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Overall Rating
3.22

Awesome: 10.07%
Worth A Look: 28.78%
Average41.01%
Pretty Bad: 13.67%
Total Crap: 6.47%

13 reviews, 61 user ratings


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Whole Nine Yards, The
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by Chris Parry

"The best Matthew Perry film yet. Not saying much, but hey..."
2 stars

I guarantee no human being has ever, in the history of history, uttered the words "Matthew Perry" and "Oscar" in the same sentence. Unless the words "is never going to win a" were in between them. If you looked at the line-up for The Whole Nine Yards (Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Natasha Henstridge) and figured it was anything more than utter fluff, we need to step outside and undergo some serious "attitude readjustment" with you. Seriously, this was always going to be one step above TV movie and the best that could have been hoped for was that it didn't stink too much. Well, surprise, surprise... it didn't. Not much, anyway.

Yes, you heard. It didn't fully suck. Of course, that ain't saying a whole lot. Compare this twaddle to American Beauty or Fight Club and it's almost shameful that they share the same screens. But if a guy like me is to not become a bow-tie wearing cinema snob, one has to sometimes look at the low-aiming 'zany' comedy and say "well, it was kinda funny in parts" and just let the damn thing off the hook. It's a little fish. Undersized and ready to throw back. Of no consequence.

But kinda funny in parts.

So Matthew Perry is a dentist married to a Quebecois (excuse the phrase, but it's apt) bitch. Bruce Willis is a hiding-out Chicago hitman who moves in next door. Cue a twisty and often confusing sequence of events that have Perry falling for Willis' wife (Natasha Henstridge), Willis falling for Perry's dental assistant, and a mob boss who can't pronounce words with the letter V in them. Yeah. Shakespeare, eh?

But there are some positives. Firstly, if you're going to write a character that you want people to hate, making that character French is a great way to do it. Rosanna Arquette's portrayal of the dentist's wife is decidedly French and decidedly ick. Meanwhile Perry, who is one step up from Carrot Top in terms of cinematic success, seems to actually have a talent for slapstick comedy. Which is good, because he'll starve as a romantic lead. And is that the much despised Bruce Willis, action star we're watching, or is that the much loved Bruce Willis, comedic genius that we haven't seen since the days of Moonlighting? Hark! It's the Moonlighting Bruce! Rounding out the positives... there's gratuitous nudity. Bonus star for that.

So with all those positives, is this movie a must-see? Noooo. See, these aren't positives per se, they're cases of not being near as negative as you'd think.

Ultimately The Whole Nine Yards is shite. But you expect it to be utter shite.

No awards, no applause, but the vomit bags are empty. And when Matthew Perry is involved, that's a win.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2013&reviewer=1
originally posted: 03/28/00 00:31:25
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User Comments

