FIRST KNIGHT tries really, really hard. I mean it. I'll give them credit for that much. Unfortunately it managed to suck more than almost any film I've watched this year....Oh, my GOD, what a foul piece of work.
"I wish I had just re-rented EXCALIBUR...."
Step 1: fire the entire costuming department.
Step 2: get rid of the properties department.
Step 3: go hire the guys who did MERLIN, since that's obviously the kind of epic you were aiming for, but you missed, oh, GOD, how you missed....
The costumes look like reject ideas from the set of STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION's first season. The armor is made of tinfoil, as evidenced by a scene in which Lancelot drops his, and it crumples when it hits the ground. The props are from a wide range of time periods, definitely hammering home the idea that this movie is pure fantasy, and means to have no historical basis whatsoever, even though it uses real places like England as a setting.
Scripting was almost as bad. Let's take, oh, say, half the Arthur story, and toss the rest out. Do we want a Mordred? Nah, too complicated for today's audiences, let's come up with a new bad guy....let's call him, oh, I dunno, how about Malagant? Do you think that's too obvious? And let's make it clear just HOW bad the bad guys are, by having them fight with crossbows. Yeah, small, hand-held crossbows that fire solid-steel armor-piercing bolts and are accurate out to four hundred yards or so. Maybe we can get the props guys from YOR: HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE to put them together for us.
Bonuses: Sean Connery as King Arthur. Boy, I'd have paid good money to see a good Arthur movie made, with Sean Connery as the Once as Future King. As it was, I heckled my way through this one (something I NEVER do, but by GOD, I couldn't help myself). Richard Gere was even relatively believable as Lancelot, and Julia Ormond was excellent as Guinevere, but this movie lacked a few things, like style, substance, and direction.Drag the director, the producers, the screewriters, and the entire costume and props departments out and shoot them. Maybe you could use one of those awful prop crossbows....
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originally posted: 11/09/99 08:05:51