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After three years together, Tommy (Paul Schneider) and Audrey (Olivia Munn) are struggling to conceive a child, and after a doctor’s visit, it’s determined that Tommy’s sperm just aren’t as strong as they used to be. However, as something of a frequent sperm donor back when he was desperate to afford Audrey’s wedding ring, Tommy’s determined to reclaim that which was once his for the sake of his marriage.

Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar (Super Troopers, Beerfest) and populated by roughly half of his Broken Lizard brethren without being an officially sanctioned BL effort, this vulgar lark sees the crew trading in knowing genre riffs for juvenile masturbation gags and post-Apatow schmaltz. The biggest hurdle facing The Babymakers are its writers, Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow (Say It Isn’t So, Strange Wilderness), and their insistence on taking their sweet time getting around to their one idea -- a sperm bank robbery and the inherent hilarity of stooges stealing spooge.

In the meantime, we’re treated to spastic ticking-clock scenarios, a montage of crotch shots, a dose of gay panic, tepid banter between her friends and his, contrived break-up fodder involving naked pictures of ex-girlfriends, and other half-baked hijinks. Perhaps a BL-sanctioned take on the material might have spared us that well-worn bit in which someone eager to turn off porn accidentally turns up the volume instead, LOL! As it stands now, the film’s funniest moments involve the use of suitable lunchtime props when planning a heist and a fleeting debate over the proper grammatical usage of “who/whom.”

Madcap antics do not suit the reliably laconic Schneider well, while Munn is often given to pouting at her hubby. Chandrasekhar denounces Indian stereotypes while playing an Indian caricature himself, Nat Faxon gets to be stoned and spacey, Kevin Heffernan is subjected to fat jokes, and Wood Harris shows up to be the token black friend. (Aisha Tyler finds herself similarly enlisted, and equally wasted, on the Munn side of things.)

This could have been its own perfectly cheap-looking project primed for eventual Comedy Central block-filling, but given the proven talents of all involved, it’s hard to see it as anything other than a disappointment. To say that 'The Babymakers' is 'Not Quite Knocked Up' would be an understatement; by the end of this, you won’t want these idiots to reproduce.

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originally posted: 09/17/12 09:28:35
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