9/22/17 morris campbell fun if slight 3 stars
12/29/09 Dane Youssef A fun lightweight dark comedy from John Lynn. The cast deserves a whole Oscar. 4 stars
12/19/09 Jeff Wilder Lightweight yet fun. 3 stars
7/29/09 the dork knight It doesn't get funnier if Chandler slams into walls 500 times. I liked Arquette and Peet. 2 stars
12/15/07 Pamela White Bruce makes a better hitman than comedian but Perry keeps the laughs coming 4 stars
10/16/06 Charles Tatum Perry tries, some laughs and Peet's boobs save it 3 stars
8/25/05 ES I occassionally like mayo on my burger and fries 2 stars
6/05/05 Ubu the Ripper OK if you have nothing else to do and no one to do it with. 3 stars
4/24/05 DM Enjoyable, well-acted, goofy fluff 4 stars
3/11/05 Jeff Anderson Pretty funny & Peet is a STANDOUT! David Franco's ugly lensing of Montreal is poor, though! 3 stars
3/10/05 Fake Name Here Funny fluff, Arquette weirdly hysterical 4 stars
8/12/04 DJ ROXORZ JOO 5 stars
7/11/04 gag started off well....then turned down right ludicrous. fuck the dick head director 1 stars
4/24/04 J An entertaining movie! *** 4 stars
4/12/04 R.W. Welch Mildly amusing mob comedy, good turn by Willis. 3 stars
10/19/03 Curious George very good 5 stars
10/17/03 Josh Standlee Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry are a perfect combination! It's one hell of a funny movie! 5 stars
10/09/03 Tomo very good movie 5 stars
8/06/03 Kamie Hey i liked it, im lookin forward to the second one 4 stars
5/27/03 JoeSco Better than a Perry film should be and Natasha and Amanda are hot 4 stars
4/17/03 Andrew Carden Henstridge and Peet Provide Sex Appeal...but The Film Is Rarely Funny and Overlong. 2 stars
10/20/02 Paul Amanda Peet holding a gun, naked, is definately worth a look 4 stars
5/18/02 Dark Barøn Perry, drop the Chandler jokes already. Everything else was fine. 4 stars
4/01/02 Jim Chandler Bing meets the Sopranos; dumb cops steal the movie at the end 4 stars
2/20/02 Xaver The plot is quite clever. Loved the comedy. 4 stars
12/29/01 Doug Very funny. 5 stars
10/31/01 Casey GREAT MOVIE, i think i saw it about 20 times, Matthew Perry is the hottest man alive! 5 stars
10/30/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) Bruce Willis is pretty cool, Matthew Perry's funny, and Amanda Peet's hot. 3 stars
10/06/01 The $1.98 Pyramid Good. 3 stars
8/06/01 badfish Gotta love Brucie Baby! 5 stars
7/06/01 Roy Smith Mathew Perry is useless but Willis is a pro. 4 stars
5/05/01 The Chosen One Perry's a fuck up, but Peet makes it worth it 4 stars
2/19/01 Katie Excellent 5 stars
2/19/01 Phil M. Afficianado TheAngryJew's review is right on. It brightened a night on the road in a cheap motel room. 4 stars
2/19/01 Nic Saw it once - Would almost for sure never see it again. 3 stars
2/19/01 nicky the whole nine yards is awesome and matthew perry is so sexy 5 stars
1/10/01 Redbird The presence of Rosanna Arquette and Amanda Peete are enough to make this movie watchable 4 stars
10/22/00 Gremlin Well, I thought it was funny. 5 stars
10/02/00 Trina I like anything with WIllis in it 4 stars
9/06/00 Melis disappointing 3 stars
8/08/00 scott It was a real turd....but the tits were nice. 2 stars
7/25/00 Monday Morning There are more laughs in any average TV sitcom. Very disappointing. 2 stars
7/24/00 The Bomb 69 few laughs, a VERY average movie 3 stars
4/11/00 Ernie Levesque Leave your morals behind and sit back and enjoy! 4 stars
4/04/00 Belinda A video job if that! 2 stars
4/02/00 LucyB Fun Movie. Some Hillarious scenes.Credit goes to Mathew for all the best parts. 4 stars
3/31/00 Bruce A comedy right? So where are the laughs? 2 stars
3/16/00 Debra Worst movie I've seen in years. Dull, dull, dull !!!! 1 stars
3/14/00 Efman Fluffy first date flick... whats with the graphic killings?? 4 stars
3/08/00 Tom Burg the only reason you would think it's funny is because the ads told you it was 1 stars
3/03/00 Jackie Hilarious!!! Bruce & Matthew are brilliant! 5 stars
3/02/00 Sherry It was hilarious! 5 stars
2/29/00 Rachem A renter if I ever saw one. 3 stars
2/29/00 Zaw Oo Good ending. 5 stars
2/27/00 Jason Kallelis Great movie! Go see it. 4 stars
2/26/00 Poetcdh Funny film 4 stars
2/25/00 Allan Highly entertaining. Loved hating Rosana Arquette. 5 stars
2/21/00 Lindsay Alright. 3 stars
2/21/00 voyant bruce willis should play hitmen more often 4 stars
2/16/00 Andi very funny...not disappointing 3 stars
2/16/00 Amy wait for the video 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  18-Feb-2000

UK
  N/A

Australia
  30-Mar-2000




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