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Total Crap100%

1 review, 3 user ratings

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Hidden 2, The
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by Brian McKay

"This time, THE HIDDEN should have stayed hidden"
1 stars

The only thing that can tarnish a great movie more than a lame sequel is a lame direct-to-video sequel. Think about it. Have you ever seen a DTV sequel that was even close to the quality of the original? Me neither, and this is no exception.

This dismal exploitation picks up several years after the original story. None of the original cast is involved, much to their credit. The only surviving character is the daughter of Tom Beck, the LAPD cop from the first movie. She's grown up now, after witnessing her father transform into some kind of walking corpse-like thing because he couldn't adjust to living in a human body for so long (the only semi-interesting idea in the whole goddamn movie, and it is quickly abandoned).

Now another rabid parasite is on earth taking over people and going on crime sprees. Only this movie has the budget of a film school project, so there ain't much room for things like car chases and big shootouts. If the film doesn't sound bad enough already, then the addition of Raphael Sbarge as the new interstellar cop in search of The Hidden drags this debacle right into the mud. This guy is the worst fucking actor ever. He's ever worse than Ben Affleck (and that's pretty bad). I've seen performances with more range from Jason Mewes, and less wooden from Steven Segal. And what the fuck kind of name is "Sbarge"? Wasn't that some shitty pop band in the 80's? Didn't they do that "Ryhthm of the Night" song? Oh wait, that was "DeBarge". My bad.

Not only does Sbarge suck, but he looks like a fucking dork. He looks like John McEnroe's inbred Ozarks cousin, "Cooter". The one who stays up in the shed and out of the public eye because he's paid off in anti-embarrasment money from Tennis and Heineken endorsements. Jesus, this guy sucks. This is who you replaced Kyle MacLachlan with? Sheesh!

Anyway, it blows. Hardly any action, sucky acting, lame creature effects. The only reason it doesn't completely suck is because the first several minutes are scenes from the first Hidden.

Drive-In Triple Feature Sequel Suckfest Picks for The Hidden 2:

Trancers 2: Just plain crappy sequel to a so-crappy-it's-decent film. It should have been the "Deth" of this franchise.

Children of the Corn ?: They all suck donkey dick after the first. Just pick one, and enjoy!

I want you to do me a favor if you see THE HIDDEN 2 on the shelf at your local video store. When nobody's looking, take it and drop it into that little crack between the shelf and the wall, where it will rest tucked away from view. That is the only way it can possibly live up to its name.

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originally posted: 10/09/02 10:21:54
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For more in the Direct To Video Sequels series, click here.

User Comments

8/04/09 Ken Komnick Garbage. 1 stars
9/19/05 David Fowler The beautiful and talented Sbarge is the sole saving grace of this appalling sequel. 1 stars
9/02/02 y2mckay This one sucks ass. The first one is great though. Go rent that. 1 stars
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  02-Aug-1994 (R)
  DVD: 30-Aug-2005



Directed by
  Seth Pinsker

Written by
  Seth Pinsker

  Raphael Sbarge
  Kate Hodge
  Christopher Murphy
  Michael Weldon

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