Overall Rating
  Awesome: 20.42%
Worth A Look: 33.1%
Average: 18.31%
Pretty Bad: 14.08%
Total Crap: 14.08%
8 reviews, 94 user ratings
|
|
Prince of Egypt, The |
by PyThomas
"Thou shalt see it if thou wantst to."

|
The book of PyThomas, forty-first chapter:Now in the days of President Clinton's reign, in the twelfth month of the year nineteen hundred and ninety-eight, there appeared in an abundance of movie theaters an animated feature film called The Prince Of Egypt. It was a film of great interest, as it came from a source other than the estate of Walt Disney, and it retold the story found in Scripture of the prophet Moses and his struggle to free the Israelites from enslavement to the Egyptians.
Meanwhile, a servant of the Lord, Thomas son of Louis, toiled away at his jobs in the city of Dallas in the land of Texas. He had anticipated the coming of this film with great interest, yet could not gain a chance to see it, due to his work schedule, and the desire to watch the film with his wife, Marti, who had just as great a workload as he. Alas, their schedules could not negotiate a time for them to see the film together, and the film passed from the theaters soon thereafter.
Five months hath passed, and Thomas, having separated from his wife in a bitter dispute, came to settle in the city of Austin in the land of Texas. Now there had just come to pass the construction of a movie theater in the marketplace of Barton Creek Square. The theater offered a sneak preview before their grand opening celebration, where they showed films that have long since ended their box office run, at no cost to the masses. Among those films was The Prince of Egypt. The Lord said unto Thomas, "Now is thy chance to see the film, and for free to boot." And so Thomas journeyed to the Barton Creek marketplace to see the movie, and he saw that it was good.
Thomas was amazed at the visual feast that the movie presented to its audience. What most stuck out in visual effects were the scenes where the Lord spoke to Moses through the burning bush, and the parting of the Red Sea. The voice talents that the stars hath lent to their characters were authentically done. Val Kilmer spoke as Moses with a youthful exuberance that would give way to mature authority, something Patrick Stewart totally embodied as the voice of the elder Pharaoh. Thomas also thought it quite fitting that Steve Martin would have a role in this movie (as one of Pharaoh's magician-priests), given that he fashioned a song called "King Tut" that was quite popular two decades past.
After the show was over, Thomas said to the Lord, "The scribes hath taken many liberties with the story. I can understand, since Scripture told of Moses' tale quite vividly and violently, that those who watched over the making of this film wished to tone down the violence and make it more watchable for the little children. Yet I have also noticed that the scribes changed some of the plot points considerably. Whereas Scripture said the Egyptians banished Moses after killing a slavemaster, in the film Moses banished himself because of the guilt he felt. Scripture also had one Pharaoh throughout the story, not an elder Pharaoh in part one and his son of roughly Moses' age in part two. I only pray that this film does not draw the ire of those who serve you most fervently. The fundamentalists hath already given me a headache."
And the Lord said unto Thomas, "Do not worry. I made sure that Steven put a disclaimer at the beginning to let the masses know that this was indeed one interpretation of Scripture. If some get offended at this version, that be their problem. While I wish it hath made more money, I am quite pleased at how this film turned out."
And Thomas said, "Well, that's good to know. So, anyway... Is Marilyn Manson really the Antichrist?"
And the Lord said, "Nope. Not even close. In fact, I find him quite amusing."Amen.
link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=186&reviewer=9 originally posted: 05/29/99 08:14:12
printer-friendly format
|
 |
USA 18-Dec-1998 (PG) DVD: 14-Sep-1999
UK N/A
Australia 26-Dec-1998 (PG)
|
|