Battlefield Earth

Reviewed By Brian McKay
Posted 07/09/01 10:50:36

"Every bit the botched abortion that you heard about"
1 stars (Total Crap)

Why oh why does Travolta have to be a Scientologist? Why couldn't he have joined that Nike-wearing comet death cult? At least he'd be dead now with the rest of them and we wouldn't have to be subjected to any more of his shit

First of all, I got news for all you L. Ron Hubbard fans. The book "Battlefield Earth" sucked a big ol' donkey cock too, so don't give me any of this "Oh, the movie was horrible, but the book was great" bullshit. I read that longwinded piece of trash back in the day. It sucked then, it sucks now.

How many millions of dollars did they spend on this fucking movie, only to have it come off looking like a really cheap Sci-Fi channel "original" (read: suckass) movie? The sets are laughaubly cheap, and the aliens look like geeks from a fucking star trek convention who couldn't afford to buy the "good" Klingon costumes (or get their mommies to sew one up for them). Everything about this film reeks incomprehensible badness. Forest Whitaker should be flogged for stooping to this trash, although it's about what I expect from Travolta these days. The rest of the cast is pretty much unknowns (what a big surprise there), and after this, they are going to stay that way.

You know that scene in "Pulp Fiction" where John Travolta's character gets shot? Well, they should have put real bullets in the machine gun, because he hasn't done a goddamn worthwhile thing since then. "Battlefield Earth" is his darkest hour, and considering his track record lateley, it's about as dark as a fuckin' coal mine.

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