stars
12/22/06 David Pollastrini not great, not terrible 3 stars
12/14/06 Browncoat What are you people, a bunch of fucking back-births?This movie sucks! 1 stars
10/28/06 matt a very underrated film, good imagery and scares throughout 4 stars
6/04/06 William Goss Surprisingly well-acted, creepily atmospheric, and just lots of fun. Somewhat underrated. 4 stars
5/26/06 Michele cool coaster at the beginning, nice to see james marsters 3 stars
1/03/06 cody a ok gory and spooky horror flick, ok actors , two problems were thin plot and silly scares 2 stars
11/07/05 Lauren A great, splashy, spooky, horror flick! A lot of fun. 5 stars
8/12/05 ES Way better than 'the Haunting', Rush is the man 4 stars
7/02/05 Indrid Cold Surprisingly nasty, semi-humorous tone makes it worth a look. Somewhat underrated. 3 stars
6/11/05 Anthony G Not bad, could of been better though 3 stars
5/10/05 Roger Roller coaster & Geoffrey Rush - both great. A fun movie. 4 stars
3/26/05 Denise loved the rollercoaster 4 stars
3/25/05 indrid cold Bad, but surprisingly over the top, which makes it watchable. 2 stars
3/17/05 Alice Colwell not bad 3 stars
3/13/05 Tamara Burks This movie is a blast and Geoffrey Rush does a great impression olf Vincent Price. 5 stars
3/04/05 Chris Stephens It was OK 3 stars
2/28/05 Diane Stedner Great. 5 stars
2/26/05 James Kiang Despite an over-the-top Rush, this was a pleasant surprise genre film. 3 stars
2/22/05 Debora Browning Thiis was a decent horror flick 4 stars
2/21/05 fiona it was well made, but...just a non event for me. I expected more. 2 stars
2/20/05 Carolyn Rathburn Gory, senseless violence, didn't care for it. 2 stars
2/19/05 Diane Stahlman DIFFERENT & INTERESTING AS FAR AS HORROR GOES. 4 stars
2/19/05 Denise good 4 stars
2/19/05 Brenda Riley Couldn't compare with the original! 3 stars
10/16/04 Don Eckert The 14% that thought this was Awesome must be a kindergarten class. 1 stars
8/20/04 justin i liked it it was awsome i wana no what that song at the end was bye 5 stars
4/24/04 star seen it 5 times, the spinning room is a trip, blood fun, all else sucks 3 stars
2/14/04 Naturezrevenge Abysmal reviews, jacob's ladder meets hellraiser imagery,not as abysmal as one would think. 4 stars
2/08/04 john bale Rush is not Vincent Price and this remake is no better than the first 3 stars
1/05/04 Janey Let down by a bad ending - should have kept plot more realistic. 3 stars
11/02/03 American Slasher Goddess Rush and Janssen turn in good hammy perfomances, but otherwise it's pretty unspectacular. 2 stars
10/02/03 Mopsa I admit it: I loved this movie! Scary and funny and misunderstood 5 stars
9/06/03 Andrew This is actually a rather good film. The soundtrack is great! 4 stars
7/14/03 Samuel Justus Most likely one of the best ever! 13 ghosts and Ghost Ship were good but this was better! 5 stars
6/20/03 Mystique revolting, cool, frightening and RUSH ROCKS ! 3 stars
11/24/02 Charles Tatum Lousy ending, but scary all the way through 4 stars
10/03/02 snowconehead Chris Kattan gets killed, which justifies the rating 4 stars
2/01/02 Ashley Corpening look up WASTED in dictionary -oughta find casting of Bridgette Wilson & Ali Larter in this! 2 stars
1/12/02 Audra I loved the movie. Not really scary. Only Famke and Chris were good in the movie. 5 stars
1/04/02 Andrew Carden Good Premise To The Original, but Very Weak and Not Scary At All. 2 stars
12/04/01 auroradae the best horror movie i have seen, and i've seen many, i was actually scared once 5 stars
12/01/01 Joe The begining is awesome.. the middle part is all right.. then the last bites ass 3 stars
10/20/01 Tam TOTAL BOLLOCKS! Boring, tedious, over-acted! BIGGEST STINKER IN HISTORY! 1 stars
10/17/01 Hum some good ideas but this film is sooooo dumb! 2 stars
10/04/01 mark conway this movie was no more than average, with little thrills or scares. 3 stars
8/29/01 Sarah I wasn't scared at ALL!It was suppose to be a horror movie at what moment? 1 stars
8/10/01 Audra I couldn't finish the movie; it was way too gory. But there were scary scenes. 2 stars
8/09/01 E-Funk Some genuinely creepy moments, but the end is worse than blue balls. 4 stars
7/21/01 Robert closest to a scary movie i have seen in a long time 5 stars
7/11/01 ALEXIS Hey I thought it was pretty scary, but the ending was kinda crappy 4 stars
6/19/01 King Jackass Your crazy... this is an awesome movie! 5 stars
6/18/01 Monster W. Kung Could've been decent if they kept ripping off Tool videos, but as it was it sucked, badly. 1 stars
5/14/01 Amorill Great horror movie. Although I must admit that the ending was way too nice and predictabl. 5 stars
4/19/01 Tam Tedious crap, with plenty of gore but no scares. Wooden acting & a bad script didnt help. 1 stars
