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Overall Rating

Awesome: 20%
Worth A Look: 30%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad35%
Total Crap: 15%

2 reviews, 8 user ratings

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Desperate Measures
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by Scott Weinberg

"Wait, who was the villain again?"
2 stars

It's pretty tough to get behind an action hero when A) he kills innocent people and cops and B) he's Andy Garcia. The Flintstones was a more accurate portrayal of how real people act than this movie.

Think about it: The "villain" here (played with cool detachment by cool Michael Keaton) starts out as a quiet (albeit psycho) convict sitting in his cell, bothering no one. Andy Garcia's FBI guy shows up and wants to take some bone marrow for his cute kid, who's dying (slowly) of cancer. So Keaton wants something in return for the marrow and painful surgery and all, right? They screw him over, so when they get him to the hospital for the surgery, he tries to escape. I say good for him! So the rest of the movie is a bunch of silly people trapped inside a hospital, which unfortunately is connected via walkway to a prison. You heard me: A hospital/prison. Price and Watterhouse, take note.

Desperate Measures is yet another 'thriller' that would improve only if you added the Road Runner's "meep meep!" to the dialogue. Occasionally, chatacers could get yanked offstage by a giant hook, and all the stupid quips would be followed by a solid "BOING!" This is the kind of movie in which 500 cops could be searching the hospital for someone, yet the nice doctor lady keeps bumping into him all the time, like by accident. Bullets fly through everything, never even remotely hitting anything organic, and all the tired old cliches.

Ah, but there's a twist in this one. Apparently, our hero is so concerned with saving the life of his son that he is willing to shoot blindly into crowds and drop giant bridges onto the cops that try to stop him. He has to, of course. Through some early dialogue that I think even first-year med students may protest, we learn that if Keaton is killed, his bone marrow becomes INSTANTLY poisonous and is no good to anyone, especially cancer-ridden children. To that, I say this: Shoot him in the foot.

I think I've dedicated more time than this silly movie deserves, but there's one more point I'd like to make: You know the scene in every action movie where two (or more) parties are pointing guns directly at one another and screaming "put it down!"? Can we kill that scene? It doesn't happen. When people pull out guns near each other, people usually end up shot and not just a little hoarse.

Not horrible, just way too silly to be taken seriously. Andy Garcia still looks like a fish and Michael Keaton is just plain cool. Also, someone please explain to me why this Hollywood gunk was directed by Barbet Schroeder???

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originally posted: 12/23/99 18:32:19
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User Comments

9/14/17 morris campbell good acting nothing else 1 stars
12/17/13 Dane Youssef Aside from a stellar performace by Keaton, this thing is an utter waste and bore. ALL ELSE 1 stars
12/11/05 CONSTANTINE AWESOME-ly underrated, but still GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
9/09/04 Archanist_101 This film is undderrated... It desearves an Anime remake. With Gina Gershon & Keaton 5 stars
5/07/04 Chris Demetral It's a good movie.I loved it! 5 stars
4/29/04 Puspa Allamanda This is really a cool,cool movie! 5 stars
11/14/03 m. bailey ... yeah, it sucked. bad. 1 stars
4/13/03 Jack Sommersby The two leads are excellent, but the story is whoppingly implausible and ludicrous. 2 stars
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  30-Jan-1998 (R)



Directed by
  Barbet Schroeder

Written by
  David Klass

  Michael Keaton
  Andy Garcia
  Brian Cox
  Marcia Gay Harden
  Erik King
  Efrain Figueroa

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