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Overall Rating
1.82

Awesome: 4.63%
Worth A Look: 5.56%
Average: 12.96%
Pretty Bad: 21.3%
Total Crap55.56%

10 reviews, 48 user ratings


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Urban Legends: The Final Cut
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Brian McKay

"The embodiment of all that is wrong with the horror genre today"
1 stars

First, let it be known for the record that the only reason I saw either of these piece of shit "Urban Legend" films is because I've always been somewhat of a scholar of urban legends and folklore and once had an idea for a novel about a killer patterning his murders after them. I gave up on the idea because it seemed hackneyed and cliched. Too bad the makers of these films didn't realize the same thing.

At least the first film, while as bad as any other lame horror/slasher movie, made an attempt to actually base the killings on urban legends and pull them off in a semi-creative way. This movie pretty much abandons even that premise, as some dude in a fencing mask (fencing mask? That's supposed to be scary?) goes around killing people with completely random methodology. The only relation to urband legends is that it happens while some film students make a movie about urban legend killings. A lame movie within a lame movie, how clever. The most insulting thing about it is that this film keeps making references to Hitchcock, as if this piece of shit is anywhere near the league of a Hitchcock film. The poor fat bastard is probably rolling around in his sizeable grave.

Pedantic, boring, not even remotely scary, or even startling, or funny on the rare occasion that it tries to be. It's a plodding mess. Hell, it's still playing, and I'm already writing this review and ignoring it. The first film was watchable once. This one is unendurable. The acting is dismal. The characters, consequently, are about as bland and one-dimensional as you would expect. Normally when I review a film, I like to point out the best performances. For a film like this, I feel compelled to point out the worst of the bunch as a public service. First there's Jessica Cauffiel, a horrible actress playing a horrible actress (what a stretch. Almost as difficult as Mariah Carey's role in the upcoming "Glitter," where she plays a pop singer. Fuck, girl, way to stretch those thespian muscles!) The second is Loretta Devine as the campus security guard, the only returning character from the last film. She is what passes as the "comic relief", and provides neither. Do yourself a favor, if you ever see either of these annoying twats in the credits of any film, avoid it like raw plutonium.

It's films like this that make one grateful for movies like "The Others," and Lord, please let "Session 9" come to my town soon. I need any halfway-innovative horror film right about now to get the taste of shit like "Urban Legends: Final Cut" out of my mouth.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2143&reviewer=258
originally posted: 08/16/01 17:43:17
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User Comments

11/25/13 Jan Marie It just doesn’t get any better than seeing the gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” over at her and 5 stars
4/18/12 ROSCOE PRETTY BAD BUT WATCHABLE 2 stars
4/04/09 Dane Youssef Actually... kind of fun for a sequel to a movie that was a rip-off in the first place. 4 stars
1/12/06 Darren O lacks the novelty of the original, and doesn't live up to the title 2 stars
1/02/06 Wiseman hahahaah oh my god, the first one was ok, but this one is a HORRIFIC PEICE OF Shiat 1 stars
10/24/05 tony poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 1 stars
8/04/05 ^podo boring and stupid... 2 stars
5/24/05 E-FUNK Holy shit! This movie is so bad it warrants executions for everyone involved. 1 stars
2/02/04 Rocko *cough* horse shit *cough* 1 stars
11/25/03 Thiago Pretty original way to continue the series. I really enjoyed UL2. 4 stars
11/09/03 Samuel Didn't even compare to the origional...which also sucked!! 3 stars
11/04/03 American Slasher Goddess Not bad, but weaker then the first one. 3 stars
7/25/03 Double G Why did they make a sequel, if they 1st one was so bad. This is torture, don't watch it!!!! 1 stars
7/07/03 Jack Sommersby Arid and just plain boring sequel to the passable original. Good cinematography, though. 1 stars
7/03/03 Gray had some good scenes wasn't helped by racist hummer 2 stars
6/23/03 Hottie I didn't think it was that bad! I thought it was good! 4 stars
4/01/03 y2mckay God how I hated this piece fo shit. Die, Loretta Devine. DIE YOU FAT BITCH! 1 stars
3/02/03 ME A GREAT FILM 5 stars
1/02/03 Chowie WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT! 1 stars
6/02/02 I'm in (L) with a Jedi this was fucking torture 1 stars
4/26/02 Charles Tatum Terrible sequel to a terrible film 1 stars
3/15/02 Christian Oh dear. What happened?The first one was so entertaining 1 stars
11/30/01 Rutt13 one of my beer farts could make a better film, even the girls are ugly. 1 stars
11/17/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is better than the first one & really haves it clever parts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
7/02/01 Jennifer Doran i like chicks 4 stars
4/16/01 LiL Wow, what a piece of shit 1 stars
3/28/01 Rampage Crappy shows like The X-Files are even freakier that any stupid teen horror flick. 1 stars
2/22/01 Jenna Eva Mendes is HOT 4 stars
2/11/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Doesn't even qualify as hackwork. Shit trying to pass itself off as potpourri. 1 stars
1/14/01 movie chick Don't waste your time on this crappy sequel. 1 stars
12/19/00 Thrillhouse Like JustinR review says, "Who comes up with this shit?" 1 stars
12/06/00 Cristopher Revilla what's with hollywood? they're just releasing shitty sequels from even shittier flicks!!! 1 stars
12/03/00 Stuntman laughably stupid, makes Malcolm in the Middle look like Eerie Indiana 1 stars
12/03/00 Dee Ingold I think it was an awesome movie i want to see it again. 5 stars
11/13/00 Evelyn Four words...MATTHEW DAVIS IS SEXY!!p.s. I liked this movie a lot better than the first one 5 stars
10/09/00 Ground Zero worse than the first 1 stars
10/06/00 CHRIS MADE ME WANT TO DEFICATE! 1 stars
10/05/00 Jacques Strap it's like watchingX-Files, but w/o Fox Mulder and Scully. Godawful. 1 stars
10/04/00 JJ It was fun 4 stars
10/04/00 Boy In The Designer Bubble Suckers! You've wasted your lives and money on a piece of dreck. Satan Rules Hollywood!!! 1 stars
10/02/00 PJ Got 6 words for this crap-- This Movie Sucked Ass Shit Stains. By the way Jacinda gets it! 1 stars
10/02/00 KAM Bad, very, very, bad 2 stars
9/30/00 Stuntman GO SEE SCARY MOViE 1 stars
9/26/00 tuna could this movie suck any more? 1 stars
9/25/00 siro why oh why did i waste 8bucks on this, when i could've been at home, masterbating?!? 1 stars
9/25/00 Jason O should've gone to the symphony... 1 stars
9/24/00 Ground Zero whoever came up with that armpit should be dragged out in the street and shot. Awful. 1 stars
9/23/00 Boy In The Designer Bubble If you want a good scare. Buy the Harry Potter books. Hollywood has lost all hope. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  22-Sep-2000 (R)
  DVD: 19-Jul-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  28-Sep-2000 (MA)




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