3/23/01 Terrie Smith Not much with this one; Geoffrey Rush receiving a easy pay cheque for doing nothing. 2 stars
3/11/01 Yamara Better than X-Files At Sea. No, wait, *I* made that movie. No, it sucks. Chris Kattan rocks 3 stars
3/04/01 ThunderCloud Matrix I loved the movie mostly because of the orginal wicked-asylum plot, but the acting sucked. 4 stars
3/01/01 John Trent Yeah,one of the best horror films ever!Loved the ending,buy the dvd and see the alt ending! 5 stars
2/17/01 Steven Armet I still can't sleep at night almost as scarry as deliverance 5 stars
2/11/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi I was too busy committing suicide to finish watching it... 2 stars
2/01/01 Vivien Leung i just wanna know how they could get down at last? ( bloody but not scary) urghhhh!!! 1 stars
1/16/01 Aurora This was the fisrt horror movie to actually scare me for almost a decade! It was horrific! 5 stars
11/05/00 Boy In The Designer Bubble A bad movie made worse by bad writing. 1 stars
10/29/00 Timothy L. Herzog Lame... 2 stars
10/23/00 John medium scares, good plot, really bad ending 3 stars
7/23/00 Woerkilt Better than most "Hollow"wood feces-on-film. Blood, severed heads and acid-trip ghoulies. 4 stars
6/08/00 Lizzard Queen The movie started out great and had some great visuals, but the ending was a disappointment 4 stars
6/06/00 Bender The first 20 minutes are good, but the movie becomes less and less interesting 3 stars
5/13/00 melissa honke is the house true as in is it R 4 stars
4/18/00 Ken Krysa I liked it better than The Haunting. Creepy and great visuals. 5 stars
4/09/00 EMagGaRony nothing special, , what's with "scary" movies that don't even scare you?? 3 stars
3/19/00 Joel Harwood . 4 stars
3/03/00 Matthew Bartley A lot better than I thought it would be, Dodgy ending though 4 stars
3/03/00 Patrick Annis-Brown Very creepy, but a sucky ending 4 stars
2/21/00 jj it is cool 4 stars
2/16/00 Add Started interesting then the budget took over, damn it, this really sucked!! 1 stars
2/12/00 arnold blew haunting away,kattan is great,ending sucked,and there was some pretty cool horror bits 4 stars
11/22/99 Phreezer Good (Stay for til' the very end of the credits or miss out on some creepy shit) 4 stars
11/20/99 Amy Spencer awesome! 5 stars
11/13/99 merrip absolutely beautiful set design and awesome visual/audio stuff. ending sucks all ass. 3 stars
11/11/99 Buttman suck-tastic 2 stars
11/11/99 Queen of the Amazon Vamps I want to hop on Famke Janssen twice! 1 stars
11/10/99 Ryan Philippe gets hit by a car and it rules I hate you Kenny 5 stars
11/08/99 focus not as bad as The Haunting, but still a craptacular movie 2 stars
11/08/99 Ben Ryan Is it possible for a movie to ever live up to the previews? no! 2 stars
11/07/99 JonnyAngel I was gonna write a review, but Hawk did it for me 3 stars
11/07/99 goryturd@hotmail.com great....exept for the end... 4 stars
11/07/99 Obi Wan Was pretty good up until about 25mins to go, felt like movie was rushed to ending!! ROBBED! 2 stars
11/05/99 "bob" i saw this movie while i was high,it scared THE SHIT out of me! 5 stars
11/05/99 Jonathan Pinkerton Somewhat scary must mostly a gorefest 3 stars
11/03/99 Delta Yankee I liked the original a hell of a lot better. 2 stars
11/02/99 PhilmPhreak Well, it was better than The Hauntimg. 3 stars
11/02/99 Mac The chick should have killed Taye, pulled the checks from her blouse, house then kills her 2 stars
11/02/99 Stephanie The ending sucked! What a letdown! 1 stars
11/01/99 Arshad Nice sets, effects, TERRIBLE dialog, plot 3 stars
11/01/99 Phil. God damnit, the ending sucked. God damnit! It was probably rushed for halloween. Or not? 1 stars
11/01/99 Lucas Coffey It should've cut everyone up and went with the after credit ending. 4 stars
11/01/99 Vampyre9mm Good gore, but that's about it. Stupid plot, bad characters, TERRIBLE ending. 2 stars
11/01/99 mason the original is one of my favorites and this is suprisingly bad-ass , except for the ending 5 stars
10/31/99 pixie one of the scariest movie's i have seen... UNTIL the end. inconsistent ,& suck dead ass. 4 stars
10/31/99 Dylan Great movie but worst ending ever. Seems like it was thrown together at last minute 4 stars
10/31/99 Lame-Oh Not as good as The Haunting, but still a sorry-ass movie 2 stars
10/30/99 Odd Pieman 80% of this movie is scarey as sweet jesus but becomes a horrible piece of crap at the end. 4 stars
10/30/99 Steve Price Inconsistent with horrible dialogue, but some creepy moments & a cool Chris Kattan 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:


Discuss this movie in our forum

USA
  29-Oct-1999 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  10-Feb-2000




Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
eFilmCritic.com: Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast