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Overall Rating

Awesome: 24.14%
Worth A Look: 17.24%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 20.69%
Total Crap37.93%

2 reviews, 17 user ratings

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Bohemian Rhapsody
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by Rob Gonsalves

"Malek is fine. The rest is spinach."
2 stars

If we agree that movies — even documentaries — are not the first place to look for the unalloyed truth, the question then becomes, What story are we being told? To what ends are the facts being bent?

The answer may explain why a movie is a runaway success, like Bohemian Rhapsody, the most lucrative musical biopic of all time, which takes the thorny persona of Freddie Mercury and gentles him into what he says, in the film, he doesn’t want to be: a cautionary tale. Better to say that Mercury, safely dead for the better part of three decades, is now ripe for autopsy and a moviemaker can try to divine by his entrails.

The narrative being pushed here is one of a boy, Farrokh Bulsara (Rami Malek), who as the movie begins has already Americanized his name to Freddie. After a while he will legally change his last name to Mercury, cutting himself off from his Farsi roots. Freddie is bisexual but falls in love with one woman, Mary (Lucy Boynton). Despite his later life consisting of a blur of male partners, Mary remains his one great love. With his band Queen, Freddie reaches the stars but emotionally wallows in the gutter, until his AIDS diagnosis humbles him. He grovels his way back to the band (with their hetero lives, their wives and children), and the movie ends on the sweeping up note of Queen’s triumph at 1985’s Live Aid concert.

Never mind that the real Mercury wasn’t diagnosed until 1987; that would just end things on a bummer, and bummers don’t make almost $600 million worldwide. Bohemian Rhapsody certainly doesn’t take aesthetic risks comparable to those of its namesake single; it’s a bog-standard rise-and-fall-and-rise music biopic, and whatever affection has attached to it is pretty much the work of Rami Malek, whose resemblance to Mercury is passable — the actual Mercury had a kind of Christopher Reeve butch handsomeness interrupted by the extra teeth crowding his mouth. The way Malek’s syllables undertake the perilous journey around the fake choppers he wears is a little distracting, but a quick check of video of Mercury himself reveals that’s pretty much how he talked, right down to the frequent sucking on the front teeth.

Malek obliges the movie’s preferred narrative by enacting young, hungry Freddie, then success-sodden, druggy-orgy Freddie, then humbled Freddie ready for greatness, having suffered and renounced the catting around. He does all of this with sufficient facility, but Bohemian Rhapsody is probably better suited for people who haven’t seen this basic story a hundred times. The difference is the music, and I wonder if part of what accounts for the strong box office is that people are using the movie to see “Queen” in concert. The singing is Mercury’s, as is the band’s playing, taken, I assume, from live tapes of the era, so people might also want to hear the music in movie theaters with reasonably good sound systems as a communal event, framed by biographical re-enactments with the guy from Mr. Robot.

I’d hate to think it’s the message that’s driving repeat business. And that message? If you’re from an immigrant family, and on the queer spectrum, you can have it all, but don’t get too far above yourself. Show respect for your ma and pa (both followers of Zoroastrianism, which teaches that to be gay is to be demonic), tell your one-time white hetero female lover that she’s the love of your life (to hell with you, Jim Hutton, the lover who nursed Mercury until his death), and basically reject whatever sweaty, glittery, outlaw energy made people want to make a movie about you in the first place. Oh, and the press — enemy of the people! — is a mob of barking, salacious freaks who just want to know who you’re fucking, and gays around you will sell you out to them.

“I’m not going to be anybody’s victim, AIDS poster boy or cautionary tale,” says Freddie, blithely unaware of the movie he’s in and what it turns him into.

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originally posted: 12/11/18 10:18:08
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User Comments

9/22/19 Bobbo One of the best rock films ever. 5 stars
7/20/19 Jake "Toffee-nosed" bastard A ludicrous joke of a movie, almost unwatchable. 1 stars
7/19/19 Jonathan Certainly more of a trip down memory lane. Cool for wha it is. 4 stars
7/01/19 Dr. Lao As formulaic as all music artist movies, but in a good way this time 4 stars
3/04/19 James Queerbugger The director is a woofter, there-fore the film is total horse-shit. 1 stars
2/13/19 Piz Flows fast and entertaining. Had me engaged from start to finish. 4 stars
2/13/19 Langano It will rock you! 4 stars
1/26/19 Leepy Entertaining despite not being a Queen fan 4 stars
12/11/18 teddy crescendo This movie really is atrocious trash of the lowest order. 1 stars
12/10/18 Lou Brousek I laughed-I cried-I loved it-great biopic-seen in a new theater-fabulous sound! 5 stars
11/23/18 Matt Literally one of the best films I’ve ever seen... don’t nitpick it, just experience it. 5 stars
11/20/18 Ken How can anyone not like this? It's really amazing! 5 stars
11/19/18 the giver of the law Unwatchable rubbish from first-frame-to-last. 1 stars
11/09/18 Louise Not all of us have seen 'Wayne's World' & EMI said Bo Rap was too long to get airplay 5 stars
11/07/18 Bob Dog All the Freddy biopic I had hoped for and more! 5 stars
11/05/18 Louise (the real one) What's up with you all? It's fantastic! Too British?? 5 stars
11/03/18 the sayer of the truth Laughable garbage and so murderously embarrassing. 1 stars
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  02-Nov-2018 (PG-13)
  DVD: 12-Feb-2019


  DVD: 12-Feb-2019

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